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3PM Sometimes Our Submitters Are the Ugly Ones
Particularly unattractive coworker to the room: How do you spell "ugly"?
Medfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Y...O...
2PM Where Can I Get It Serviced?
Woman, about phone: My vibrator's not really working.
Man: What?
South Glens Falls
New York
1PM After a Few More Hits Of This Blunt
Jamaican contractor: Hey, have some coconut.
White employee: No, man, I'm full.
Jamaican contractor: Dude, this is a coconut. It doesn't matter how full you are.
Edmonton
Canadia
12PM Except at Tax Time, It's Easy to Resent Your Dependents
Visiting techie on phone: What's wrong with the clock? Is it plugged in? Well, move the fridge then... I can, but I'm two-and-a-half hours away...
Texas
11AM So We Could Stalk Our Ex-Boyfriends Online?
Office lady to another: And that's why I think god created technology.
Puyallup, Washington
10AM I'm Slightly Nauseated, but Intrigued
Drone to another: I have something that may tie up your loose end.
Kansas City, Missouri
9AM They're Notoriously Unreliable Employees, Though
Boss to office drone: Your monkey should be working.
Denver, Colorado
5PM Ah, Gonorrhea.
Coworker #1: I can't believe we didn't catch that last time!
Coworker #2: We did... and laughed at it.
Manhattan, New York
4PM Says the Girl Named Gina?
Coworker #1: What should I name my font?
Coworker #2: What about Kont?
Coworker #1: Ew!
Coworker #2: What? Oh, "Kont" sounds like" cunt."
Coworker #1: That just happened. Gross!
California
Overheard by: g$
3PM Janeane Garofalo.
Coworker: On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Houston, Texas
2PM Kindly Avert Your Eyes
Supervisor: Hey, do you mind training a new hire and going over some calls?
Employee: Sure, let me just put away my taco.
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: CDB
1PM That's Not What You Said at the Office Holiday Party
Irate phone salesgirl: You are putting words in my mouth, and you do not know me well enough to be putting anything in my mouth!
Chicago, Illinois
12PM ...My Solid Waste Of a Career
Woman carrying takeout lunch: This bag is fully biodegradable and compostable... like my career!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Rose Fox
11AM Does That Come with a Pay Increase?
Disney peon #1, discussing Jonas Brothers project: "You've just been Jo-Bro'd" sounds so obscene.
Disney peon #2: Yeah, and the tag line is, "packed with more Jonas than you've ever seen."
(ten minutes later)
Disney peon #3, walking up: I feel like my brain is running out my ears.
Disney peons #1 & #2: You've just been Jo-Bro'd!
Burbank, California
