Worker bee: Oh my god! I’m so excited, I’m gonna pee on the carpet! I got the e-mail about that 11-thousand-dollar deal! [Stands up up and lifts leg] Psss… Psss… Look at me! I’m the cat! I’m peeing on the carpet!
Nashville, Tennessee
- Posted on
- Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Tennessee
Lady customer: I need a phone that’ll work all year — all three hundred sixty-two days.
Electronics store
California
Overheard by: Stephen
- Posted on
- California, Dumb Customers, General Idiocy
Crazy woman at front desk: I will not be a slave to my teeth!
1685 Main Street
Santa Monica, California
- Posted on
- California, Dumb Customers, Gripes
Account manager: Um, it’s called the UK. Sometimes it’s a country, and sometimes it’s not.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: When is it not?
- Posted on
- Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Washington DC
Editor to coworker whose loud text alert goes off in meeting: Matt*, when your crotch cries out, we all stop and take notice.
Bay Avenue
Stafford, New Jersey
Overheard by: inothernews
- Posted on
- Coworkers, New Jersey, Possible Sexual Harassment, Technology
Secretary: Does it involve undergarments? If so, I’m not there.
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lan
- Posted on
- Coworkers, Meetings, Pennsylvania
Legal aide: But we have an agreement with them.
Secretary: Well, agreement is the starting point of arguments.
Office
Malaysia
- Posted on
- Consultants, Malaysia, Office Politics
Employee: Can I have your first and last name?
Customer: I don’t have one.
715 Jefferson Street
Wausau, Wisconsin
- Posted on
- Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Wisconsin
Secretary #1: Here, I’ll trade you dark chocolate for my chocolate.
Secretary #2: No, I like dark chocolate.
Secretary #1: Why does the white man have to take all the dark chocolate? That’s the last piece of dark chocolate, and I’m dark so I should eat it! You ate all the white chocolate last week because you’re white, and now you’re going to have all the dark chocolate, too, just like the white man does to everything!
Secretary #2, eating dark chocolate: It’s all mine now. Look at this! [Opens mouth.]Secretary #1, muttering to herself and walking away: Just like the white man…
11330 Pierce Street
Riverside, California
Overheard by: Kevin
- Posted on
- California, Coworkers, Gripes, Meals and Snacks, Race
Secretary: Did Taryn* come back from the doctor’s?
Chart drone: Yeah, she said the doctor put a stiffener in her.
Secretary: Good, that will help her.
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: phoenix, best analyst ever
- Posted on
- Coworkers, Gossip, New York, Possible Sexual Harassment
