It’s Hard to Push the Feathered Glory from My Loosening Thighs

Slutty coworker: Oh, I just joined the most fantastic group in MySpace, XYZ Friends*. It’s incredible. You don’t even have to look for men — you just join and men fly all over you.
Snarky coworker: You flaming parakeet.

São Paulo
Brazil

I Blame Our Support Staff

Grunt #1: Shit, the bombs aren’t in the bags.
Grunt #2: Awww, fuck it. Let’s go get a hamburger.

New York, New York

Overheard by: Thrax

A Good Way to Get People to Stop Sending You E-mail

Worker bee: Oh my god! I’m so excited, I’m gonna pee on the carpet! I got the e-mail about that 11-thousand-dollar deal! [Stands up up and lifts leg] Psss… Psss… Look at me! I’m the cat! I’m peeing on the carpet!

Nashville, Tennessee

I Think We Can Do Even Better

Lady customer: I need a phone that’ll work all year — all three hundred sixty-two days.

Electronics store
California

Overheard by: Stephen

Tell Them Under No Circumstances Will Their Demands Be Met

Crazy woman at front desk: I will not be a slave to my teeth!

1685 Main Street
Santa Monica, California

Like Alternate-Side Parking

Account manager: Um, it’s called the UK. Sometimes it’s a country, and sometimes it’s not.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: When is it not?

Think I Just PDA’d Myself

Editor to coworker whose loud text alert goes off in meeting: Matt*, when your crotch cries out, we all stop and take notice.

Bay Avenue
Stafford, New Jersey

Overheard by: inothernews

Last Time, Frank from Accounting Tore My Favorite Negligee

Secretary: Does it involve undergarments? If so, I’m not there.

Norristown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Lan

Which Is Why I Keep This Big Stick under My Desk

Legal aide: But we have an agreement with them.
Secretary: Well, agreement is the starting point of arguments.

Office
Malaysia

Would You Like to Adopt Me?

Employee: Can I have your first and last name?
Customer: I don’t have one.

715 Jefferson Street
Wausau, Wisconsin

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