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2PM Hopefully God's Too Busy Helping People Win Grammys to Care
Office girl: Praise god! Prayer works!
Born again Christian coworker: Hell yeah!
Office girl: Huh?
Born again Christian coworker: Sorry.
Aiea, Hawaii
Overheard by: Girl hiding behind her monitor
1PM Really Cut Into My Solitaire Time, But It Was Worth It.
Office lady: I kept the Crock-Pot under my desk and stirred the meatballs all day.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: Scared of the foot food
12PM How You Know Your Photographers Don't Have Enough Work to Do
Photographer #1: It doesn't need to be sucked that hard.
Photographer #2: Yes, it does.
Photographer #3: I am more about friction then suction.
Studio
Culver City, California
11AM Not Porn-- Just Hot and Sweaty Men Patting Each Other's Asses.
Marketing freak #1: It's like porn.
Marketing freak #2: Haha... Yeah. It is, I like it.
CEO's assistant: Porn?
Marketing freak #3: Yeah, Sports Illustrated. Have you seen it?
Itasca, Illinois
Overheard by: Walking through an Origy
10AM Had To--Soiled Myself
Minister: At least I know where I'm going when I die... Heaven.
Drunk worker: Yeah, I'm going there too.
Minister: You gotta change first.
Drunk worker: I know, I just did...
Jacksonville, Florida
Overheard by: Derrick McClure
9AM Ma'am, You May Need More Services Than I Can Provide
Operator: See that subject line? How am I supposed to know that that means?
Perturbed developer: You can open it up and read the e-mail.
Operator: Then I'd have to open multiple e-mails.
Perturbed developer: Yes, you can do that. You can open multiple e-mails.
Campus Office
St. Louis, Missouri
5PM I Shouldn't Need a Fork to Consume It.
Boss: Who made the coffee this morning?
Underling, defensively: Why?
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
4PM And Thailand Laughed So Hard a Roll Came Out
Coworker #1: So, what is a Thai roll?
Coworker #2: Well, Thailand is a country...
Coworker #3, laughing: Oops, I just farted...I laughed so hard a fart came out.
Bethpage, New York
Overheard by: Gette
3PM Now Tell Me the Account Number.
Exec, yelling over speakerphone: Michelle, what's my PayPal password?
Michelle: Michelle2.
Exec, still yelling: Michelle2?
Michelle: Yep.
Manhattan, New York
2PM ...And I've Been Smoking Out.
Supervisor: How was the soup the clients brought?
Worker: Didn't you get any?
Supervisor: I had a lot of work and by the time I got there it was sublimed.
Worker: "Sublimed"?
Supervisor: Yeah, I used the wrong word. That happens a lot when I'm stressed off.
Culver City, California
1PM Angelina Jolie Finally Breaks Down.
Boss to office: I don't even want you guys, I just want pets.
Berkeley, California
12PM Oh, You Mean the Fruity Kind?
Peon: Oh, you're going downstairs? Can I get a fag yogurt?
Manager: A... what?
Peon: A fag yogurt. (pause) Well, it's spelled f-a-g-e but we pronounce it the other... way. It's kind of... funny. (long pause) Am I fired?
Manhattan, New York
11AM So Definitely Not the Psychedelic-Swirl Sheets?
Worker bee #1: If only the sheets weren't green...
Counselor: Maybe blue sheets?
Worker bee #2: What's wrong with green? They've been green sheets for years! You could leave tomorrow and we'd be stuck with pink sheets!
Worker bee #1: No, I don't like pink, they wouldn't be pink. Also, where am I going?
Worker bee #2: I don't know!
(pause)
Worker bee #1: Maybe something sassy...
Counselor: Well, I'm feeling lightheaded now.
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: student worker
10AM And the Teeth to Chew It With.
Guy #1: Man, I wish we had one of those things. You know, you put money in and food comes out?
Guy #2: Vending machine?
Guy #1: Yeah. Right.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Scott
