Overheard in the Office

And She's Part Mayan

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 11:00:00 -0500

Broker's assistant: What is today's date?
Current office manger: It's the 30th, according to Jennifer.

Gulfport, Mississippi

Overheard by: Office Manager In Training

]]>

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-02-09

But First We Reduce Him to Tears With Cross-Examination

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 10:00:00 -0500

Messenger: Hey, I'm just the messenger.
Receiver: Do you know where the phrase "Don't shoot the messenger" came from?
Messenger: Cause they use to shoot the messenger.
Receiver: You know why they still have that saying? Cause we still shoot the messenger.

Lyndhurst, New Jersey

]]>

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-02-09

We'll Also Hire a Chimp to Press Random Buttons, and See If That Helps.

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 09:00:00 -0500

Colleague, on phone to is help desk: Hi, I'd like to report that we haven't had access to the internet for two days now.
Help desk: Okay, we'll log it as an issue.
Colleague: What happens now?
Help desk: We'll report it to security to look at.
Colleague: And what will they do?
Help desk: They'll look at it.

Manchester, New Hampshire

]]>

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-02-09

...Using Duct Tape

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 17:00:00 -0500

Cube monkey #1: Who would've linked Paul McCartney and Renee Zellweger together?
Cube monkey #2: Kevin Bacon.

Las Vegas, Nevada

]]>

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-02-08

Just Hold Still, Mr. Senator.

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 16:00:00 -0500

Cube rat #1: These nuts taste old.
Cube rat #2: What did you just say?
Cube rat #1: Nothing.

Detroit, Michigan

]]>

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-02-08

Eventually the Boss Will Come Back from Vacation and Find Her in His Office

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:00:00 -0500

Lady screaming on cell in cubicle: And then I told him, "we are gonna go with that one!"
I know, it's like there's seven of us and we can't decide which nursing home to put mom in!

Chattanooga, Tennessee

]]>

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-02-08

And the Workplace Dynamics Consultant Swore By It.

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 14:00:00 -0500

Coworker to another: The group sex didn't change anything.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

]]>

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-02-08

Amazing How Men Die Before Women Do

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 13:00:00 -0500

Female coworker #1: Yeah, I didn't come into work the other day because I was bleeding so bad, I mean I was in the bathroom every hour changing my pad.
Female coworker #2: I know, I bleed extremely heavily! I'm in there at least every 20 minutes.
Female coworker #1: At least I'm not like Patti*, she was bleeding like the Niagra Falls. When I'm bleeding all over myself, I just don't feel like working.

Cecil County, Maryland

]]>

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-02-08

Does That Come with Itching and Peeling?

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 12:00:00 -0500

Woman on bus: You've gotta be careful in life and not let your mishaps turn into haps!

Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Evan

]]>

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-02-08

Too Late! Here's Your Gag.

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 11:00:00 -0500

Surveyor #1: Ray is top; I am bottom.
Surveyor #2: Uh...
Surveyor #1: Wait. that didn't come out right!

Rockville, Maryland

]]>

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-02-08

You Wanted the Beef a La Mode, Right?

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 10:00:00 -0500

Lady in large party: How can you remember all of this?
Waiter: The longer I stand here, the less I remember.

Restaurant
Placerville, California

]]>

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-02-08

So You Can Read It Aloud.

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 09:00:00 -0500

50-year-old female #1: Oh my god! You have to hear this! (reads entire e-mail aloud)
40 year-old female #2: Oh my god!
50-year-old female #1: I know!
40 year-old female #2: Oh my god!
50-year-old female #1: I'm forwarding it to you now.

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: NoRest4TheWicked

]]>

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-02-08

Makes Me Want to Bust a Click-and-Move

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 17:00:00 -0500

Suit #1: Yo, you tried that new Office?
Suit #2: What?
Suit #1: That new Microsoft Office 2008, 2009 or whatever.
Suit #2: Yeah.
Suit #1: That shit is hot!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: algernon

]]>

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-02-05

I'm So Glad We Can Talk Like This.

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 16:00:00 -0500

Executive in meeting: Oh, you brought cold water?
Assistant: Yes, ice water.
Executive: Very nice! Where'd you find ice?
Assistant: In the freezer.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Christine

]]>

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-02-05

Weirdest. Fortune Cookie. Ever.

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 15:00:00 -0500

Salesman: You can't beat a good piñata day.

Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: humanoid answering machine

]]>

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-02-05