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5PM We're Looking Forward to His Wrestling Match With Legal-Size Paper
PA system: Training for the new copier will begin at 11:30, training for copier at 11:30.
Partner: I think I'm gonna pass on the copy meeting, but can someone write me a memo on which green and red buttons to push?
Lawrenceville, New Jersey
Overheard by: lowly intern
4PM Unless You Drink the Coffee I Prepared for You
Lower-middle management: I know you're having lunch, but I'm trying to get this done by the end of the day...
Borderline wage-slave: Sure! And you don't care who gets trampled in your little march to "progress"!
Lower-middle management: Um, I'll come back later then...
Borderline wage-slave (cheerfully): Okay! See you later!
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Carver Stone
3PM I Think That's What She Told a Bunch Of the Voters
Voice on phone coming out of an office: Really? Because I thought she only had one tit.
(cube dweller swings head around in disbelief)
Voice on the phone: You know like one of the Amazon ladies who shave their breasts off?
(cube dweller scurries away)
New Hampshire
Overheard by: David
2PM Actually, I'm More of a Cylon
Email: Let's welcome Joe Smith to the company. He will report to Bill Scott.
Copywriter #1: I find it distressing when I don't recognize the names of the supervisors. Are you sure Mr. Scott isn't really a robot?
Copywriter #2: Mr. Scott has been with this organization for at least three years. He is not a robot...or if he is, they did a damn good job making him look human.
Copywriter #3: Sounds like something a fembot would say.
Wausau, Wisconsin
1PM These Days, Everybody's Making Peanuts.
Someone from upstairs on PA system: Mrfff marhhh purpfff rrharp!
Receptionist downstairs on PA system just moments afterwards, completely deadpan: Would Charlie Brown's parents please stop paging people on the intercom? Thank you.
Roswell, New Mexico
Overheard by: The Help
12PM When I Do Pushups, It Sounds Like I'm Serving Pudding
Grad student: I have to scoop my boobs out of my armpit when I lay down.
Charleston, South Carolina
11AM Readers, Answer This Eternal Management Question
Boss, wearing mini-dress, as she exits office: If I can't bend over in my own office, then where can I bend over?
Toronto
Canadia
10AM Miss Muffet's Life Hasn't Changed Much Since Adulthood
Cosmetics dept. drone: This spider snuck up on me, so all of a sudden I stopped servicing my customer.
Rockford, Illinois
9AM He Can Never Wait 'Til the End Of the Meeting
Sales guy: I couldn't believe it! In the middle of the meeting with Frank* there, he just flips his thong up on the desk!
Olympic Peninsula, Washington
Overheard by: good heavens
5PM Have You Seen This Year's Potato Crop?
Friend of coworker: (mumbling)
Coworker: So now I am sensitive to size!
Friend of coworker: (more mumbling).
University of Idaho
Moscow, Idaho
4PM Meanwhile, Rome Burned.
New girl: I'm going downstairs for a smoke before we start checking over. Do you want to come?
Supervisor: No thanks, I just think I'll sit here and fiddle...not with myself!
New girl: Whatever you want to do in your own time.
Supervisor: Hur-hur, yeah, I just sit here and fiddle with myself to unwind. (later, realising new girl has left) Fiddle.
Chiswick Park
London
England
Overheard by: choking on a coke
3PM We Suspect the Cheesy Part Is Right
Him: You take croissant dough, roll it out, fill it with fajita meat, onions, peppers... Cover it with cheese, roll it up them, and put more cheese on it.
Her: That's called a "stromboli."
Him: No it's not. It's a Bradley special. It's what I always give out on the third date.
Glenview
San Antonio, Texas
2PM It's Why I Entered the Exciting Field Of Elder Care in the First Place
Boss: Sometimes I wish all our clients would just die.
Brisbane
Australia
1PM Did You Know the FBI Invented Cheese to Protect Us from Aliens?
Office assistant #1: So the boss has been in meetings all day--you must be having a good day?
Office assistant #2: Oh yes! I've been reading conspiracy theories on the internet for the last four hours. I've really learned a lot.
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
12PM Especially If His Stage Name Was "Biden Ma' Time"
Coworker: If Joe Biden rapped, I would totally listen to him all day.
New York City, New York
11AM I'll Take That As a No
Agent: Can you tell me what color the small square or circular sticker is on the back of your phone?
Customer: I had cervical surgery this week. My neck hurts.
Vermillion, South Dakota
Overheard by: Haley
10AM Yeah-- That's Why I Don't Work with Interns
Assistant to another: You ever have someone come up to you and give you a present from their diaper?
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Topsy Krets
9AM Any Other Dreams I Can Crush Before Lunch?
Secretary #1: Is your boyfriend coming for Christmas?
Secretary #2: Yeah! He's in med school in Seattle studying to be an ER doc, so I don't get to see him much.
Female doctor, just coming into room: Them! Don't get me started on ER docs!
Secretary #1: Oh?
Doctor: They can't keep their pants on--and the married ones are worse!
Albany General Hosptial
Albany, Oregon
5PM ...Than Getting Paid
Boss: Do you want to hear about what trouble my toddler got up to this morning?
Lackey: Honestly? No.
Boss: I control your paycheck.
Lackey: Nnnnnothing would make me happier.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: That was smooth.
4PM Mr. Pugsley Is Jonesing
Woman on phone: After I had that conversation with my mom about stealing my dog's Xanax, it's been downhill.
40th & Lexington
Manhattan, New York
3PM Better You Than Me, Pal
Boss to employee fixing phone lines: Where is Matt? He was just here.
Matt: I'm over here...under your wife's desk.
Brookhaven, Pennsylvania
2PM It Was a Humpday to Remember, Thanks to Marcie
Woman on conference call: I'm going to put together all these papers we discussed and copulate them.
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina
1PM Or Do Worry-- Either Way Works for Me
Older coworker on phone: Don't worry, you are on my list of things to do today.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
12PM Doesn't the Machine Know What I Want?
Coworker #1: Why does the copy machine keep printing out pages with lines on them?
Coworker #2: Because your original is on lined notebook paper.
Bloomington, Indiana
11AM Ream It Out, So to Speak
Receptionist: Every couple weeks or so I have to come back here and molest the printer paper.
Seattle, Washington
10AM Plus, I'm a Girl.
Male coworker: Someone just called me "sir."
Female coworker: What's wrong with that?
Male coworker: It's the same with "ma'am." Once you are called "sir" you know you have lost all sexual appeal.
13th Street
Manhattan, New York
9AM Because We're Merkin Nine to Five?
Female coworker: Why does my box have hair all over it?
Frat dude turned suit coworker: Dude, that was awesome!
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Courtney
5PM Most Of What People Tell You About Themselves Online Is Crap
IT guy, describing cyber-girlfriend: Yeah, I met her online. She works out a lot. She sent me some pictures, and she's definitely built like an outhouse.
Bartlesville, Oklahoma
Overheard by: My poop don't stink
4PM I'm More Familiar With Unix
Computer tech, trying to remove picture of very well endowed naked man off computer: Well, I don't know how to get him off.
Vermont
3PM And When I Do...
Sales rep on phone to customer: I thought about you in the shower this morning. I know that probably sounds weird but I think about my customers all the time.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Wonder if he made the sale...
2PM In Tough Economic Times, It's Good to See Everyone Helping Out
Disembodied voice coming from men's room: Aww, man! We do that every year! ...usually with our teeth ...and while he's still alive.
Austin, Texas
1PM But I've Made Do with a Forehead and Half a Boob Before...
Audience development director: Is anybody else having any weird computer issues? I'm having trouble on the main site and on admin...
Marketing director: The porn I'm looking at is taking an awfully long time to load, if that's what you mean.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Sarah
12PM It's Kind of Like Leapfrog, But Naked
Field tech: She wasn't bar hopping, she was boy hopping.
Sheridan College
Oakville
Canadia
11AM Now Behold the Wonder That Is My Nose!
Nerdy office guy: I showed you my back hair before, haven't I?
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: The office Gossip
10AM The Children I Can Take or Leave
Boss, on his way out the door for a rough meeting: If I never come back, tell my wife I like her.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
9AM Oh Wait. I Mean Asparagus.
Woman at table with friends: Eskimos are really fascinating. Did you know that they almost always have twins? (friends shake their heads) Oh, wait. I mean sheep.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/11/now-i-want-some-eskimo-cheese.html
Overheard by: Ian
5PM I'm Printing This Baby Out!
Loud woman in elevator, on phone: I don't delete...it's not in my blood to delete!
Fairfax, Virginia
Overheard by: Receptionist
4PM Takes All the Anonymity Out of My Encounters
Employee: Do we have to wear our new name tags when we go to the bathroom?
Florida
3PM He's in Advertising
Salesgirl, answering the phone: Hey, it's for you.
Coworker: Who is it?
Salesgirl: Um...he said he was "naked"
Coworker: Oh, that's my husband!
Department Store
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Odd Name
2PM I Was Like, "Shoot!"
Lawyer to client: I have a concealed handgun license. I used to carry my gun with me all the time, but then I found out it's illegal to carry a weapon and be intoxicated.
Guadalupe Street
Austin, Texas
1PM The Best Part Is, She Totally Just Rickrolled Him.
Woman arguing on phone with husband: Calm down, please. I'm sending you a picture of a funny cat. Go look at the cat.
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
12PM Unlike the Rest of You Grabby McGrabbersons
Office bimbo #1, at an office potluck: Well, I knew she would like my buns better than John's. His buns are all squishy and white, mine have seeds and nuts in them.
Office bimbo #2: Well, I am glad she just kept her hands off of my buns.
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: Monitor of the Bore-atorium
11AM Should We Take a Personal Day?
Boss #1: You know grandpa died today.
(long pause)
Boss #2: From The Munsters?
(long pause)
Boss #1: Yep.
Danville, Illinois
10AM How Will It Fit Those and Your Blood?
Cube dweller #1: Aw, man, you totally stole my favorite bowl! And I got that from the third floor kitchen and everything. Now I'll have to go all the way down there get a new one.
Cube dweller #2: Make sure there's enough room for your tears.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
9AM His Pride! What Were You Thinking?
Gay co-worker, loudly, to visibly embarrassed girl who just received a large bunch of roses: Somebody swallowed last weekend!
Oakland House
Manchester
England
Overheard by: Tommy
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