Defense attorney at deposition: … And before the accident, about how many times per month were you intimate with your wife?
Plaintiff: Um, probably upper 20s.
Defense attorney, incredulous: Upper 20s?!
Plaintiff: Yeah. My wife is Latin.

9th Street
Sacramento, California

Office girl: This magazine says that men, on average, have sex 84 times a year.
Older math geek: Hmmm. That’s like one and a half times a week.
Office girl: What do you mean, ‘half’? There are no half-times when it comes to sex.
Older math geek: Trust me, there are.

Chantilly, Virginia

Team leader: She was like some kind of robot lesbian.

St. John’s, Newfoundland
Canadia

Executive assistant: Shit! Oh, wait, no. I take back my shit.

242 West 38th Street
New York, New York

Office guy: He’s married with two kids, but all he does is play Xbox.
Office girl: That’s not good.
Office guy: Well, he does find time to do other things, like, you know, play with his kids and smoke weed.

Connecticut

NASA intern: Okay, kids, let’s put on our pirate costumes and play spaceman!

Research center
California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl

20-ish male CNA: Hey, what’s a taint?
20-ish female nurse #1: Well, it ‘taint your balls, and it ‘taint your asshole — it’s in between.
20-ish female nurse #2: I don’t think I have a taint…
20-ish male CNA: I had a girlfriend in high school who used to like to put her tongue there!

130 2nd Street
Neenah, Wisconsin

Boss: Did you find mail in the bathroom?
Intern: Yeah, is it yours?
Boss: Yeah, I left it there on purpose.
Intern: Do you want me to put it back?
Boss: No, I’ll take it now, please.

Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

Lady #1: Is your husband feeling any better?
Lady #2: No, but I am getting better at avoiding him and ignoring him.

5760 East Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Receptionist on phone: Look under my dress. There should be paper and a pen.

Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Liz