Boss: The nice thing is, we’re no longer people who care!
202 West 1st Street
Los Angeles, California
- Posted on
- California, Dumb Bosses, Office Politics
Female cube dweller #1: I just got a massage for the first time.
Female cube dweller #2: How was it?
Female cube dweller #1: Girl, it was amazing. He had me get naked and even gave me a complimentary breast massage.
Male cube dweller: Wait… Wait… I don’t think he was supposed to do that.
Female cube dweller #1: Really? I don’t see why not… Really? Shit, I didn’t know that.
Male cube dweller: Yeah, he violated you. You can report him and he can lose his license for doing something like that.
Female cube dweller #1: Well, I don’t care — he was fine anyway. I’ll probably call him for another one.
Male cube dweller: You’re an idiot!
1455 Chancellor Drive
Orlando, Florida
- Posted on
- Coworkers, Florida, Possible Sexual Harassment
Copywriter: Have you seen Terri*? I have to ask her about her G-spot.
Sex toy company
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess
Office girl: He was murdered outside that bar.
Office guy: Oh my god! I remember that. It was on the news. You knew him?
Office girl: Yeah! I got his microwave!
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Peon #1, about son: Yeah, so he’s just at that age where he’s throwing things around now. I mean, he’ll grow out of it, but it’s annoying replacing his dummy every time he throws it away.
Peon #2: How old is he?
Peon #1: Twenty-three.
Clarendon Street
East Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Female editor: I’ve never been to Hooters, and I probably never will.
Male reporter: The service is exceptional.
Female editor: It takes the longest time for me to get my food there.
Male reporter: That’s the best part!
100 Avenue A
Conroe, Texas
Jersey office girl: Hey, my little dumpling!
Russian office girl: Dumpling?
Jersey office girl: Yeah! You’re my little dumpling!
Russian office girl: A dumpling is not so nice. I’d rather be a bread stick.
West 28th Street
New York, New York
- Posted on
- Coworkers, General Idiocy, New York
Woman, about her boyfriend: He doesn’t just shit on the bathroom floor of any restaurant. He only does it when he’s upset about the food or service. And he wouldn’t do it anywhere really nice — just at places like Arby’s or whatever.
Highway 55
Minneapolis, Minnesota
20-ish female associate: Yeah, and you should see her hair! She dyed it red.
20-ish male associate: Really? How red? Like, Netflix-red?
20-ish female associate: No! Worse than that. Like Tandoori chicken-red!
Middle-aged male associate: Wait, wait, wait — what on Earth are you two talking about? What ever happened to fire engine-red and candy apple-red? [Met with silent, blank stares, then waves his hand in disdain] Bah! You kids nowadays are all freaks!
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Worker bee: There’s nothing more romantic than porn falling on your head…
Palmer Street
Missoula, Montana
- Posted on
- Coworkers, General Idiocy, Montana
