Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
10AM Yours Is Much Thicker, Though.
Dude: I just got back from waxing my board.
Receptionist: Oh, yeah? I noticed your board is long, like my husband's. Must be because you're both tall.
University Avenue
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: that's what she said
9AM Next to This Cunning Drawing of a Confused Bird
Grad student: How was the meeting?
Neurology professor: It was great, and this time I took really good notes, see? Right here I wrote, "Why is the neurons are gone?"
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
5PM Like Stimulants and Depressants?
Female suit to employee: I'm a weird person and I'm in a weird mood today, so you'd think they'd cancel each other out.
Iowa City, Iowa
4PM Though I Do Know Enough Not to Call Somebody "a Mix"
Office drone #1: Hey, did you know the new guy was a mix? Yeah, he's half Haitian and half Mexican.
Office drone #2: Really, no way!
Office drone #1: Yeah, really!
Office drone #2: Hmmm, shows what I know about people, I thought he was white.
Madison Ave
New York City, New York
3PM Outside of a Phish Concert
Developer, cleaning out fridge: Wow, I've never seen pink mold before!
Peoria, Illinois
Overheard by: only girl in an office of men...
2PM You've Typed the Word "Boobies" 57 Times
Cubemate to another: You know, I am thinking and typing at the same time...
Jersey City, New Jersey
1PM Wait 'Til She Launches Into "There's No Business Like Flow Business"
Employee, singing on the way down the hall: I need to change my tammmmmponnnnn
Coalinga, California
12PM I Know You've Never Heard Yourself
Temp #1: I have great hearing! Remember the test we'd take in school?
Temp #2: Yeah.
Temp #1: I remember one time you heard that girl, it was on half a zero and I heard it.
Cedar Place
Valhalla, New York
Overheard by: evildead
11AM Who Buries a Dead Cat?
Loud office coworker a few cubes over: Why don't they make a big belt buckle out of it?
Greenwood Village, Colorado
Overheard by: Probably they shouldn't
10AM That, and All the Erotic Pastry Sex.
Male coworker: What's up with everybody being sick right now?
Female coworker: Seriously! I was sick a few days ago and went to the walk-in clinic. The doctor gave me an antibiotic but I didn't take it. I gave it to my husband because he's sick too.
Male coworker: What do you mean you didn't take it? Why are you being non-compliant with treatment?
Female coworker: Well, this is probably TMI, but I can't take antibiotics. They give me yeast infections.
Columbus, Indiana
Overheard by:
9AM I Like the Cut of Your Jib--You're Hired!
Interviewer: On a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being the lowest, and 10 being the highest...
Interviewee (interrupting): Do you ever do 1 as the highest and 10 as the lowest?
Interviewer: No, I really like 10 as the highest.
Interviewee, thoughtfully: Yeah, I do too...
Omaha, Nebraska
5PM And Suddenly the Judge Is Telling Me I'm in Contempt?
Attorney: Seamen. (employees chuckle in their cubicles). I just want to say the name.
Wall Street
New York City, New York
4PM What Happens When You Moonlight As a Really Cheap Stripper
Boss, muttering to himself as he walks away: Now, how did I get pennies down there?
New Haven, Connecticut
3PM From the American Gladiators Porno
Office clerk #1: Where did you put the batteries?
Office clerk #2: They go right here on the pole.
Office clerk #1: Wow! I like the long pole...look at it squirt!
Columbus Avenue
Lebanon, Ohio
Overheard by: Did I hear that right?
