Overheard in the Office http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/ The Voice of the Cubicle Copyright 2012 Fri, 03 Feb 2012 17:00:00 -0500 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.31 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss If he could impregnate you electronically, he would have. Indian man on voice mail: Hello, my name is Joe*. I am calling for my friend Alan Warren*. This is for Susan*. Please give Alan a call. He would like you to be the mother of his children.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-02-03
]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013606.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013606.html Fri, 03 Feb 2012 17:00:00 -0500 Is That Tami*? Director: Holy shit, come look at this.
Sales manager: Is it that weird animal porn you keep talking about?
Director: What?
Sales manager: Nothing, I'm kidding, what is it?
Director: I'm trying to get to a government website and this keeps happening...
Sales manager: What the fuck? Is that actually animal porn?
Director: This pretty much ruined my day and I wanted to share it with you.
Sales manager: Is that a fucking doberman?
Director, to the rest of the office: Do not go to this website. You cannot un-see this shit!

Fort Mill, South Carolina

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013605.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013605.html Fri, 03 Feb 2012 16:00:00 -0500 And I Hate Kelly Delivery man: Would you sign for this, ma'am?
Office worker #1: Call Kelly and ask her to come down here and sign for it. It's her order.
Office worker #2: Why don't you just sign for it?
Office worker #1: My hands are busy.

Bainbridge Island, Washington

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013604.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013604.html Fri, 03 Feb 2012 15:00:00 -0500 The Dinosaurs Were Catholics, You Know Office drone: Wow! My boss is angrier than a t-rex that just realized it can't masturbate!

Nashville, Tennessee

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013603.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013603.html Fri, 03 Feb 2012 14:00:00 -0500 In the Meantime, Fetch Me My Ten-Foot Pole. Sales rep, in the middle of staff meeting: I am recycling my list to make sure I touch everyone.

Shrewsbury, Pennsylvania

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013602.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013602.html Fri, 03 Feb 2012 13:00:00 -0500 I Have Several Lovely Tall Buildings I Could Recommend to You... Applications processor: Well, there are rules, like we won't pay if you kill yourself within the first two years of your policy. But after that you gotta do what ya gotta do.

Virginia

Overheard by: if you're suicidal, hopefully you have great willpower

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013601.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013601.html Fri, 03 Feb 2012 11:00:00 -0500 ...By Relabeling Them "Escorts" COO: And the first thing I did was get rid of all the prostitutes.

Newton Centre, Massachusetts

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013600.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013600.html Fri, 03 Feb 2012 10:00:00 -0500 For Their Adorable Little Death Battles Female coworker: It's a baby knife.
Perplexed male coworker: It's a paring knife.
Female coworker: No, it's a baby knife. For little babies!!

Chico, California

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013599.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013599.html Fri, 03 Feb 2012 09:00:00 -0500 Well, what about a pencil? Worker on phone: Team Alpha*.
Client: I'm calling about my emergency assistance.
Worker: You would need to talk to the Emergency Assistance team about that, would you like the phone number?
Client: Yeah, do you have a pen?
Worker: Yes.
Client: Oh, yeah, that's not gonna work, is it?

Minneapolis, Minnesota

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-02-02
]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013598.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013598.html Thu, 02 Feb 2012 17:00:00 -0500 IT People Are Heartless, Not Cruel Coworker, in response to request for user study participants: Have we figured out who it was that was crying at her desk when she was using the system? She may be a good person to add.

Charlotte, North Carolina

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013597.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013597.html Thu, 02 Feb 2012 16:00:00 -0500 Best. Career Advice. Ever. Female vegetarian coworker to male office executive at lunch pizza party: Keep your sausages to yourself!

Salt Lake City, Utah

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013596.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013596.html Thu, 02 Feb 2012 15:00:00 -0500 Pop-Tarts: Explained Senior VP of administration: Is it weird that I don't like to see my own poo.
VP of operations: Wrap it in tin foil. That's what I do.
Assistant to VP of operations: Put it in the toaster.

Los Angeles, California

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013595.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013595.html Thu, 02 Feb 2012 14:00:00 -0500 Which, Granted, Is Kinda Hot Woman cube dweller: How many cups of coffee have you had already? It's only 9 am!
Man cube dweller: Not sure... probably the equivalency of five or six, but I'm not real sure because once the cup is half empty I go and fill it again... Why... Why... Why?
Woman cube dweller: Because you're racing...
Man cube dweller: Yeah, not gonna lie starting to get the shakes a bit, and am tweaking...
Woman cube dweller: Yeah, you're about to tweak all over your pants.

St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: Dom

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013594.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013594.html Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:00:00 -0500 Apparently Northern California, Too. Cubicle dweller: It's well known that southern California seeks to use the backdoor as much as possible.

Overland Park, Kansas

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013593.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013593.html Thu, 02 Feb 2012 11:00:00 -0500 That's What You Said About "Who Let the Dogs Out?"! Coworker #1: No harm, no foul.
Coworker #2: I've never heard that expression... Is it from basketball?
Coworker #3: It's Shakespeare!

Law Library
Ann Arbor, Michigan

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-02-02
]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013592.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013592.html Thu, 02 Feb 2012 10:00:00 -0500