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1PM I've Sacked Plenty of Clemson Graduates, Though
Lobbyist, accompanying CEO: Clemson football games are wonderful. Saturday afternoon games down there are great.
Staffer: Yes, they were a lot of fun.
Lobbyist, to CEO: Have you ever watched a Clemson game?
CEO, nonchalantly turning to leave: No, they never played Yale.
Washington, DC
11AM I'm Also a Little Unclear on This 'Hat' Concept
Woman: My boyfriend wants the Florida Marlins hat with the swordfish through the 'F.'
Man: You mean the marlin through the 'F'?
Woman: What's a marlin?
Charlestown, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Taylor
12PM Wait, If I Just Lock Him in an Empty Room with Some Dog Food in a Bag, I Could Get That New 'Vette!
Mom, pointing to friend's child: Say 'Hello' to Aidan*.
Shy child hiding face in mom's leg: 'Lo.
Mom: If you can't look at him and 'Hello' properly then you can't have swimming lessons. There, I just saved a hundred and fifty dollars!
145 Harlow Street
Bangor, Maine
Overheard by: Kelly
11AM It's an L.A. County Law
Bicycle Girl: Take the 101 to the 405, and then you'll hit Santa Monica. There are great bike trails there.
Bicycle Boy: Great. I was having trouble finding good bike trails around here.
Bicycle Girl: Yeah, there are no good trails in the Valley. You have to go by the beach or mountains. No one rides their bike in the Valley unless they're Mexican and on their way to work.
North Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Jen
3PM Well, It's Like I Always Say: Children Come First
Male bank president: My daughter's gonna letter in high school track this year.
Female vice president: Oh?
Male bank president: Yeah, she's a runner. All year I've been taking her out on country roads to let her spread her legs.
Female vice president, under her breath: Putz!
1105 Vargas Street
Atwood, Kansas
2PM He Doesn't Recognize Countries That Achieved Independence After 1800
Male employee #1: How did Costa Rica go in the World Cup?
Male employee #2: Who does he play for?
Male employee #1: Are you serious?
Male employee #2: What? Is he on the Australian team or something? Is that why I'm meant to know him?
Perth, Western Australia
Overheard by: you've got to be kidding me!
12PM Lunch
Coworker: Who won the World Cup game?
Supervisor: Ghana beat the U.S.
Coworker: Aw, I wanted the U.S. to win!
Supervisor: Why? The U.S. wins everything. That's why we have the Olympics.
1145 East 4th Street
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Rasputin
5PM That's a Wrap
Assistant: Sir?
Boss: Don't talk to me. It's Game Seven.
11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Lindroid
3PM On the Links
At a company golf outing. . .
Member of other foursome: Did somebody lose a club cover?
Coworker, in the saddest voice ever: Was it a gorilla?
457 IH 45 South
Huntsville, Texas
12PM Lunch
Male co-worker #1: Stay away from [Pam]. She knows kickboxing.
Male co-worker #2: So? I know how to run very, very fast.
1250 Broadway
New York, New York
5PM That's a Wrap
Trim middle-aged President: I just received my soccer badge in the mail.
Young receptionist: I can't see you playing soccer.
President: I don't play, I referee.
Receptionist: Still, I can't see your fat ass waddling up and down the field.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
Overheard by: now I'm going to have to answer the phones again
10AM Coffee Break
The day after the company picnic. . .
Female clerk #1: Was that the new guy playing volleyball? You know the one that keeps trying to adjust his hours.
Manager: Maybe he just needs to wear a jock strap all the time.
Female clerk #2: Adjust his hours! His schedule! Everything is code for crotch to you!
5760 Highway 80 East
Pearl, Mississippi
1PM Lunch
Worker #1: He has a groin pull so he's asking for pain pills .
Worker #2: He told me he hurt his leg.
Consultant: Yeah, my third leg. I'm a tripod.
Worker #1: A tripod wouldn't have hurt himself playing basketball with a 50 or under league.
100 Summer Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Regina C
7AM Then You'd Need to Raise Money for Broken Hips
Girl #1: Hey, do you want to do the Ann Landers 5k with me?
Girl #2: Ann Landers has her own 5k?
Girl #1: Yeah, it's to raise money for whatever she died of.
Girl #2: I thought she just died of being old. Wouldn't it be awesome if there was a 5k to raise money to prevent old?
835 N. Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
12AM "I've got a bat here too, let me clean it."
General manager: Mr. Food & Beverage Manager, would you like to add anything?
Food & Beverage manager: Yes, I'd like to mention that the volleyballs haven't yet arrived for the animation team. Mr. Purchasing Manager hasn't bought them yet.
Purchasing manager: Let me get the balls for you now, they're right under the table.
Translated from the Arabic.
Le Meridien Makadi Bay Hotel
South Hurghada, Egypt
6AM You Just Know She's Hot as Hell
Eastern European cocktail waitress: So what is this "stepping up to the plate" you spoke of in our meeting?
Bar manager: It's an analogy...OK, it's like this: in baseball, you step into the batter's box. You step up to the plate to try and hit a home run. That's what we need, is home runs here.
Eastern European cocktail waitress: I don't understand your speech at all.
Bar manager: Great! Now I'm going to have to explain what an analogy is.
Bourbon Street Casino
120 E. Flamingo Boulevard
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: KellyMarie
1PM Isn't the Tour de France...oh, wait.
Guy #1: God, I'm so tired. I feel like I just ran the Tour de France.
Guy #2: Yeah, I'd love to see you get hit by a bunch of bikes.
737 Main St.
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: chris b
4PM "By 'worked out', I meant 'snorted Twinkies'."
Sales guy: When I was in Princeton [NJ], I worked out every day and I still gained 7 pounds.
Engineer: I gained seven pounds and I didn't work out at all.
Sales guy: That's why you're an engineer!
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
