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5PM Of a Doubleheader?
Sales girl, shouting to assistant: I told him I would just drink and drive the whole time, and maybe play the back end.
28th Street
New York City, New York
4PM These Aren't Sufficiently LensCrafty
Woman wearing glasses straining to read document: Ugh! I need glasses.
San Diego, California
3PM I Can Probably Make It to the River
Large woman looking in bathroom stall: Lord, I can't even fit in there! I'm just gonna hold it.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
2PM Tonight's Movie: Office Spaces
Female estimator: My boss is going to deep dive me on this tomorrow. He knows where all my holes are.
Everett, Washington
1PM Can You Ask Derek in Accounting If He Wants to Join Me?
Female coworker: You're my best friend and I love you and all but I just really don't want to Wikipedia Greek porn with you ever again.
Male coworker: It's not porn, it's art! They're etchings.
Female coworker: Whatever. Ewwww.
Male coworker: Seriously. Wow. Ewww. (looks around room) Ummm, yeah, I think I need to go cry in the executive shower.
McKemmy
Chandler, Arizona
12PM More Like a Donkey Punch, Really
Female Facebook coworker: My old professor just Facebooked me.
Male non-Facebook coworker: That sounds wrong. Is that like a dirty Sancho or something?
Female Facebook coworker: It's Sanchez. And no.
Wacker Drive
Chicago Illinois
Overheard by: Hear No Evil
11AM Or Are You Still Pounding It Out?
Editor to legal reporter: Did you write the story about whether sex was a major life activity?
Crystal City, Virginia
10AM Preschool Admissions Criteria Get More Daunting by the Day
Serious nurse: ...but, I'd be lying if I said bloodlust didn't have a lot to do with it.
Hospital
Manchester, Tennessee
Overheard by: Mouse
9AM Unless There's Cake. Unless There's Cake
Woman on intercom: David*, to the back office. David*, to the back office, please.
David*on intercom: No, I don't want to. No, I don't want to.
Kinko's
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: The Flying Aspidistra
5PM At the Regional Conference of Elementary School Teachers
Director to underling: So you're trying to tell me that you work in this industry and you don't have an alcohol or substance-abuse problem!?
Broadway
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Garrett
4PM Even Though He'll Probably Go Apeshit
Manager to worker on phone with customer: Tell him we ain't got a monkey, and don't know when the stock's coming in.
Hemel Hempstead
England
Overheard by: Do we sell monkeys?
3PM You're Not Properly Formatted
(coworker is walking down the corridor with 3-D glasses on)
Girl: That's a bit odd. Does he realize he's only going to see things in color, not in 3-D?
Guy: You didn't just say that.
Girl: What?
Guy: Well, how many dimensions do you think I am?
Girl: One.
Portland, Oregon
2PM I Totally Respect the Fact That We'll Never Speak Again
Female coworker #1: I just don't trust people who are openly trying to tear me down.
Female coworker #2: Probably a good instinct.
Big Beaver
Troy, Michigan
1PM "Candy Left Over from Christmas" Is So Much Less Exciting Now
Boss to secretary: You know what I still have?
Secretary: Herpes.
Boss: Uh, err, get back to work!
Mullica Hill Road
Glassboro, New Jersey
