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5PM Since No High-Profile Plane Crashes Have Happened Recently, Everyone Laughed Good-Naturedly at the Pilot's Joke
Pilot: Folks we'll be flying at 28 thousand feet today, however, the folks at maintenance only gave us enough fuel to fly at 22 thousand feet. So, we'll see what happens. Enjoy your flight!
Delta Airlines flight
2PM He Books the WWE Package Tours
Travel agent #1: I would go back there in a heartbeat. China was so awesome.
Travel agent #2: I heard that China was insane.
Travel agent #3: Any ugly girl wrestler has to be a little insane. I mean, Chyna was the craziest woman wrestler ever.
Travel agent #1: Ummm... yeah.
Jasper Avenue
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
10AM One Way to Keep Them Quiet
Office lady #1: I'm going to a sleep-away camp for ten-year-olds this weekend.
Office lady #2: Well, at least there will be alcohol.
1 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: sarcastro
10AM And She Keeps Track of What STDs I Have
Customer, running: What aisle are your condoms in?
Cashier: Oh, um... aisle seven.
Customer: Thanks! Quick, quick, I've got the girl in the cab!
20-something guy behind him: Oooh, picked up a girl in the bar, eh? What's her name?
Customer: Don't know -- all I know is my wife is in Seattle.
Walgreens, 4th Avenue
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Other Cashier
12PM When You've Had that Many 'Shrooms, who Can be Sure?
BK guy: What did you do this weekend?
BK girl: I went to Ohio for a concert.
BK guy: Ohio? You went all the way over by California for a concert?
BK girl: Ummm... No...
Burger King, Rhode Island
9AM A Recent Graduate of Turnip Truck University
Employee: I'd like to work the booth. I could be good at that. I'd like to travel, and go to trade shows.
Manager: You'd have to educate yourself so you can speak to clients about what we do here. You'd also have to work some weekends.
Employee: Do I get paid?
Manager: You get travel for free - meals, hotel, airfare.
Employee: Wow.
Manager: And of course your regular paycheck.
Employee: Is this scheme widely known in the company??
Rochelle Park
New Jersey
10AM The Tits, I Just Left There
Man: I've heard that you've been to New York before and tried to be a stripper there.
Woman: Yeah, I've taken my ass back now.
Shanghai, China
5PM He Could Trip on a Tampon at Any Moment!
Techie guy #1: You know how my friends Jason and Mike rode their bikes to Mexico and then to Costa Rica to play poker?
Techie guy #2: Yeah.
Techie guy #1: Well, Mike's living with this girl he met in Mexico.
Techie guy #2: Is that safe?
11000 Regency Parkway
Cary, North Carolina
4PM Hello, I'm Your Tour Guide, Steve, Which Is French For 'Dumbass'
Tour guide: And this here is what we call a "grotto," from the French word for "water."
Secret Caverns
Cobleskill, New York
5PM Cuban Business Customs: The Short Course
Canadian: Is there anything I should know about Cuban business customs before we get started?
Translator: No.
Girl with tray of espressos walks in and hands one to each person.
Canadian: I don't drink coffee.
Translator: You do today.
Cuban Health Ministry
Havana, Cuba
Overheard by: Drank the coffee
9AM Anyway, We're Not Sure You're the Sort of Sales Rep We Want at Dead Cat in a Basket, LLC
Older woman: Yes, I have fifteen years of commission-only sales experience, and I'm accustomed to traveling four days out of the week.
Interviewer: Oh, um, well that's great. Um, yes, some of our new hires don't like traveling because it's so lonely and can be far from home and, um, you know, like solitudish and lonely.
Older woman: That's okay with me. Travel is fine, but I can't travel for three weeks out and one week home. I have two cats. I can leave them for four days at a time but not three weeks.
Interviewer: Oh. Well, that's unfortunate 'cause we really would like you for the job. Well, um, if something would happen that would mean you could take this job, um, like I won't get into what that would be or anything morbid or sad or anything...but you could always re-apply.
6500 Matalin Place
Louisville, Kentucky
12PM Finalize Conference
Senior VP: Make sure you reserve a king size bed because there's going to be two of us.
600 Maryland Avenue SW
Washington, DC
12PM Foreign Office Debriefing
Photographer: So there I am in my hotel room and there's hundreds of malaria mosquitos just flying around, and I'm thinking, "Well, isn't this great?"
333 North Meridian Avenue
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: fransen comes alive
9AM Back to Work
Producer: My friend went to the Galapagos Islands and was astounded. They have birds called blue boobies. Google "blue boobies". You'll see pictures of them.
Suit: I'm not searching for blue boobies on my computer. I'll get called into the office for a talk.
Producer: Oh, I'll do it...see?
Suit: Wow, who would have thought that would't have brought up a porn site?
1910 South Highland Avenue
Lombard, Illinois
1PM Especially If You Go On the Rides
Colleague: We went on a day trip to Auschwitz but it's not a very happy place.
15-19 Bloomsbury Way
London, England
7PM Not Only That, But the Planes Often Go Northeast!
West Virginia guy: Those Southwest email specials never give any deals on places people really want to go. Like I was looking for a flight to Indiana, they didn't have anything.
9211 Appleford Circle
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Doug Wilson
12PM Whipping Political Slaves Keeps the Weight in Check
Visiting European account manager: Hello [Katie], how nice to see you again. I am back for factory visit!
Chinese Sales Rep: Hi, welcome you to office again! You are look much fatter than last time! Every time, fatter and fatter!
Visiting European account manager: ...yes...well...really...
188 Dong Cheng Da Dao
Dong Guan, China
12AM 15% is Customary
Jet-Setting boss: I have to go to fucking Appleton, Wisconsin. Appleton, Wisconsin! What am I going to do there?
Secretary: Well, there's always cow-tipping.
512 7th Avenue
New York, NY
12AM Not Even If It Ends Up Here?
NYU Professor: Being a visiting professor has its good points: I don't give a shit what I say!
19 University Place
New York, NY
