Overheard in the Office2012-02-04T10:46:13ZThe Voice of the Cubicletag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2Movable TypeCopyright (c) 2012, Overheard in the OfficeIf he could impregnate you electronically, he would have.2012-02-04T10:46:13Z2012-02-03T22:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.136062012-02-03T22:00:00ZIndian man on voice mail: Hello, my name is Joe*. I am calling for my friend Alan Warren*. This is for Susan*. Please give Alan a call. He would like you to be the mother of his children.Philadelphia, Pennsylvania...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comIndian man on voice mail: Hello, my name is Joe*. I am calling for my friend Alan Warren*. This is for Susan*. Please give Alan a call. He would like you to be the mother of his children.
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Is That Tami*?2012-02-04T10:46:57Z2012-02-03T21:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.136052012-02-03T21:00:00ZDirector: Holy shit, come look at this.Sales manager: Is it that weird animal porn you keep talking about?Director: What?Sales manager: Nothing, I'm kidding, what is it?Director: I'm trying to get to a government website and this keeps happening...Sales manager: What...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comDirector: Holy shit, come look at this. Sales manager: Is it that weird animal porn you keep talking about? Director: What? Sales manager: Nothing, I'm kidding, what is it? Director: I'm trying to get to a government website and this keeps happening... Sales manager: What the fuck? Is that actually animal porn? Director: This pretty much ruined my day and I wanted to share it with you. Sales manager: Is that a fucking doberman? Director, to the rest of the office: Do not go to this website. You cannot un-see this shit!
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And I Hate Kelly2012-02-04T10:46:57Z2012-02-03T20:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.136042012-02-03T20:00:00ZDelivery man: Would you sign for this, ma'am?Office worker #1: Call Kelly and ask her to come down here and sign for it. It's her order.Office worker #2: Why don't you just sign for it?Office worker #1: My hands are...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comDelivery man: Would you sign for this, ma'am? Office worker #1: Call Kelly and ask her to come down here and sign for it. It's her order. Office worker #2: Why don't you just sign for it? Office worker #1: My hands are busy.
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The Dinosaurs Were Catholics, You Know2012-02-04T10:46:57Z2012-02-03T19:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.136032012-02-03T19:00:00ZOffice drone: Wow! My boss is angrier than a t-rex that just realized it can't masturbate!Nashville, Tennessee...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comOffice drone: Wow! My boss is angrier than a t-rex that just realized it can't masturbate!
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In the Meantime, Fetch Me My Ten-Foot Pole.2012-02-04T10:46:57Z2012-02-03T18:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.136022012-02-03T18:00:00ZSales rep, in the middle of staff meeting: I am recycling my list to make sure I touch everyone.Shrewsbury, Pennsylvania...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comSales rep, in the middle of staff meeting: I am recycling my list to make sure I touch everyone.
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I Have Several Lovely Tall Buildings I Could Recommend to You...2012-02-04T10:46:58Z2012-02-03T16:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.136012012-02-03T16:00:00ZApplications processor: Well, there are rules, like we won't pay if you kill yourself within the first two years of your policy. But after that you gotta do what ya gotta do.VirginiaOverheard by: if you're suicidal, hopefully you have great...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comApplications processor: Well, there are rules, like we won't pay if you kill yourself within the first two years of your policy. But after that you gotta do what ya gotta do.
Virginia
Overheard by: if you're suicidal, hopefully you have great willpower]]>
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...By Relabeling Them "Escorts"2012-02-04T10:46:58Z2012-02-03T15:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.136002012-02-03T15:00:00ZCOO: And the first thing I did was get rid of all the prostitutes.Newton Centre, Massachusetts...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comCOO: And the first thing I did was get rid of all the prostitutes.
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For Their Adorable Little Death Battles2012-02-04T10:46:58Z2012-02-03T14:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.135992012-02-03T14:00:00ZFemale coworker: It's a baby knife.Perplexed male coworker: It's a paring knife.Female coworker: No, it's a baby knife. For little babies!!Chico, California...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comFemale coworker: It's a baby knife. Perplexed male coworker: It's a paring knife. Female coworker: No, it's a baby knife. For little babies!!
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Well, what about a pencil?2012-02-04T10:46:58Z2012-02-02T22:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.135982012-02-02T22:00:00ZWorker on phone: Team Alpha*.Client: I'm calling about my emergency assistance.Worker: You would need to talk to the Emergency Assistance team about that, would you like the phone number?Client: Yeah, do you have a pen?Worker: Yes.Client: Oh, yeah, that's not...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comWorker on phone: Team Alpha*. Client: I'm calling about my emergency assistance. Worker: You would need to talk to the Emergency Assistance team about that, would you like the phone number? Client: Yeah, do you have a pen? Worker: Yes. Client: Oh, yeah, that's not gonna work, is it?
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IT People Are Heartless, Not Cruel2012-02-04T10:46:58Z2012-02-02T21:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.135972012-02-02T21:00:00ZCoworker, in response to request for user study participants: Have we figured out who it was that was crying at her desk when she was using the system? She may be a good person to add.Charlotte, North Carolina...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comCoworker, in response to request for user study participants: Have we figured out who it was that was crying at her desk when she was using the system? She may be a good person to add.
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Best. Career Advice. Ever.2012-02-04T10:46:58Z2012-02-02T20:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.135962012-02-02T20:00:00ZFemale vegetarian coworker to male office executive at lunch pizza party: Keep your sausages to yourself!Salt Lake City, Utah...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comFemale vegetarian coworker to male office executive at lunch pizza party: Keep your sausages to yourself!
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Pop-Tarts: Explained2012-02-04T10:46:58Z2012-02-02T19:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.135952012-02-02T19:00:00ZSenior VP of administration: Is it weird that I don't like to see my own poo.VP of operations: Wrap it in tin foil. That's what I do.Assistant to VP of operations: Put it in the toaster.Los Angeles, California...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comSenior VP of administration: Is it weird that I don't like to see my own poo. VP of operations: Wrap it in tin foil. That's what I do. Assistant to VP of operations: Put it in the toaster.
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Which, Granted, Is Kinda Hot2012-02-04T10:46:58Z2012-02-02T18:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.135942012-02-02T18:00:00ZWoman cube dweller: How many cups of coffee have you had already? It's only 9 am!Man cube dweller: Not sure... probably the equivalency of five or six, but I'm not real sure because once the cup is half empty I...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comWoman cube dweller: How many cups of coffee have you had already? It's only 9 am! Man cube dweller: Not sure... probably the equivalency of five or six, but I'm not real sure because once the cup is half empty I go and fill it again... Why... Why... Why? Woman cube dweller: Because you're racing... Man cube dweller: Yeah, not gonna lie starting to get the shakes a bit, and am tweaking... Woman cube dweller: Yeah, you're about to tweak all over your pants.
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Apparently Northern California, Too.2012-02-04T10:46:58Z2012-02-02T16:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.135932012-02-02T16:00:00ZCubicle dweller: It's well known that southern California seeks to use the backdoor as much as possible.Overland Park, Kansas...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comCubicle dweller: It's well known that southern California seeks to use the backdoor as much as possible.
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That's What You Said About "Who Let the Dogs Out?"!2012-02-04T10:46:58Z2012-02-02T15:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.135922012-02-02T15:00:00ZCoworker #1: No harm, no foul.Coworker #2: I've never heard that expression... Is it from basketball?Coworker #3: It's Shakespeare!Law LibraryAnn Arbor, Michigan...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comCoworker #1: No harm, no foul. Coworker #2: I've never heard that expression... Is it from basketball? Coworker #3: It's Shakespeare!