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12PM Frankly, I Think You Need a Break from Those Pasties, Earl
Manager of consultant team: Okay everyone, we're going into the office tomorrow.
Consultant: Aw man, that means we have to wear real clothes!
Mount Laurel, New Jersey
Overheard by: I hate that
11AM Enjoy Staring at Our "Closed" Sign, Ma'am
Customer: And what are your hours?
Leasing rep: We're open from 10 to 6.
Customer: So could I do 6:30?
Leasing rep: No, we close at 6.
Customer: Oh, okay, I guess that'll work then.
Randallstown, Maryland
Overheard by: tkap
10AM The DiCaprio Code Could Hardly Have Been Worse
Jen: Today is Leonardo Da Vinci's birthday.
Beth: Really? I guess he'll be going out to dinner with Gisele Bundchen. Oh wait, they broke up, didn't they?
Jen: [...]
Sylvan Way
Parsippany, New Jersey
Overheard by: Karen
9AM Three's Normal, Right?
Well-dressed 30-something woman: So my son was like: "Mom! There's this ball in my privates and it's moving around!" So I told him to talk to his father because I want nothing to do with this conversion. So he says: "Dad! There's this ball in my privates and it's moving around!" and my husband goes: "Yeah -'cause those are your balls. Women have boobs and men have balls and those are your balls! End of story."
Slightly horrified 20-something woman: Don't you think that will ultimately confuse him?
30-something woman: I know, right?! Anyway, it was so funny... [Laughs] Balls!
Providence, Rhode Island
5PM 2027: JetBlue Loses Brian's Body
Defiant executive: I busted up a funeral procession on my way back from lunch. Can't wait for that karma.
Wausau, Wisconsin
4PM Prepare for Your Troll Years, Sally
Coworker on the phone with her daughter: The days of getting free stuff just because you're cute are over.
County School Office
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Someone who's convinced those days are never over
3PM Curly Always Has to Go Up the Ladder
[Technicians installing a new system]
Technician #1: Ok, well it looks like we need to go up to the ceiling.
Technician #2: I'm going to go up the ladder.
Technician #3: You're going to go up the ladder?
Technician #1: You're going to go up the ladder?
Technician #2: I'm going to go up the ladder.
[Technician #2 goes up the ladder and takes some stuff apart]
Technician #2: Ok, so I think this one is the heating hose.
Technician #1: That one's the heating hose?
Technician #2: Yeah, this one's the heating hose.
Technician #3: Ok, I?m going to activate it. Whoosh.
Technician #2: Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off!
[Technician #3 turns it off]
Technician #2: Ok, that's the heating hose.
Enterprise Drive
Oak Brook, Illinois
2PM I'm Also Sorry for My Current Involuntary Venom Seepage
Co-worker made to apologize to client: I'm sorry I didn't have you on hold when I called you an asshole.
Marietta, Georgia
1PM Yours Is Like a Freaking Jack-in-the-Box, Though
Specialist peon to manager peon: It's 3:30 already? My thingy hasn't been popping up all day!
South Park Circle
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: I didn't know girls had thingies
12PM I Got Uncomfortable and Aborted the Conversation
Office chick #1: Wow, I didn't know *Lisa was so religious.
Office chick #2: Oh really, what kind of religion is she?
Office chick #1: I dunno, like Jesus and stuff.
CTI Building
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
11AM The Suicide Hotline Tries to Keep Callers Confused
Woman on phone: Well, do you want to sleep or do you want to die? You can't have it both ways.
Fort Worth, Texas
10AM Stupid Question, Stupider Answer
Clerk behind counter: Has anyone given you anything to carry on or placed anything in your bags that you aren't aware of?
Passenger: How would I know?
American Airlines Terminal
Kennedy Airport, New York
Overheard by: Paul V.
9AM Aesop's Later Work Fell a Bit Short
Pierced guy to friend: So the moral of the story is: "Don't fall asleep in Penn Station when Howie Mandel is around".
Tremont Street
Boston, Massachusetts
5PM Now, If You'd Just Be Kind Enough to Turn Your Back?
Eager coworker: I took a candy bar from you yesterday, but I didn't have a dollar. And I want to take one again today.
Wausau, Wisconsin
