2PM Coffee's Very Stimulating

Male drone to female drone walking back to cubicle with a cup of coffee in each hand: Oh, double fisting. I like it!

San Jose, California

Overheard by: Veronica


Posted 2010-03-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

1PM Why Don't You Come Into the Breakroom with Me and Find Out

Coworker #1: I got an extra sausage which I haven't touched. Do you want it?
Coworker #2: Is that a pick-up line?

El Segundo, California


Posted 2010-03-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

12PM Have You Noticed My Guard Dog and Electric Fence?

Coworker #1 to coworker #2: I wish I was holding your Magoo.
Coworker #2: Ummm... I'm gonna leave you two alone.
Coworker #1: Close the door on your way out.
Coworker #2: You don't have a door, you have a cube.
Coworker #1: So... What's your point?

Milford, Connecticut


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11AM He Prefers to Be Called "Santa," by the Way

Boss to web developer: Didn't we do that site for... For... Ugh... You know... Dick bag motherfucker...
Web developer: Um... No... I don't remember doing anything for Dick Bag motherfucker.

Red Bank, New Jersey


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10AM Or We Could Just Expand Our Coverage to Baghdad

News guy working on obits: I never thought I'd see the day when we're out of dead people.
Traffic chick, during slow shift: Well, maybe someone will crash and solve both our problems!

Gainesville, Georgia


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9AM Regardless, Let's Wear Bikinis.

Dumb blonde #1: Is there a pool at the swim gym?
Dumb blonde #2: I think so...

Hastings
New Zealand


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5PM Heh, You Said "Electrical Arc"

Electrical foreman on radio to electrician: Okay, here goes.
Electrician: We've got a huge electrical arc goin' on here!
Electrical foreman: Well, don't touch it!
Electrician: Well, fuckin' duh! Er, I mean... 10-4.

Phoenix, Arizona


Posted 2010-03-15 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

4PM Viggo Mortensen!

Maintenance worker: Word association-- linoleum!

New Brunswick, New Jersey

Overheard by: Rhys


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3PM ...Kill All Humans?

Boss to office: What does a robotics team do?

Miami, Florida

Overheard by: stuck in cube neighbor hell


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2PM The Two Of Them Would Go on to Become Ear Buds for Life

Male sales VP, looking over sales rep's shoulder at computer: Oh yeah, I have that on my iTunes too: Quando, Quando, Quando, by Englebert Humperdink.
Male sales rep: Yeah, this is my gym mix.

Santa Barbara, California


Posted 2010-03-15 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

1PM Has the Millionaire Matchmaker Gotten Too Full Of Herself? Discuss.

Coworker to another: You should let him go first, he has a bigger one to pull out.

Los Angeles, California


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12PM You Can't Run and You Can't Hide, Guys

Consultant: Menopause is not a one-day thing!

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia


Overheard by: M@


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11AM More Like I Played Hockey with It-- Was That Wrong?

Secretary: My mouse stopped working.
Tech guy: Was this after you dropped it?
Secretary: Yes.

Public University
New Jersey


Overheard by: Clark W.


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10AM He Still Doesn't Do It as Homosexually As Possible, Though

Case worker: My husband was laying around like a little faggot last night.

Norristown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Spazzy


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