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9AM Internet, Eh?
Client: Who owns the Internet?
Sales guy: Nobody.
Client: Well, somebody's making money!
Web design firm
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: office peon
10AM Okay, Now Gently Place Half of a Potato over It...
IT chick: Okay, okay, slow down... Your mouse isn't working? [Pause] Ma'am... Ma'am, pick it up off the floor.
Internet domain registrar company
Scottsdale, Arizona
9AM Me Neither. Isn't Advertising Cool?
Art director: Don't you have to be educated to do your job?
IT guy: Nope.
11 E 26th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Jeremy
4PM Apparently He Never Went Drinking with College Girls
Hardware tech #1: He probably covered the screwdriver in vaseline and lit it on fire.
Hardware tech #2: Actually, it was a woman. I mean, how dangerous can a woman with a screwdriver be?
460 Hillside Street
Needham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: S. Griffin
9AM See This Eye Patch?
Man: Well, once you shoot yourself in the foot with a nail gun, you'll know you should never point it at anything.
Software company
Birmingham, Alabama
1PM When I Increased the Size of My...Facilities, He Was Unable to Make Inventory
Manager on phone: Yeah, I broke up with him...Yeah, he was okay...Yeah...Yeah...But he just didn't scale.
Silicon Valley, California
Overheard by: David
5PM That's a Wrap
Customer: Is Office 2003 the latest version of Office that's out?
Salesperson: Yeah, they most likely won't come out with a new version until Vista is released, which should be about the end of the year.
Customer: What's that?
Salesperson: Vista?
Customer: Yeah, Rista? What is that? Is that the new Office?
Salesperson: No, Vista is the new operating system that's coming out. Last I heard Microsoft was planning to release it near the end of this year.
Customer: Microsoft's going to sell computers now?
Salesperson: No, Vista is the operating system that gets installed on computers. It's what makes your computer run.
Customer: Oh, yeah, I knew that already. Are you going to be carrying Microsoft's new computers?
Willard Building
State College, Pennsylvania
1PM System Overload
CSR on phone: Help desk, this is James*.
[pause]
CSR: I am sorry, this is the PC and phone help desk. Sounds like you need the facilities help desk if a toilet is stopped up.
[pause]
CSR: Okay sir, I understand, but you need facilites, not the help desk.
[long pause]
CSR: Okay, is it a Windows toilet or a Unix toilet?
Customer, now on speakerphone: Well, there are no windows in this bathroom, so I guess it must be a Unix toilet.
CSR: Okay, I will get a Unix toilet specialist there as soon as we can. Which building and bathroom is it?
[pause]
CSR: Thanks.
[CSR hangs up]
CSR back on phone: Hello, facilities? This is James at the PC help desk. Yeah, I have a doozy for you...try not to laugh...
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
Overheard by: El Gee
1PM Quality Assurance
Test coordinator: You accidentally assigned the defect to the wrong application.
Tester: Okay, I'll fix that. Sorry for the incontinence.
1111 Polaris Parkway
Columbus, Ohio
10AM Call Repairman
Telecom guy: Hi, I'm here to fix [Barry]'s phone
[Larry]: It's [Larry], actually.
Telecom guy: Whatever.
International Broadcast Center
via Nizza
Torino, Italy
Overheard by: jk
4PM Man Support Desk
Customer: Hey, the spell checker is broken. When I type in complete
gobbledygook, it doesn't mark that as wrong. Can you fix that?
Tech: When you learn how to type real words and they are misspelled, then you are allowed to ask me questions.
9598 Cortana Place
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
12PM Server Testing
IT: That's "Venus", our main file server.
Architect: Why is it called "Venus"?
IT: Becuase it's a big black bad-ass server.
603 King Street
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: Charles Warren
12AM Yeah, But No Competitors Had It Then
Dev: But I have wanted tabbed browsing for seven fucking years!
One Microsoft Way
Redmond, Washington
