2PM Hopefully God's Too Busy Helping People Win Grammys to Care

Office girl: Praise god! Prayer works!
Born again Christian coworker: Hell yeah!
Office girl: Huh?
Born again Christian coworker: Sorry.

Aiea, Hawaii

Overheard by: Girl hiding behind her monitor


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1PM Really Cut Into My Solitaire Time, But It Was Worth It.

Office lady: I kept the Crock-Pot under my desk and stirred the meatballs all day.

Charlotte, North Carolina

Overheard by: Scared of the foot food


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12PM How You Know Your Photographers Don't Have Enough Work to Do

Photographer #1: It doesn't need to be sucked that hard.
Photographer #2: Yes, it does.
Photographer #3: I am more about friction then suction.

Studio
Culver City, California


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11AM Not Porn-- Just Hot and Sweaty Men Patting Each Other's Asses.

Marketing freak #1: It's like porn.
Marketing freak #2: Haha... Yeah. It is, I like it.
CEO's assistant: Porn?
Marketing freak #3: Yeah, Sports Illustrated. Have you seen it?

Itasca, Illinois

Overheard by: Walking through an Origy


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10AM Had To--Soiled Myself

Minister: At least I know where I'm going when I die... Heaven.
Drunk worker: Yeah, I'm going there too.
Minister: You gotta change first.
Drunk worker: I know, I just did...

Jacksonville, Florida

Overheard by: Derrick McClure


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9AM Ma'am, You May Need More Services Than I Can Provide

Operator: See that subject line? How am I supposed to know that that means?
Perturbed developer: You can open it up and read the e-mail.
Operator: Then I'd have to open multiple e-mails.
Perturbed developer: Yes, you can do that. You can open multiple e-mails.

Campus Office
St. Louis, Missouri


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5PM I Shouldn't Need a Fork to Consume It.

Boss: Who made the coffee this morning?
Underling, defensively: Why?

Navy Yard
Washington, DC


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4PM And Thailand Laughed So Hard a Roll Came Out

Coworker #1: So, what is a Thai roll?
Coworker #2: Well, Thailand is a country...
Coworker #3, laughing: Oops, I just farted...I laughed so hard a fart came out.

Bethpage, New York

Overheard by: Gette


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3PM Now Tell Me the Account Number.

Exec, yelling over speakerphone: Michelle, what's my PayPal password?
Michelle: Michelle2.
Exec, still yelling: Michelle2?
Michelle: Yep.

Manhattan, New York


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2PM ...And I've Been Smoking Out.

Supervisor: How was the soup the clients brought?
Worker: Didn't you get any?
Supervisor: I had a lot of work and by the time I got there it was sublimed.
Worker: "Sublimed"?
Supervisor: Yeah, I used the wrong word. That happens a lot when I'm stressed off.

Culver City, California


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1PM Angelina Jolie Finally Breaks Down.

Boss to office: I don't even want you guys, I just want pets.

Berkeley, California


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12PM Oh, You Mean the Fruity Kind?

Peon: Oh, you're going downstairs? Can I get a fag yogurt?
Manager: A... what?
Peon: A fag yogurt. (pause) Well, it's spelled f-a-g-e but we pronounce it the other... way. It's kind of... funny. (long pause) Am I fired?

Manhattan, New York


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11AM So Definitely Not the Psychedelic-Swirl Sheets?

Worker bee #1: If only the sheets weren't green...
Counselor: Maybe blue sheets?
Worker bee #2: What's wrong with green? They've been green sheets for years! You could leave tomorrow and we'd be stuck with pink sheets!
Worker bee #1: No, I don't like pink, they wouldn't be pink. Also, where am I going?
Worker bee #2: I don't know!
(pause)
Worker bee #1
: Maybe something sassy...

Counselor: Well, I'm feeling lightheaded now.

Greensboro, North Carolina

Overheard by: student worker


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10AM And the Teeth to Chew It With.

Guy #1: Man, I wish we had one of those things. You know, you put money in and food comes out?
Guy #2: Vending machine?
Guy #1: Yeah. Right.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Scott


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