Office drone: It’s like… once you see the purple elephant walk into the room, you just don’t care.
490 1st Avenue South
St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: django
- Posted on
- Coworkers, Florida, Office Politics
Office peon: That John Wilkes Booth — they just didn’t shoot Lincoln soon enough.
Arlington, Texas
CSR girl: The Gold Gentleman’s Club… That’s where girls strip, right?
Sleazy manager: Yeah, they got real pretty girls there, but they don’t dance long enough! You give them a 20, and they look at you like, ‘What have you done for me lately?’
Quiet guy: They’ve got really good food there on Fridays.
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Office Peon
- Posted on
- Bosses and Underlings, Gossip, Maryland
Trainer during computer training class: Now, everyone use their last name and first initial as their user name and password.
Trainee #1: I did that and it says I don’t exist.
Trainee #2: Me, too.
Trainee #3: Same here.
Trainer: Raise your hand if you don’t exist. [Almost entire class raises their hands.]Meek voice from the back: I exist.
1515 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Jas
- Posted on
- New York, Students, Teachers, Technology
American client: Aren’t we supposed to receive last month’s results soon?
French staffer: Normally, yes, but Easter was only last Sunday.
American client: So?
French staffer: Well, it means we’re only in the first week of a two-week holiday. So everything will be ready in three weeks.
American client: What? Do those fucking socialist dicksippers really have two weeks off for Easter?! You know, when I retire I’m going to work in France.
125 West 55th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Jean val Jean
- Posted on
- Dumb Customers, Insults, New York
Office grunt: There’s nothing wrong with grandmas… Like you’ve never wanted a GILF!
1440 South Clearview Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Garbageman on phone: I am calling in sick. I took some Cialis and I have had an erection for more than four hours… Has anyone used that excuse before?
Dispatcher: No, not that I recall.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: dispatcher who has heard it all
- Posted on
- California, Coworkers, Gossip
Announcement over PA: If anyone has taken Maureen’s* K-Y Jelly, please return it immediately.
W 66th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: wondering why its needed
- Posted on
- Employees, New York, Offers and requests
Office manager: Have you ever seen the images from an MRI? It’s amazing the beautiful colors that are inside of our bodies!
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: glorified gopher
- Posted on
- Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Georgia, Health & Hygiene
Suit: I’d do it just to say I had hair on my ass.
385 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
- Posted on
- Body Parts, General Idiocy, New York, Suits
