US sales manager in teleconference: We gotta let the elephant be the hot dog right outta the shoe.
5 Thomas Holt Drive
Sydney
Australia
- Posted on
- Advice, Australia, Consultants
English teacher: Nice shirt.
Manager: Tell me about it… It’s laundry day.
Italian teacher: Oh god, I hate laundry day. I always run out of underwear and have to wear nothing under my skirt. I’m terrified that the dog will stick his face up my vagina… You know, literally.
Manager: Yeah, I don’t think there is a way to mean that in a non-literal sense.
434 Peixoto Gomide
São Paulo
Brazil
Overheard by: English Teacher #2
- Posted on
- Brazil, Dumb Employees, Gossip
Boss: You know, if you’re behind the train, then you’re probably driving on the tracks again.
200 West Oak Street
Fort Collins, Colorado
- Posted on
- Colorado, Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy
Supervisor: I have to clean this place up today before one of the company reps shows up!
Worker: Are they bringing us some squishy balls?!
Supervisor: No… Oh, not that kind of rep — this guy is from one of the companies that pays us.
Worker: What? Are they at least bringing some candy? Candy! Candy! Candy! Yay, candy!
University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Rasputin
- Posted on
- Arizona, Bosses and Underlings, General Idiocy
Customer on phone: The plug won’t fit!
IA rep: It’s okay, sir. I just need to confirm that the first device plugged into our router is either a firewall or a computer.
Customer on phone: They… They just won’t connect!
IA rep: We’re looking for an Ethernet line. Is there an Ethernet line coming out of the router? Make sure not to plug or unplug anything. It will take down your voice, too.
Customer on phone: It’s some telephone thingy… Oh, wait! This cord might work– [click].
IA rep: We got another one.
4800 Concentric Boulevard
Saginaw, Michigan
- Posted on
- Dumb Customers, Michigan, Technology
Mid-life crisis coworker: Hi, this is James*. You remember me? Good. Well, I was just calling to tell you that there’s lettuce on my bagel, and I ordered no lettuce, no tomato, and this is the third time this has happened. You guys make great food, but this is unacceptable and I thought you should be aware of your error.
Owings Mills, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Maintenance guy: You gotta get your key out real quick or they’re gonna swing an ax.
420 Western Avenue
Albany, New York
- Posted on
- Advice, Consultants, New York
Coworker: I bought some new gi-normous pearls — they’re like testicles!
1st Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Zoltarpanaflex
- Posted on
- Coworkers, Gossip, Washington
Man: Is that meeting here on the tenth floor?
Woman: No, it’s on the eleventh floor.
Man: Okay. Is that one floor up?
2775 Laurel Street
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
- Posted on
- Canadia, Dumb Employees, Questions
First grader #1: Miss D.*, how old are you?
23-year-old Miss D.: Well…
First grader #2: Shhh! Don’t you know you’re not supposed to ask an old lady how old she is?!
Hauppauge, New York
Overheard by: Toni
