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4PM How You Been, Montezuma?
Suit on cell in bathroom stall: I'm in the crapper, takin' a dump and I was thinking about you, so I thought I'd call.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
3PM Is It Just Me or Do They Both Sound Like Superhero Names?
Employee: Hi.
Receptionist (without looking up): Hi.
(employee walks behind desk)
Receptionist (still not looking) What are you doing?
Employee: Shredding.
Receptionist (looks up confused): What?
Employee (turns on machine): Wow, your shredder is really slow.
Receptionist: That's the laminator.
San Jose, California
Overheard by: Walking to the Bathroom
2PM But It Was a Booby Prize in Every Way
Faculty member: Her chest looked like it was being displayed as first prize at a raffle.
Notre Dame, Indiana
Overheard by: iz
1PM Um, Remember When You Asked to Borrow My Little Comb?
Lady #1: My dad doesn't have crabs anymore.
Lady #2: Oh, really?
Lady #1: Yeah, they all died.
Lady #3: Like pet crabs, right? Otherwise that's a little too much information.
Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Who would know that about their dad!?
12PM Dissertations Have Been Based on Less
Gentleman in office: Hand jobs are nothing new. They've been around for centuries. You could just sit around and wonder how many hand jobs Anne Boleyn performed.
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: tacomeat
11AM Or Just Spit on Them, Like I Did With Your Soup?
Customer: Could you bring some crackers for him? (points to toddler)
Waiter: Sure, do you want me to crumble them up and throw them on the floor for him too?
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
10AM Actually, Can You Also Burn Me a CD?
Coworker #1: Do you want this document spf-ed?
Coworker #2: Do mean pdf-ed?
Coworker #1: Yeah, why, what did I say?
Coworker #2: Sfp.
Ellicott City, Maryland
9AM All Up in This Cubicle
White clerk: I'm feeling kind of black today.
Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Db's Mom
5PM Whatever, Ed
Secretary: I have to wear this scarf over my shirt because the shirt is made for women with cleavage. But since I don't have any, I wear the scarf. All my cleavage is in my butt!
Wenatchee, Washington
4PM Ever Considered Beano?
Irish trader: There are always girls crying and falling over when I haven't even touched them.
New York City, New York
3PM Phone Sex Needs to Be Surreptitious When There Are Children Around
School administrator on phone: Hello. Has my cat peed yet? Great!
Elite Prep School
California
2PM He and Roy Orbison Stalk Her Nightmares Like Tag Team Wrestlers
Manager: Sorry I'm late. I was upstairs looking for pictures of Conway Twitty to print and scare Marie with. He's her Freddie Kruger.
Kanawha Boulevard West
Charleston, West Virginia
Overheard by: CubReporter
1PM You'd Think Library Staffs Have Poor Social Skills, or Something
Librarian: I just don't understand why he still works here. I mean, wouldn't you feel bad about yourself if nobody gives a crap how your New Year was?
Garden City, New York
Overheard by: Soapnana
12PM Then She'll Say "Stop Eating Your Ferns"
Factory worker: It's great, you know. I can go to my doctor and say stuff like: "This stuff is green, and it's making me sick."
Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Anonymous Temp
