Canadia

Employee #1: Wearing the pinstripe today, eh? Real banker-like.
Manager: Yeah, makes me work harder. But you should see me at 4:30. I’ll be wearing jeans and a sweatshirt and working the park.
Employee #1: Pardon?
Manager: I’ll be selling hot chocolate.
Employee #2: Is that your name there or the product you’ll be selling?

3 King Street S
Waterloo, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: SAM BRUNTON-LEWIS

Co-worker #1: Make sure you eat some of the leftovers from the potluck.
Co-worker #2: Okay.
Co-worker #1: And you’d better hurry before [Nick] and [Sara] get in there and stuff their faces. They give pigs a bad name.

10011 109th Street
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

Co-worker: The network people are always sending around network interruption notices telling us that the system will be down Sunday from 10-2. Like I’m working then! Besides, this is like therapy for people with BlackBerries. Free yourselves, crackberry slaves!

50 Driveway
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Manager: Did I hear someone trying to play matchmaker? Have you routed a memo for approval?

10155 102 Street
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: angel.girl

CEO: We can’t shoot our parents until we can afford to move out of the house.

355 Burrard Street
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia

Co-worker #1: Are you dipping in the company ink?
Co-worker #2: Nope, the ink was red.

4221 74 Avenue NW
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

Worker #1: So how is the database server test going?
Junior Manager: Great! That new machine is going like gang bangers!
Worker #2: He, he…”gang bangers”.
Junior Manager: Damn! You know what I meant.
Worker #1: Well…I guess they do work pretty hard.

13571 Commerce Parkway
Richmond, British Columbia
Canadia

Overheard by: Richard Shoehorn

Computer Technician: Wow, it’s amazing what kind of difference a couple of inches can make…Have you seen [Ben]’s?

The other technicians burst out laughing.

Computer Technican: I meant his new 19″ monitor. Grow up.

1035 64th Avenue SE
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

Boss: Your brother is Wiccan?
Drone: Yes.
Boss: So he does magic?
Drone: He likes to think so.
Boss: And he’s not Christian?
Drone: …No.
Boss: So he can do whatever he wants? Like kill someone?
Drone: …No, he still has to abide by the laws of the land.

557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Office girl: Why don’t we recycle here?
Office guy: Because we’re fucking trying to eliminate winter!

740 Dundas Street E
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia