Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
1PM I'll Bet He's Got an Incredibly Tasty Brain
CSR: And my four-year-old was over at the church petting zoo telling the volunteers the graveyard was full of zombies that will eat everyone's brains.
Manager: You have a cool kid.
Burnsville, Minnesota
Overheard by: Smoking Break
11AM ...Who Says I'm Not Management Material?
Cubicle dweller to another: We should have carpooled in together today so that you could drive me home drunk.
Dallas, Texas
10AM I'm Guessing It's Either Larry, Moe, or Curly-- But Which One?
Office hoochie on cell: You need to call him and find out who is the source of all the knuckleheadedness.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
9AM Uptown Girls Rarely Come Downtown
Male middle manager on phone: You did it? (pause) You came!
Lower Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: badTiming...
5PM ...But Why Am I Telling This to a Purple Stegosaurus?
Detective #1, walking away from meeting with chief: Man,where do you come up with some of this shit?
Detective #2: There were a couple summers in the 70s when I thought LSD was a vitamin.
Manhattan, New York
4PM ...I'll Probably Need a Short Nap to Recover.
Manager, finishing excruciatingly long presentation: Wow, I just way overblew my load!
Renton, Washington
3PM Best. Job. Ever!
Employee, moving into new office holding up jar of green seeds: Is this marijuana?
Vienna, Virginia
2PM Your Editors Are Now Conducting Interviews
Office lady to another: I don't care if he's married. I would make a great step wife. Wait, is that even a thing? A step wife?
Chicago, Illinois
1PM All Of Pinocchio's Girlfriends Feel This Way.
Ex-Raiders cheerleader boss: Ugh! I can't stand the taste! It's like licking wood.
Burbank, California
11AM ...Insider Trading Is Illegal.
Office dude to another: Get out of me!
Waco, Texas
10AM ...How's Your Squash Game These Days?...What??
Boss: That guy was a stud. And he liked it. He enjoyed it. And I was in pain for days!
Louisiana
Overheard by: That's not right
9AM ...And Do You Think You Could Get Me John Leguizamo's Autograph?
CSR, on customer welcome call: Is your last name Valdez?
Customer: Yes, it is.
CSR, on customer welcome call: Is your father Juan Valdez? You can say you have a famous father!
Troy, Michigan
Overheard by: Mortgage Whisperer
5PM ...Also, You Just Said "Hard Data." Hee!
Office worker #1: But we don't have any hard data for that.
Office worker #2: Don't worry, we'll just make up some numbers for the presentation.
Plano, Texas
4PM Perhaps the Only One in San Francisco
New recruiter: I really am hoping to get that spreadsheet from you so that I can finalize mine.
Contract recruiter: Wow. You're organized.
New recruiter: I am an anal nut.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Matt
