Best Quotes from the past two weeks



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2PM Actually, No One; I'm Just Here for the Bud Light

Rep #1: You'd think they'd put them away in the winter time.
Rep #2: Put what away?
Rep #1: Those.
Rep #2: The Ferris wheels?
Rep #1: Yeah, so they don't get all wet and snowed on.
Rep #2: Okay, where would you want to put them?
Rep #1, exasperated: I don't know; a garage?
Rep #2: Who the hell hired you?

Louisville, Kentucky

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf? |
Posted 2012-02-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

10AM The Unkindest Paper Cut Of All

Office guy: Can I have one of your tampons?
Office girl: (stunned silence)
Office guy: Stamps! I meant stamps.

Quebec
Canadia

Overheard by: Bill

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf? |
Posted 2012-01-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

9AM Almost Makes You Think

Male coworker: I'm real good with women. Women love me. I can handle a woman.
Female coworker: Okay...
Male coworker: But, you know, now that I think about it... Every time I've ever been stabbed has been because of a woman.
Female coworker: Okay... Well, that's... Okay.

Washington, DC

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf? |
Posted 2012-01-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

3PM You Want This Job Or Not?

Trainee: Well, I'll see you Friday
Employee #1: No, I'm off.
Manager: Yeah, me too.
Employee #2: So am I.
Trainee: Whoa, where's the party?
Manager: Your house.

New Milford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Nik

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf? |
Posted 2012-01-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

10AM ...Lord

Female coworker: I would never leave you such a message, nor tell you to suck anything.

Raleigh, North Carolina

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf? |
Posted 2012-01-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

1PM Well Done, Dear Colleagues!

Coworker arriving at office: I expect to be greeted with bright, chipper voices in the morning.
Voice down the hall: Shut the hell up!

Government Office
Washington, DC

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf? |
Posted 2012-01-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

4PM I'm Sorry, There's No Bert Here.

Suit on phone: May I please speak with Bob? (pause) Bob... Bob... B as in bob, o, b as in bob!

Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf? |
Posted 2012-01-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

9AM And What Do You Mean by "Change My Oil"?

40-something blonde in fur jacket with sunglasses, to mechanic: Rotate my tires? Don't my tires rotate automatically as I'm driving?

Island Park, New York

Overheard by: Big Larry

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf? |
Posted 2012-01-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

5PM These New Supervisors Know Nothing About Management

Engineer, about supervisor: He wasn't devious, he wouldn't stab you in the back. He'd come right up to you and stab you in the face.

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Arfnotz

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf? |
Posted 2012-01-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook
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