Voyage.tv


12PM You've Always Struck Me As More Of a Swallower

Supervisor to staff member: Leave me alone or I will spit my nastiness on you.

Mclean, Virginia


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11AM Best. Slot Machine. Ever.

Web developer boss: Aww, I didn't get a dildo this time. That's sad.

Mesa, Arizona


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10AM I've Already Stuck a Little Flag in Mine!

Girl to friend: We'd take a day off to celebrate our box!

St. Louis, Missouri


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9AM But Your Call Is Important to Us, So Please Remain on the Swine

Man on cell: That's just the delay in copulating your pig.

Ithaca, New York

Overheard by: MonCree


Posted 2009-07-02 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

5PM I'm Working on Your Employee Evaluation

Loud American coworker in next cubicle: Are you a mammal?

University Research Centre
Sydney
Australia


Posted 2009-07-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

4PM They Tend to Cut Into My Boob-Watching Time

Admin on phone with engineer: Hello, it's me. (pause) At the desk. (pause) I know, what are you wearing? (pause) Haha...okay, we need to end this conversation, because I do not need to go to a seminar.

Boston, Massachusetts


Posted 2009-07-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

3PM Something Of a Stretch for Americans

Coworker #1: I'm on this new diet.
Coworker #2: Oh yeah?
Coworker #1: Yeah, it's this diet where if you aren't hungry you don't eat.

Bloomington, Minnesota


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2PM ...And Figure Out If They Need to Lose Weight.

Coworker: I just grab any woman who walks past--that's how I empower them!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: I've been on the receiving end.


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1PM Sometimes I Just Sit on Their Chests and Play Video Games

Student teaching CPR: They're unconscious. They won't know what's going on, so it's all good.

Leesburg, Virginia


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12PM There Go My Free Hot Dogs for Life

Man on phone: Okay. (pause) Well, can I speak to your supervisor? (pause) Hello? Can I speak to your supervisor? (pause) What's your name? (pause) Nathan? Nathan who? (pause) You there? Nathan who? (pause) Okay. Well, do you have some sort of employee number? (pause) Hello? (pause) Why? Because you're a dickhead! You're a fucking idiot, mate! (hangs up, talks to employee) Well, that didn't work.

Melbourne
Australia


Overheard by: James


Posted 2009-07-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

11AM She Should Enter a Neck-Wringing Competition and Win Money for Food

HR supervisor on phone: He called me the other day all worried because she was running out of food. I told him: she has all those animals and she likes to wring their necks...

Fontana, California

Overheard by: Aeirlys


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10AM That's What You Said About Using Your Intern As a Bench

Suit #1: Hey, did the DB team ever send you that data for your report?
Suit #2: No.
Suit #1: Can't you just make up the numbers?
Suit #2: I would, but I already made up 60% of the numbers in the report.
Suit #1: 60%?
Suit #2: Yeah, generally 40% of the numbers in a report have to be accurate. It's an accepted standard.

Cleveland, Ohio


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9AM ...And a Vagina Backpack.

Lackey: I'm secure in my masculinity. I can wear balls on my head.

Memphis, Tennesee

Overheard by: Rabbit


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5PM A Phenomenon I Refer to As The Streisand Syndrome

Manager to humming receptionist: You have a nice voice.
Receptionist: Yeah?
Manager: Well, not when you talk.

Scotts Valley, California

Overheard by: Mari


Posted 2009-06-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook