Overheard in the Office2012-05-16T20:01:03ZThe Voice of the Cubicletag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2Movable TypeCopyright (c) 2012, Overheard in the OfficeGM's Been Doing That for Years2012-05-16T20:01:03Z2012-05-16T20:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.137682012-05-16T20:00:00ZCool but nervous manager on conference call to big bosses: So you are having trouble with those bolts?Local manager: Yes, but we added oil and they worked better.Big boss: You are not authorized to use oil.Local manager: You ever tried...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comCool but nervous manager on conference call to big bosses: So you are having trouble with those bolts? Local manager: Yes, but we added oil and they worked better. Big boss: You are not authorized to use oil. Local manager: You ever tried to screw a dry hole? (momentary silence, then loud laughter) Local manager: Oh, shit!
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You're Just Too Young to Remember The Muppet Show2012-05-16T19:01:04Z2012-05-16T19:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.137672012-05-16T19:00:00ZShort white girl: Manamana.Tall white guy: Do-do, do-do-do.Short white girl: Manaman.Tall white guy: Do-do-do-do.Short white girl: Manamana.Tall white guy: Do-do, do-do-do, do-do, dah-do-do-do-do-do...Short white girl: Manamana!Black coworker: Crazy white folk... What the hell's wrong witchu two?Newark AirportNew Jersey...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comShort white girl: Manamana. Tall white guy: Do-do, do-do-do. Short white girl: Manaman. Tall white guy: Do-do-do-do. Short white girl: Manamana. Tall white guy: Do-do, do-do-do, do-do, dah-do-do-do-do-do... Short white girl: Manamana! Black coworker: Crazy white folk... What the hell's wrong witchu two?
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I Thought I Just Did.2012-05-16T18:01:03Z2012-05-16T18:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.137662012-05-16T18:00:00ZMale coworker: Want to go to a party later?Gullible female coworker: Really? You want me to come to a party with you? Is there a theme?Male coworker: Yes, it's a "pants party."Gullible female coworker: That sounds cool... What's a pants...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comMale coworker: Want to go to a party later? Gullible female coworker: Really? You want me to come to a party with you? Is there a theme? Male coworker: Yes, it's a "pants party." Gullible female coworker: That sounds cool... What's a pants party? Male coworker: It's a party in my pants, haha. Gullible female coworker: I really don't get it... What time are you going to pick me up?
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Red. ...No, Wait. Blue!2012-05-16T16:01:03Z2012-05-16T16:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.137652012-05-16T16:00:00ZCustomer service: Thank you for calling us, how can I help you?Patriotic driver: I have a question about my policy.Customer service: Alright, I'd be happy to answer that for you. Is this a personal or commercial policy?Patriotic driver: American.Customer service:...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comCustomer service: Thank you for calling us, how can I help you? Patriotic driver: I have a question about my policy. Customer service: Alright, I'd be happy to answer that for you. Is this a personal or commercial policy? Patriotic driver: American. Customer service: Ooooookay, let's start with your policy number.
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If One More Person Asks Me That Today...2012-05-16T15:01:03Z2012-05-16T15:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.137642012-05-16T15:00:00ZDesigner #1 to designer #2: My wife likes Justin Bieber.Designer #2, photoshopping pictures of people with justin bieber bangs: Want me to bang her?Indianapolis, Indiana...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comDesigner #1 to designer #2: My wife likes Justin Bieber. Designer #2, photoshopping pictures of people with justin bieber bangs: Want me to bang her?
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This Au Bon Pain Won't Become a Starbucks for at Least an Hour2012-05-16T14:01:04Z2012-05-16T14:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.137632012-05-16T14:00:00ZElderly woman: (hands cashier a Starbucks gift card)Cashier: Oh. I'm sorry, ma'am, but you can't redeem this here.Elderly woman: Why not? It has $25 on it.Cashier: Because this is a Starbucks card, and you are at Au Bon Pain. You...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comElderly woman: (hands cashier a Starbucks gift card) Cashier: Oh. I'm sorry, ma'am, but you can't redeem this here. Elderly woman: Why not? It has $25 on it. Cashier: Because this is a Starbucks card, and you are at Au Bon Pain. You have to use this at a Starbucks. Elderly woman: That's stupid. It's all coffee. Cashier: Yes, but it's a different company. Elderly woman: That's stupid. You're stupid. You and your stupid children. Cashier: Okay, ma'am. I don't have kids. Elderly woman: Well, you look like you had some stupid kids out of wedlock on and now all of you are on welfare. Cashier: Okay, ma'am. Please leave.
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...Have You Heard One Of Us Is Gonna Get the Shaft?2012-05-16T10:46:00Z2012-05-15T22:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.137622012-05-15T22:00:00ZIT guy, out of the blue: Speaking of penetration...Hill Air Force Base, UtahOverheard by: Wendy...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comIT guy, out of the blue: Speaking of penetration...
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It's Not Self-Highlighting?2012-05-16T10:46:38Z2012-05-15T21:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.137612012-05-15T21:00:00ZCoworker, in totally serious and businesslike manner: Can you hand me that highlighter? I need to highlight "Dick Wet."Law FirmUpstate New York...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comCoworker, in totally serious and businesslike manner: Can you hand me that highlighter? I need to highlight "Dick Wet."
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How Gay Troops Hurt Morale: Encapsulated2012-05-16T10:46:39Z2012-05-15T20:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.137602012-05-15T20:00:00ZCaptain to corporal, watching action movie: Hmmm, I didn't really like Julia Stiles in this movie, I thought she was better in The Prince and Me.Corporal: I don't know, a lot of people didn't really like that movie.Captain: Hmmm, well,...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comCaptain to corporal, watching action movie: Hmmm, I didn't really like Julia Stiles in this movie, I thought she was better in The Prince and Me. Corporal: I don't know, a lot of people didn't really like that movie. Captain: Hmmm, well, she was better in that one. (watches for a few more moments and walks away)
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Anybody Else Wonder Why a Tech Company Still Uses Faxes?2012-05-16T10:46:39Z2012-05-15T19:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.137592012-05-15T19:00:00ZBoss to assistant: What! I can't believe you sent a fax with a handwritten cover sheet!Assistant: Well, I thought that... Boss, cutting her off angrily: And with purple pen?Assistant: Uh... faxes are black and white when they come out the...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comBoss to assistant: What! I can't believe you sent a fax with a handwritten cover sheet! Assistant: Well, I thought that... Boss, cutting her off angrily: And with purple pen? Assistant: Uh... faxes are black and white when they come out the other side. Boss, shaking head: Still...
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Or Heroin2012-05-16T10:46:39Z2012-05-15T18:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.137582012-05-15T18:00:00ZCoworker #1: I am getting sick but I have plans for tonight. Coworker #2: If I had drugs I would give them to you. Coworker #1: I don't need drugs to have a good time tonight. Coworker #2: I mean...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comCoworker #1: I am getting sick but I have plans for tonight. Coworker #2: If I had drugs I would give them to you. Coworker #1: I don't need drugs to have a good time tonight. Coworker #2: I mean drugs that help you get better, like Dayquil.
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Um, All I Asked Was, "What Are Your Rates?"2012-05-16T10:46:40Z2012-05-15T16:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.137572012-05-15T16:00:00ZFemale coworker: This ain't no question-and-answer game. Trick or treat, dammit!Raleigh, North Carolina...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comFemale coworker: This ain't no question-and-answer game. Trick or treat, dammit!
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Sometimes Our Submitters Are the Catty Ones2012-05-16T10:46:40Z2012-05-15T15:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.137562012-05-15T15:00:00ZFiesty nurse: Man, my elbow itches, what that mean? Somebody thinkin bout me or something?Denver, ColoradoOverheard by: Yep, his name is Ashy...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comFiesty nurse: Man, my elbow itches, what that mean? Somebody thinkin bout me or something?
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Haley Joel Osment Seems Lost As an Adult Actor2012-05-16T10:46:40Z2012-05-15T14:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.137552012-05-15T14:00:00ZDrone #1: I haven't found any more dead people.Drone #2: It's harder to find them as they get younger and younger.Drone #1: I mean haven't found any in a long time.California...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comDrone #1: I haven't found any more dead people. Drone #2: It's harder to find them as they get younger and younger. Drone #1: I mean haven't found any in a long time.
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...So You Predicted Correctly.2012-05-16T10:46:40Z2012-05-14T22:00:00Ztag:www.overheardintheoffice.com,2012://2.137542012-05-14T22:00:00Z14-year-old to mom: Guess what I found out, mom, my ex girlfriend is a whore. She's aleady pregnant by some asshole. Pediatrician OfficeFloridaOverheard by: Esmie...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.com14-year-old to mom: Guess what I found out, mom, my ex girlfriend is a whore. She's aleady pregnant by some asshole.