Office brute, 15 minutes late to sexual harassment seminar, to female instructor: Sorry, darlin', I hope I didn't miss anything.
Austin, Texas
Drafting dork: Hey, do you have any binder clips?
Female coworker: Why?
Drafting dork: I want to clip them to my nipples.
Boca Raton, Florida
Overheard by: I'mNotHazel
Woman #1: I want a boy! How do I make a boy?
Woman #2: Like a baby?
Woman #1: Yeah, like a baby boy.
Woman #3: Well, my cousin did it! There's one way to get a girl, and another way to make a boy. I can ask him if you want.
Manhattan, New York
Male employee #1: What did you bring for lunch today?
Male employee #2: A salami sandwich.
Male employee #1: That's it? You can't just have salami as your main meat! You can garnish with salami, but you have to have other meat.
Des Moines, Iowa
Temp, yelling to fax machine: If you would have sucked it right, there wouldn't be a problem!
Fayetteville, North Carolina
Boss to pregnant employee: Yeah, but it's not like you're growing the baby in your ass!
Calgary
Canadia
Excited coworker: I have to tell you a story about Jackson.
Surly coworker: Wait, is Jackson your dog?
Excited coworker, excitedly: Yes!
Surly coworker: I have to go. (walks out of the room)
Mississauga
Canadia
Overheard by: Snowmageddon
Cubicle drone: Oh my gosh, I have cheese everywhere!
Raleigh, North Carolina
Bank customer: As I sat down on the toilet I heard this sickening snap.
Bank teller: So you need a replacement ATM card?
Wellington
New Zealand
Overheard by: Sara
Employee: So, you just cut the head off...
Sydney
Australia
Worker: So, what did the phone company says about the phone line?
Boss: I don't know. The robot pick up the phone! I hate talking to a robot, so I hung up.
Greenwich Village
Manhattan, New York
Woman #1: What are you doing for New Year's?
Woman #2: I don't have any plans yet, what about you?
Woman #1: Probably just sit at home and drink some wine.
Woman #2: Yeah, I did that last year, and I accidentally got completely bombed in front of my son, so I'm not doing that again.
Manhattan, New York
Server #1 : So...yeah, I'm going on a cruise to Hawaii.
Server #2: Oh, wow, where are you leaving from?
Server #1: Florida.
Server #2: That's a really long cruise.
Server #1: No, it's not! They're practically right next to each other!
Twinsburg, Ohio
Coworker: I don't have a listing for anyone, period. Okay, wait...that is a lie. I have listings, just not like on a list or anything.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rusty