Painting professor: I paint for people who look at art. Like, my mom will look at this and go, ‘Oh, I like the blue.’ And I don’t have to explain to my mother that this is actually about some weird sex thing I did.

Providence, Rhode Island

HR clerk: Excuse me, ma’am, but it appears that you have something stuck in your pantyhose on your left leg.
Visiting manager’s wife: I’m not wearing pantyhose!

5760 East Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Scientist at desk to tech in lab: Just because you want to see hot firemen doesn’t mean you have to set off the alarm!

20925 Crossroads Circle
Waukesha, Wisconsin

Cute intern reading UPS package label: Hey, Gerald*, you got a big package!

Hollywood, California

Overheard by: fatty

Phone rep: Yes, Jerry* is here. Would you like me to punch him?

915 Broadway
New York, New York

Overheard by: Sarah R

Employee: Everything about my life sucks right now! I need to go home, and I need to have a shower, and I need to get laid by someone who knows what he’s doing for once, and then I need to go to bed.

Sackville
New Brunswick
Canadia

Overheard by: Mel

English coworker: I’m just going outside to suck on a fag.

Irvine, California

Overheard by: James

Coworker to intern: So, how was the autopsy? Did you have a good time?

Norristown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Lan

Office manager in transplant center, slamming down phone: How dare he call me about heart when I have liver all over my desk?!

Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Wendy Booz

Boss on phone to wife: Yes, they’ll be in this evening. Well, afternoon-ish… Probably in the morning.

Cardiff
Wales