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3PM ...Fine, "Marketing"-- Whatever
Customer service rep: I'm at work, I don't need to hear about your whore activities!
Fort Mill, South Carolina
2PM The First Stage Of Work Grief Is Denial
Coworker receiving work back that wasn't done properly: No way! I know I did it right! I must have a computer virus. Maybe I need a defrag? There's no way I had errors! I triple checked it!
York, Pennsylvania
1PM At Least the Sex Was Over Quickly
Coworker #1: I am so tired.
Coworker #2: Why?
Coworker #1: The plowing all night kept me up. It was louder than normal and I wish it didn't last so long.
Woburn, Massachusetts
11AM Management Has a Strict Policy Against Workplace Flings.
Office drone: A monkey could do my job. At least he'd be able to fling poo when he heard a stupid idea.
Phoenix, Arizona
10AM Again, We Understand Why Our Submitter Sent This In
Coworker to IT chick: Thanks for you help today. I don't know what we'd do without you and your equipment.
Leesburg, Virginia
9AM D...D...Don't Hurt Me, Ma'am!
Smoking woman to woman parking her car: You came in the out! That's bad, you can't do that.
Woman in car: Are you police?
Smoking woman, with authority: No, but I'm a postal worker.
Post Office Parking Lot
Massachusetts
5PM We're Obviously Positioned for Success
Owner of new business: What is this? (pulling out drawer in table)
Employee: A drawer.
Owner: What is it for?
Employee: Putting stuff in.
Greensboro, North Carolina
4PM ...Hug It Out?
Sales boss: Will you please tell John* not to get discouraged?
Salesman #1: Don't be discouraged! You're going to get this renewal!
Salesman #2 (John*): No, I just don't think it's going to happen.
Salesman #1: Fine, then just go in the bathroom and slit your wrists!
Boss: (gives salesman #1 angry look)
Salesman #1: What?! I'm trying to be a team player!
Manhattan, New York
3PM The Animals Called It That?
Old male doc with English as a second language: Are you married?
20-something woman with UTI: Yes.
Old male doc: Do you have... relationship... in the last 48 hours?
20-something woman: Ah... um... no?
Old male doc: Okay. They used to call this the animal infection.
Doctor's Office
Maryland
Overheard by: Poor girl
2PM You Always Were, Edna. You Always Were.
Constipated coworker, explaining to owner why she was off work for five days: I couldn't go to the bathroom, so they gave me this medicine. Haha! I guess you could say I really am full of shit now!
Shrewsbury, Pennsylvania
1PM If It Was Good Enough for Elvis, It Should Be Good Enough for You.
Black female security guard: Sir, you need to leave the building.
Black hobo: Why?
Black female security guard: Sir, you need to leave the building.
Black hobo: Why?
Black female security guard, a little more sternly: Sir, you need to leave the building, please.
Black hobo: Why? Because I'm black?
Black female security guard: Sir, I'm black, too. You need to leave the building.
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Uncle Cake
11AM I Don't Like Your Youngest a Bit
(customer puts a nickel in the tip jar, walks away)
Barista, yelling after him: Oh thanks, man! That'll help me feed my six kids!
Los Angeles, California
10AM How to Clear Out the Men's Room in Three Words
Tall employee at urinal: Hey, you know the cool thing about being tall? I can look over the divider.
Short employee at urinal: (silence)
Tall employee: Hey, little buddy!
Chattanooga, Tennessee
9AM Your Editors' Heads All Just Exploded
Staffing employee: Hey, Kurt*, I don't know if we're allowed to fill this position. It involves using air guns and "other vibratory tools." Do you think that's a restricted task?
Clueless boss: I don't know, you might want to check with risk management. I mean, all that vibrating might cause a problem for your hand.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
