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1PM Here's Your Chance to Learn How to Sew
Coworker to son: It's just a scratch, stop being so gay and rub some damn Neosporin on it. Get over it!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: George
11AM And It's Glazed!
Admin assistant to group of women: You should see the size of my muffin!
New Brunswick
Canadia
Overheard by: Frightened in Fredericton
10AM The Unkindest Paper Cut Of All
Office guy: Can I have one of your tampons?
Office girl: (stunned silence)
Office guy: Stamps! I meant stamps.
Quebec
Canadia
Overheard by: Bill
9AM Because... They Only Wear Them in Bed?
VP: I'd rather have a prostitute wear my shoes than a rich woman.
Burbank, California
Overheard by: Urz
5PM But You Don't Have AIDS
Office guy: I have to steal some condoms from my parents. (pause) Wait. Their brand probably doesn't work--they had me.
Manhattan, New York
4PM Don't Worry, He Still Brings the Thunder
Receptionist: The guy from unit #1 is here, he's have lightening problems.
Apartment handler: LIGHTENING PROBLEMS FROM HIS UNIT?
Receptionist: No, I mean lighting problems.
Real Estate Office
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Not Stepping in Water
3PM He Got Beaten to Death for Laughing at Those Ten Chicks-With-Dicks
Employee #1: Did you know that a baby is 10 times more likely to have both sets of genitalia than he is having Down's syndrome?
Employee #2: Really?
Employee #3: That's weird.
Employee #1: Yeah, I know. I used to know a kid who had Down's syndrome.
(pause)
Employee #3: What do you mean used to know? What, did he get better?
Sudbury, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Woofenstein Esq
2PM I Can Explain the Lawnmower
Manager #1: Should we have the meeting in your office?
Manager #2: No, it looks like a Sears-Roebuck exploded in there.
Burnaby
Canadia
Overheard by: Working Girl
1PM That Metaphor Has Some Holes in It.
Coworker, about another: She's smart as a doorknob, smart as a button.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Public Transit Bureaucrat
11AM More Than I Wanted to Know, Dude
30-something male: We used to play a game called "how many beers before you make a pass at Bea Arthur?"
40-something male: Two!
Government Office
Washington, DC
10AM As It Is, I Sleep Here
Male coworker to another: We need to squeeze that in today. Are you doable?
Kenilworth, New Jersey
9AM Almost Makes You Think
Male coworker: I'm real good with women. Women love me. I can handle a woman.
Female coworker: Okay...
Male coworker: But, you know, now that I think about it... Every time I've ever been stabbed has been because of a woman.
Female coworker: Okay... Well, that's... Okay.
Washington, DC
5PM If You Want the Job, Then You'll Kill This Puppy, and You'll Do It Right Now
Coworker #1: He can't do it, he says he can't punch it out that quick.
Coworker #2: You tell that asshole if I'll come down there and kick his ass, this is ridiculous! (pause) What's his number? I'll give him something to cry about!
Alexandria, Virginia
4PM Insert a quarter, and one of the Gibb Brothers comes out.
Boss: You're just jealous cause you get the water but not the disco dispenser.
Burnaby
Canadia
Overheard by: Working Girl
