Overheard in the Office http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/ The Voice of the Cubicle Copyright 2012 Wed, 16 May 2012 15:00:00 -0500 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.31 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss GM's Been Doing That for Years Cool but nervous manager on conference call to big bosses: So you are having trouble with those bolts?
Local manager: Yes, but we added oil and they worked better.
Big boss: You are not authorized to use oil.
Local manager: You ever tried to screw a dry hole?
(momentary silence, then loud laughter)
Local manager: Oh, shit!

Arlington, Texas

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-05-16
]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013768.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013768.html Wed, 16 May 2012 15:00:00 -0500 You're Just Too Young to Remember The Muppet Show Short white girl: Manamana.
Tall white guy: Do-do, do-do-do.
Short white girl: Manaman.
Tall white guy: Do-do-do-do.
Short white girl: Manamana.
Tall white guy: Do-do, do-do-do, do-do, dah-do-do-do-do-do...
Short white girl: Manamana!
Black coworker: Crazy white folk... What the hell's wrong witchu two?

Newark Airport
New Jersey

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013767.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013767.html Wed, 16 May 2012 14:00:00 -0500 I Thought I Just Did. Male coworker: Want to go to a party later?
Gullible female coworker: Really? You want me to come to a party with you? Is there a theme?
Male coworker: Yes, it's a "pants party."
Gullible female coworker: That sounds cool... What's a pants party?
Male coworker: It's a party in my pants, haha.
Gullible female coworker: I really don't get it... What time are you going to pick me up?

Lafayette, California

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013766.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013766.html Wed, 16 May 2012 13:00:00 -0500 Red. ...No, Wait. Blue! Customer service: Thank you for calling us, how can I help you?
Patriotic driver: I have a question about my policy.
Customer service: Alright, I'd be happy to answer that for you. Is this a personal or commercial policy?
Patriotic driver: American.
Customer service: Ooooookay, let's start with your policy number.

Richmond, Virginia

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013765.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013765.html Wed, 16 May 2012 11:00:00 -0500 If One More Person Asks Me That Today... Designer #1 to designer #2: My wife likes Justin Bieber.
Designer #2, photoshopping pictures of people with justin bieber bangs: Want me to bang her?

Indianapolis, Indiana

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013764.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013764.html Wed, 16 May 2012 10:00:00 -0500 This Au Bon Pain Won't Become a Starbucks for at Least an Hour Elderly woman: (hands cashier a Starbucks gift card)
Cashier: Oh. I'm sorry, ma'am, but you can't redeem this here.
Elderly woman: Why not? It has $25 on it.
Cashier: Because this is a Starbucks card, and you are at Au Bon Pain. You have to use this at a Starbucks.
Elderly woman: That's stupid. It's all coffee.
Cashier: Yes, but it's a different company.
Elderly woman: That's stupid. You're stupid. You and your stupid children.
Cashier: Okay, ma'am. I don't have kids.
Elderly woman: Well, you look like you had some stupid kids out of wedlock on and now all of you are on welfare.
Cashier: Okay, ma'am. Please leave.

Union Square
New York City, New York

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013763.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013763.html Wed, 16 May 2012 09:00:00 -0500 ...Have You Heard One Of Us Is Gonna Get the Shaft? IT guy, out of the blue: Speaking of penetration...

Hill Air Force Base, Utah

Overheard by: Wendy

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-05-15
]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013762.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013762.html Tue, 15 May 2012 17:00:00 -0500 It's Not Self-Highlighting? Coworker, in totally serious and businesslike manner: Can you hand me that highlighter? I need to highlight "Dick Wet."

Law Firm
Upstate New York

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013761.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013761.html Tue, 15 May 2012 16:00:00 -0500 How Gay Troops Hurt Morale: Encapsulated Captain to corporal, watching action movie: Hmmm, I didn't really like Julia Stiles in this movie, I thought she was better in The Prince and Me.
Corporal: I don't know, a lot of people didn't really like that movie.
Captain: Hmmm, well, she was better in that one.
(watches for a few more moments and walks away)

New Westminister
Vancouver
Canadia

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013760.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013760.html Tue, 15 May 2012 15:00:00 -0500 Anybody Else Wonder Why a Tech Company Still Uses Faxes? Boss to assistant: What! I can't believe you sent a fax with a handwritten cover sheet!
Assistant: Well, I thought that...
Boss, cutting her off angrily: And with purple pen?
Assistant: Uh... faxes are black and white when they come out the other side.
Boss, shaking head: Still...

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Color blind...

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013759.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013759.html Tue, 15 May 2012 14:00:00 -0500 Or Heroin Coworker #1: I am getting sick but I have plans for tonight.
Coworker #2: If I had drugs I would give them to you.
Coworker #1: I don't need drugs to have a good time tonight.
Coworker #2: I mean drugs that help you get better, like Dayquil.

Arlington, Virginia

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013758.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013758.html Tue, 15 May 2012 13:00:00 -0500 Um, All I Asked Was, "What Are Your Rates?" Female coworker: This ain't no question-and-answer game. Trick or treat, dammit!

Raleigh, North Carolina

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013757.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013757.html Tue, 15 May 2012 11:00:00 -0500 Sometimes Our Submitters Are the Catty Ones Fiesty nurse: Man, my elbow itches, what that mean? Somebody thinkin bout me or something?

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Yep, his name is Ashy

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013756.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013756.html Tue, 15 May 2012 10:00:00 -0500 Haley Joel Osment Seems Lost As an Adult Actor Drone #1: I haven't found any more dead people.
Drone #2: It's harder to find them as they get younger and younger.
Drone #1: I mean haven't found any in a long time.

California

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]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013755.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013755.html Tue, 15 May 2012 09:00:00 -0500 ...So You Predicted Correctly. 14-year-old to mom: Guess what I found out, mom, my ex girlfriend is a whore. She's aleady pregnant by some asshole.

Pediatrician Office
Florida

Overheard by: Esmie

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-05-14
]]> http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013754.html http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/013754.html Mon, 14 May 2012 17:00:00 -0500