Associate: I have a hard time crying over dead children.

910 Louisiana Street
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: The Man

Company rep: Good morning, monsieurs and madames! I thought we were all friends, but I’ve heard that someone here thinks I’m pretentious.

Law firm
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Megsie

Cashier #1: I don’t understand why people act like such assholes to us, you know?
Cashier #2: Because they know we can’t say anything back.
Cashier #1: But… for all they know we could be mentally unbalanced and one little comment from them could send us over the edge, and we could get their addresses and hack them into pieces one night.
Cashier #2: I’m telling my mama not to go through your line no more, you crazy bitch.

Grocery store
Farmville, North Carolina

Overheard by: MB

Woman to boss: You should absolutely take your daughter to see To Kill a Mockingbird. Unless, of course, you’re worried about rape.

Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Admin girl: Are you sure you don’t have any meetings scheduled this afternoon or want to leave early to get a start on your weekend?
Boss: Nope, I’m all free this afternoon and thought I’d catch up on paper work.
Admin girl: Oh, okay.
Boss: Why?
Admin girl: Because when you leave early I normally give you 10 minutes’ headway and then sneak out myself.
Boss: Ugh, just go already.

Brisbane
Australia

Coworker #1: I wonder who’ll get the Pfizer account…
Coworker #2: I hope I do! I love reading about erections!

Fort Point
Boston, Massachusetts

Client: Is it North or South of Route 24?
Manager: Well, that depends on where you’re coming from.
Client: Oh, really? How does that work?

Huntington, New York

Assistant checking weather online: Ohhh! Derek* got 12 inches yesterday!
Cube rat: I’m sorry, what did you say?
Assistant: He got 12 inches!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Coworker: Don’t close my door. Jack* and I like to communicate.
Jack: What’d you say?

Williamsburg, Virginia

Social worker: Honestly, what parent in their right mind hands a toddler who is just learning to walk a wire hanger as a chew toy in goodwill and thinks it’s a good idea?

Medical Center
Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: makin a difference