Blonde desk assistant: When is Christmas this year?
Editor: Tuesday, I think.
Blonde desk assistant: No, I mean what day? Like, the 25th?
Editor: Um… Yeah. The 25th.
Blonde desk assistant: But I thought that was Christmas Eve! When is Christmas Eve, then? [Editor stares.] Give me a break — I’m a Jew.
TV station broadcast center
New York, New York
Overheard by: News Bunny
- Posted on
- Dumb Employees, New York, Questions, Religion
Customer: Do you guys have any rooms available?
Front desk: No, sir. Unfortunately, we are completely sold out. If you like, I can give you the number of a few hotels in the area that have availability.
Customer, leaving and giving the finger: Does it look like I have a goddamn phone on me?
Front desk: I’d be more than happy to call them for you, sir.
Customer: Fuck you.
Front desk: Okay, sir. Have a wonderful night.
Elmira, New York
- Posted on
- Dumb Customers, Gripes, New York
Student to another, after grabbing cookie from unattended table: What?! They left them out! That’s like leaving food out and not expecting the rats to come!
University
Prince George, British Columbia
Canadia
- Posted on
- Canadia, Office Politics, Students
Customer: Could you tell me where the Amaryllis bulbs are?
Clerk #1: Hey, do you know where we keep the bulbs?
Clerk #2: I think they’re on Aisle Four — y’know, with the other electrical stuff.
Clerk #1, to customer: Did you check there? That’s where we keep the bulbs.
Customer: No, no, no — they’re flowers! Do you have any?
Clerk #1: Well, I’m pretty sure we’ve got bulbs. Did you need a three-way one, or a regular one? You should check on Aisle Four, then.
1690 Grande Avenue
Arroyo Grande, California
Overheard by: Blue
- Posted on
- California, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy
Teacher: That’s an interesting tattoo, Jacob*!
Student #1: Thanks.
Teacher: Are you like the tattooed man from The Great Gatsby?
Student #2, after long pause: Yo, we don’t read!
High school
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
- Posted on
- Canadia, General Idiocy, Students, Teachers
Cocktail waitress #1: What’s a late-term abortion?
Cocktail waitress #2: I’m not sure, but I think it’s when you have an abortion when the baby’s being born.
Cocktail waitress #1: Ew! They can do that?! [A few minutes later] Where is Washington state?
Cocktail waitress #2: I think it’s near Seattle…
Cocktail waitress #1: You think they meant to say ‘Washington, DC’?
Cocktail waitress #2: I don’t know, but that’s pretty dumb of them if they did mean DC. People can get confused, you know?
Hotel and casino
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: HannA
- Posted on
- Bimbettes, General Idiocy, Nevada
Applicant: I don’t have a copy of my résumé. A dog threw up on my laptop.
Horsham, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: alxie
- Posted on
- Dumb Employees, Gossip, Pennsylvania
Hot intern #1: You know why I love wearing miniskirts on Mondays?
Hot intern #2: Maybe. Why?
Hot intern #1: Because I can air things out after a weekend of hard work.
Hot intern #2: Oh, hey, I wonder if that would work for me…
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: not getting any
- Posted on
- Health & Hygiene, Illinois, Interns & Temps
CSR: So, what city in Philadelphia are we doing the pickup?
Everett, Massachusetts
Overheard by: OK, I feel smarter now.
- Posted on
- Dumb Employees, Massachusetts, Questions
Cube dweller: Zebrafish! Liquid nitrogen!
Business affairs office
Oregon
Overheard by: research sounds like fun
- Posted on
- Coworkers, General Idiocy, Oregon
