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3PM Didn't You Promise Your Parole Officer You'd Keep Your Nose Clean?
Office worker, breezing past receptionist's desk: Hi!
Receptionist, furiously rubbing nose: Got an itchy nose, wanna fight?
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Spydoggie
2PM Worst. Pez Dispenser. Ever.
Office clerk: Woo! I got candy in *my* box!
Chattanooga, Tennesee
Overheard by: Wishing her box was as sweet
1PM It's So Sweet That You Believed Them
Young stylist: Well, most men don't understand there are different types of orgasms. Some can't get them from anything but oral.
Boss: Yeah, I have been that first guy for many girls.
Charlotte, North Carolina
12PM Though I Knew How to Walk in the Shoes Properly
COO: So my son, his sisters have started dressing him up in their clothes and their mother's high heels. I'll come home and he's clomping around in those shoes, and jewelry and a dress!
Openly gay office manager: That used to happen to me too!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
11AM ...Drooling.
CSR, about music video: When you watch the video you'll see two chicks making out. I'm to the left of them.
Atlanta, Georgia
10AM And I'm Trying to Get Ahead Of the Curve
Coworker: There's no way I can help you out this week, I've just been undulated with work lately.
Spring Garden St
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
9AM How Will You Say "Good Morning" to the Boss?
Coworker to another, fresh out of reconstructive shoulder surgery: You can't even flip people off. There is nothing more pathetic than a man who cannot raise his middle finger.
Financial District
Manhattan, New York
5PM Tonight on Cinemax: Executive Session
Reporter, explaining "executive session" privilege to another: The mayor could fuck a donkey in executive session, and they wouldn't have to tell me. But if she does it in the regular session, I'll be all over it.
Weatherford, Texas
Overheard by: Roxie
4PM Do I Have to Explain Snow Angels to You Again?
Cube dweller, looking at pictures of snow: Jesus lives in Buffalo!
Austin, Texas
3PM Australian Business Customs: The Short Course
Female boss: Guys will be swapping body fluids more than anyone else!
Mitchelton
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: Beka
2PM The History Channel Causes Another Office Feud
Accountant: By the way, fuck Betsy Ross.
Santa Monica, California
1PM Have Mercy on Us, People.
Oblivious mail worker bee: Hey, Bob*. You have a really large package!
Manager, trying not to laugh: Wow. Uh, I'm not going to touch that one.
Oblivious mail worker bee: I don't blame you! If you need some help carrying that, let me know.
Sandy, Utah
12PM ...Or We'll Think You Hate Freedom.
Office manager: Dude, you can't stick boobs on your drawers.
Canberra
Australia
11AM How Is It That You Have That and I Don't?
30-something guy: How is it that you have his cell phone number and I don't?
30-something gal: I called him last month when I needed his sperm.
South Bend, Indiana
Overheard by: Eh, what?
