Old man on computer and phone: Oh, I love dragging and dropping! Manhattan, New York Overheard by: adele works with septugenarians.
Coworker #1, laughing: Oh my god, I was headed to the time clock and Bill* asked me if I said goodbye to Peter*.
Office manager: Peter? There's no Peter here.
Coworker #2: The spider?
Coworker #1: Yes, Peter the spider. Anyway, I said no and I went to his office to tell Peter goodnight.
Office manager: You guys have named a spider “Peter”?
Coworker #1: Yes… Anyway, he said there's a snack there for him. I figured it was a dead bug, but no, there's an m&m laid on the shelf above where Peter's hanging.
Coworker #3: Oh my god!
Coworker #1: I was laughing so hard I was crying.
Office manager: I'm going to kill Peter after Bill goes home.
Coworker #1, gasping: No!! Don't kill Peter! Charlotte, North Carolina
PR gal: We need a really memorable tag line, like “Stop, Drop and Roll” from the ’80s. Whatever happened to that, anyway?
Intern guy: It still works if you’re on fire. 41 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Sales girl: Sooo [Alice], I hear you are having butt trauma today.
[Alice] the assistant: Yeah, I don’t know what is wrong, but it just hurts. Down in my butt crack. It just hurts.
Sales guy: Huh? What’s going on?
[Alice]: Shut up, you’ve seen it already! 8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Matronly office drone: The internet keeps playing games; it keeps going down on me. (pause) Wait, that sounds bad. Bellevue, Washington
Short white girl: Manamana.
Tall white guy: Do-do, do-do-do.
Short white girl: Manaman.
Tall white guy: Do-do-do-do.
Short white girl: Manamana.
Tall white guy: Do-do, do-do-do, do-do, dah-do-do-do-do-do…
Short white girl: Manamana!
Black coworker: Crazy white folk… What the hell's wrong witchu two? Newark Airport
UPS: I’ve got a big one for you today!
Office Manager: Ooh! I’ll take it! 10801 Main Street
Bellevue, Washington Overheard by: Jeni Gonzales
Cube dweller #1, at weekly company breakfast: Oooh, breakfast. I forgot today was breakfast day.
Cube dweller #2: They sure do know how to buy us off. They could take away our chairs and there would only be a minor grumbling, but if they took away our breakfast… Like, ‘Yeah, we’re gonna be a standing agency now.’ ‘Yeah, that’s cool. Just don’t mess with my breakfast.’ 233 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois Overheard by: Cube Monkey
CSR: So is there anything else I can help you with?
Customer: I’m not sure; are there any questions I didn’t ask yet? 605 5th Avenue South
Seattle, Washington Overheard by: listening in
Girl with bad case of poison ivy on face and arms, day #3: My face is looking better!
Coworker: Well… The poison ivy is clearing up. Carrollton, New Orleans Overheard by: Itchy