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5PM Gives You Strength to Fight the War on Obesity
Large coworker: What you do is you split the Krispy Kreme in half and grill it, then put the cheeseburger on it, and I swear, it's the best way to have it.
Capitol Hill
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Jessica
10AM No, Your Children Do
Receptionist: Does the president have to pay the mortgage on the White House?
1600 Utica Avenue South
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: wish she hadn't voted
11AM Rumsfeld: Damn!
Economist: It's not my fault -- I know how to circulate a memo.
Supervisor: Well, don't think you're putting that on your resume.
Government building
Washington, DC
Overheard by: highly qualified
9AM Or You Could Throw One in before We Lose Any More People in Iraq
Coworker #1: So, you're saying that in the movie he twisted the towel so tight it became a sword?
Coworker #2: Yeah, like, if you spin a towel tight enough it gets rigid, but if you put Kung Fu in it, it's like a weapon.
Government agency
Washington, DC
Overheard by: kung fu master
2PM At Camp Marion Barry
Military personnel: Adam* looks like hell this morning -- like he was smoking crack all night. Adam, you are a civilian, right?
Adam: Yes.
Military personnel: Ah, then it's alright. You don't get drug-tested like us. Smoke all the crack you want.
Washington, DC
5PM After Successfully Outlawing Science, Kansas Gets Right to Work on Math
Topeka City Council Member: I thought we just voted that down unanimously, with the exception of one or two votes.
Capitol grounds
Topeka, Kansas
Overheard by: wscnsngl
1PM Why 'American Government Conspiracy' Will Always Be an Oxymoron
Intern #1: I will do all of your House bills if you get up and dance right now!
Intern #2: No.
Co-Worker: Why would you pay all of his house bills if he dances? That's like $100!
Intern #1: House, like House of Representatives!
Co-Worker: We have access to the legislature's power bills?
Political Office
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jason B.
9AM Plus the Pictures Are Better
Elevator-Rider #1: Hey, are you still working in homicide?
Elevator-Rider #2: Nah, I left homicide a while ago. Now I'm in sexual predators. It's great 'cause I don't have to be on call anymore, and I have weekends free.
King County Administration Building
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: B
12PM Anyway, Meeting's Cancelled; Wanna Go Looting?
Flood vic #1: So I said to my boss, "I won't be able to make the meeting in NYC, because my house is flooded and I had to evacuate."
Flood vic #2: So what did she say?
Flood vic #1: She said that she was stressed out about having to cancel the meeting and incoveniencing the people in NYC.
Flood shelter cot
Overheard by: sitting on a cot waiting for Noah.
11AM Research
Staffer working on Patriot Act: Power is always abused; we were putting the Japanese in intermittent camps in the thirties during World War I.
Dirksen Senate Office Building
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Intern
11AM Ladies Room
Librarian #1: Is that you, Chelsea*?
Librarian #2: Yes.
Librarian #1: Oh good. I thought I waved to the wrong person.
Librarian #2: Oh, I didn't see you wave.
Librarian #1, exasperated: Well I did it under the stall.
Librarian #2: I was looking at the wall.
Librarian #1, still exasperated: Well, let me do it again then.
401 Merritt 7
Norwalk, Connecticut
Overheard by: Proof Positive
2PM Raising Headcount
Recruiter for aid programs in Afghanistan: I talked with one Mark Johnson* -- an 82-year-old WWII vet. He doesn't hear well, but would love to see some combat. I told him that I would see what we could arrange.
Manager: Ummm...
Recruiter: Dude, sarcasm?
7250 Woodmont Avenue
Bethesda, Maryland
1PM Backlog in Booking
Guy on bench: I know, this is ridiculous. I've been waiting three hours to turn myself in.
Precinct 1
Cincinnati, Ohio
4PM Smoke Break
Male coworker: There's nothing worse than feeling not-so-fresh when you have a doctor between your legs.
Female coworker just walking into the conversation: Huh?
200 Constitution Avenue
Washington, DC
4PM Better Check His Briefcase for Virgins
Suit #1: Why didn't you guys invite [Joe] to eat with us?
Suit #2: Well, we asked him to come but he responded with gibberish and broke out in foreign tongues.
Suit #3: Yeah, I think he's a terrorist.
US Department of State
2121 Virginia Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Bradley
12AM At Least He's in the Right Office
Mother: Why did you check "female" on that?
Son: Aw, shit!
Department of Health and Mental Hygiene
125 Worth Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Jean-Luc Picard
