Girl on cell: I totally need to go to a doctor. I think I have that imitation bowel syndrome!

Office
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Jason Carr

Coworker #1: Did you drive or take the train today?
Coworker #2: Train.
Coworker #1: What time are you leaving?
Coworker #2: I don’t know…
Coworker #1: Oh, I think I’m leaving before that.

Office building, 47th Street and 6th Avenue
New York, New York

Woman on cell: … So now instead of going to the funeral we’re going to the strawberry festival.

Indiana government center
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Mmm… strawberries

Garbage man to another: I was driving a truck on the on-ramp and I seen a naked guy runnin’ alongside the freeway. I yelled at him, ‘Yeah! Way to go! Naked people are cool!’ It wasn’t like it gave me a chub or anything.

Garbage company
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: the dispatcher whose heard it all

Indian woman: I gave my 11-year-old son his introduction to sex last night.
White woman: Uh… What did you do with him?
Indian woman: I explained to him everything he needed to know. It’s part of our traditions.
White woman: You explained to him about orgasms, and where the clitoris is?
Indian woman: Oh, yes, and I was quite surprised to find out how much he already knew.
White woman: Such as…?
Indian woman: He told me he knew what the G-spot was, and how to find it.
White woman: Where would an 11-year-old boy learn about things like that?
Indian woman: From his friends. Many of them have sisters and mothers who they have seen in the nude.
White woman: Well, uh, good luck.

DMV office
Westbury, New York

Overheard by: Big Larry

Manager on phone: Oh, yes, I remember now. Fuck you!

75 Washington Avenue
Portland, Maine

Overheard by: brian brinegar

Old coworker: You don’t know anything about the Beatles.
Young coworker: Sure I do. They were influenced by the Monkees.

90 5th Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Shaun G

Peon #1: The French are pretentious, but every once in a while they invent something cool.
Peon #2: Yeah, like wife-swapping.

504 Main Street
Colorado

Overheard by: shaine

Employee digging for appropriate giveaway for children’s project: Let’s see what we got… Oooh, a grenade! Kids love grenades!

Noho
New York, New York

Cop: Is there any such thing as too many crackheads? I don’t think so. There are just never enough.

Academy Street
Newark, New Jersey

Overheard by: Dude