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11AM My Hurt Feelings Collection Is Festering Nicely Today
Coworker #1: I can't believe the three of them just strolled right past my cubicle, and Karen* did not ask us if we wanted to go to lunch with them!
Coworker #2: She is so rude! You ready?
Coworker #1: Yeah, I'm starving.
Shier Rings Road
Dublin, Ohio
Overheard by: Invisible Girl
2PM After That, I Wore It all the Time, So It Wasn't Really a Costume
Male peon: I was a pink My Little Pony for Halloween once.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
10AM Doesn't Take Much to Offend People in Ohio
Female tech worker #1: I need muffins.
Male tech worker: I've got muffins.
Female tech worker #2: I bet you can have some of [male tech worker]'s muffins.
Female tech worker #3: All together now...
Male and females #2 and #3: Dirrrty!
5990 West Creek Road
Independence, Ohio
Overheard by: Geek Times Infinity
2PM Aric Is in Henry's Today
Female worker: Hey, stay out of my pants!
Guy folding jeans: Uh, these are Aric's*!
Clothing store, Fairfield Commons Mall
Dayton, Ohio
12PM But All It Said Was "Please Remember to Recycle"
Female sales exec: Did you get that e-mail I sent you?
Male sales exec: Yeah.
Female sales exec: What'd you think?
Male sales exec: I'd give it a 90 percent.
Female sales exec: What made you take 10 off?
Male sales exec: It didn't say anything about Jesus being the savior. I mean, that's why we celebrate Christmas. You can't have Christmas without Easter.
Female sales exec: Oh.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: So I can't call it Xmas?
12PM Stupid Airport Security
Grunt: It's a sad day when you can't bite someone.
1056 Home Avenue
Akron, Ohio
12PM When Oprah Writes Her Own Press Statements
Guy on phone: She's not God, but she's a good candidate.
7th Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
3PM Last Time You Killed a Photo Booth Chick, You Had to Serve Six Whole Months of a Life Sentence
Clerk: I'm sorry, ma'am, but these photos are professional. There's no way I could let you print these without a release form.
Customer, angry: If I didn't just get out of prison, I would through such a fit!
Mother: Just calm down and walk away.
Cleveland, Ohio
11AM It's Possible You Won't Believe What You See
Shipping clerk: I have a package here for you.
Asian scientist: What is in the box?
Shipping clerk: I don't know, but it's probably cells, since it says 'dry ice.'
Asian scientist: But what's in the box?
Shipping clerk: Why don't we take it to the lab and open the box?
Asian scientist: Okay, but what's in the box?
American scientist: I think that's the stuff you ordered.
Asian scientist: Oh, yes, okay. But what can possibly be in the box?
Columbus, Ohio
5PM Our Feet, for Instance
Office hottie #1: Just think of all the stuff we put in our mouths that we don't think about...
Office hottie #2: Ummm...
8891 Gander Creek
Dayton, Ohio
12PM Only If It's Rubbed with Truffles
Mid-level manager: I didn't know ham could smell fear.
Highland Hills, Ohio
5PM It Delivered a Christmas Warning and Vanished
Lady suit: It was a full moon and I saw a cow standing right in my front yard!
Intern, slightly freaked out: Oh my god.
Lady suit: Yeah, with the moon shining it looked like it was glowing green.
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Marie
5PM Because I Borrowed It
Secretary to lawyer: Was that your condom they found on the second floor of the parking garage?
Cleveland, Ohio
12PM And End Up Teaching in Ohio
Philosophy professor: History is written by the winners. Losers are killed... But in philosophy, losers aren't killed, they're marginalized.
Athens, Ohio
12PM Men Learn a Lot about the Women They Work With
Lady peon: What? No! You don't wanna put your boobs on the toilet seat!
Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: I don't even want to know, really
10AM Would You Just Give It a Feel?
Mexican worker: Does my banana look sick to you?
Coworker: I am not looking over there.
306 Oak Court
Beavercreek, Ohio
4PM I'd Rather My Wife Didn't Understand Me
Opinionated coworker: My wife's mad at me because I think she's an idiot.
Main Street and Grant Avenue
Columbus, Ohio
5PM By the Three Year Mark I've Forgotten Everything but Hair Color
Poli-Sci professor: How was I supposed to remember her name? I had only lost my virginity to her five years earlier!
College
Wooster, Ohio
5PM Just Testing the Waters
Boss: We should become alcoholics. That would make work so much easier.
Employee: That bottle of Bailey's in my filing cabinet only lasted me a week and a half.
Boss: You had Bailey's?
Employee: Ummm, no.
Lake Shore Drive
Columbus, Ohio
3PM For a Dollar, All You're Getting Is an Estimate
Shipping guy: How much handling can you get for a dollar?
Richmond Road
Bedford Heights, Ohio
Overheard by: Shannon
12PM You're Not at High Times Anymore, Toto
Managing editor, on drug screening: We even test the interns. I was shocked by that. I thought everyone just assumed they were stoned all the time.
Newspaper office
Ohio
Overheard by: I didn't get the job
10AM You Know How Many Drinks $10,000 Will Buy?
Lady peon: My husband's doctor told him that his liver is so bad that he has to quit drinking, so I'm going to quit with him. [Later] I can't wait to have a couple beers tonight.
Confused coworker: I thought you said you were going to quit drinking with your husband!
Lady peon: Well, a few drinks won't hurt him.
Columbiana, Ohio
Overheard by: ChatsMcGee
4PM How to Come Out to Your Parents in One Easy Step
Little boy to mom: You know what I like to suck?
Clothing store, Polaris Mall
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Ohgodmustn'tsayanything
1PM We Really Need a Sneeze Guard
Worker bee: Sorry, I got my lesbian juices all over it.
200 West 7th Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Phone Slave
12PM You Always Take a Weird Exit off the Conversation Highway
Bible-thumping coworker: It's my son's 35th birthday today. I can't believe my oldest is going to be 35.
Normal coworker: Oh? How many children do you have?
Bible-thumping coworker: Let's see... I have three biological and one spiritual. But we're much more than spiritual, really. It's like we have this connection.
Normal coworker, to herself: Riiiiight.
100 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
9AM Neither -- I'm Running Ubuntu Linux
Coworker on phone: Do you have a Mac or a real computer?
Bowling Green, Ohio
5PM I Have a Delicate Constitution
Office peon: When I was little I Dream of Jeannie always made me tense. I think it was the chaos.
25 South Front Street
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: emf
4PM But Ass Prostheses Are the Wave of the Future
Girl #1: Oh my god! You are such a slut!
Girl #2: I am not a slut!
Girl #3: It's true, she's not a slut. She's just a fake-ass ho.
Girl #1: Yeah, you're such a fake-ass ho.
Girl #2: Yeah, true.
1310 Sycamore Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
9AM Plus Clowns
Coworker #1: What is Cirque du Soleil anyway?
Coworker #2: I went to the website -- it looks like it's just a bunch of Asians stretching.
Columbus, Ohio
11AM You Could Still Take a Black Lover
Office peon #1: I met my husband in Ireland, but he's from South Africa originally.
Office peon #2: You're going to have such beautiful babies.
Office peon #1: Well, I think so, but why do you?
Office peon #2: Half-black babies are always beautiful.
Office peon #1: My husband isn't black.
Office peon #2: He's not?
Office peon #3: Sally*, not everyone in South Africa is black. In fact, the majority of South Africans are white. Haven't you heard of apartheid?
Office peon #2: Yeah, I guess.
Town Street
Columbus, Ohio
1PM But When We Succeed, the Wankputer's Gonna Be Huge
Coworker #1: Jack*, don't you have a little thing?
Jack: I got a little thing, but it don't do shit.
Coworker #2: So do I, Jack. So do I.
100 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
3PM Ladies, This Is the Mark 29 Industrial Fan
Woman clerk: You all need to get your hot flashes together so we can get to work!
Springfield, Ohio
Overheard by: Azazel
4PM Pay No Attention to My Hooves
Realtor: Want a cookie?
Investor: Nah, I can't -- it's not kosher.
Realtor: Sure it is.
Investor: No, I can't. I'm Jewish. I gotta abide by the law.
Realtor: Come on, it's just one cookie.
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Amused assistant
12PM No One Keeps Secrets from Accounts Receivable
A/R girl: Your crotch is all done.
Billing: Okay, thanks. Now I can walk around and not worry about indecency.
A/R girl: Yeah. So if it comes apart again just bring it back in and I'll stitch your crotch back together.
Bedford Heights, Ohio
Overheard by: medieval much?
1PM This Job Never Gets Any Easier, Does It?
CSR: The best way to get through lasers is break dancing!
Columbus, Ohio
12PM They Could, but They Don't Have To
Blonde #1: I think Starbucks made the fire alarm go off in our building so that everyone from our building would go there and get a coffee.
Blonde #2: Oh my god, can they do that?
West 6th Street
Cleveland, Ohio
9AM What? The Customer Is Always Right
Customer on cell: Well, I need to go home and put a bra on.
Cashier: Yeah, it looks like it.
Lancaster, Ohio
Overheard by: Wonder Bra
12PM He's a Fendivore
Woman: Watch out for him -- he eats women's shoes.
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Glad I'm wearing men's shoes
4PM I'm a Secretor
Goatee guy on cell: Make sure you sanitize the keyboard.
Parking garage stairwell
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: iggy
1PM Because That's Our Target Market
CSR on phone with customer: Well, are you normally a weak-minded person?
175 South 3rd Street
Columbus, Ohio
11AM "The Crow Flies at Midnight"
Boss: Let's be clear about this... Actually, no, let's be unclear.
10900 Martin Luther King Drive
Cleveland, Ohio
12PM No Peace, but a Sword for You, My Friend
Coworker on phone: Jesus told me if you come over to fuck you up.
100 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Jesus Freak
1PM I Didn't Go to MIT to Under-engineer Things
Boss: So, how can we cut our costs?
Engineer #1: We could add cheap filler to the plastic.
Engineer #2: But that would reduce the strength.
Engineer #1: Okay, so it wouldn't work for a space station, but it will work on a bucket.
2100 Adelbert Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Just passing through
2PM It's an Old Alaskan Prostitute Adage
Coworker #1: Man, it's cold in this room.
Coworker #2, pointing to thermostat: If you're cold, blow on that.
Coworker #1: What's that going to do for me? [Pause.] If it will make me warm, I'll blow anything.
Broad Street
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Coworker #3
10AM Or, Like, Smart Enough to Wear a Coat
Sorority girl #1: It is so cold.
Sorority girl #2: I wish I was, like, Asian. You know, like, those masks they wear? Over their faces? That would be so warm.
Ohio University
Athens, Ohio
12PM It's the Next Class after Walking and Chewing Gum
Telephone grunt #1: There was someone pooping in the hallway?
Telephone grunt #2: That's what she said! Hold on, I'm going to call her. [Calls non-telephone-based grunt] She was pooping and walking? In the garage? Okay. I guess I just had to hear it again to believe it.
175 South 3rd Street
Columbus, Ohio
4PM Robert Regrets Taking Home Economics Instead of Shop
Clumsy guy: Hey, man, I need one of those banger things and some pointy shits.
Employee: Please tell me you don't mean a hammer and nails...
Clumsy guy: That's what it's called... Hammer... Yes.
Home Depot
Brook Park, Ohio
Overheard by: Telka
2PM Joe Bfstplk, As I Live and Breathe!
HR lady: I remember your name. What's your name?
School
Fairfield, Ohio
10AM Sometimes Only Interpretive Dance Will Do
Manager: How do you tell the client that they're an idiot? What's the wording I should use for that?
1 South Road
Harrison, Ohio
5PM Tonight's Movie: The Filing Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
Manager: Are you going to keep filing those signatures today?
Intern: Yes, unless you have something more exciting for me to do.
Manager: Oh, here, I have some death certificates you could file.
Athens, Ohio
Overheard by: Yeah, that's much better
3PM At Rehearsals for the New Mary Kay Letourneau Musical
Consultant: Pedophiles? Is that my cue?
175 South 3rd Street
Columbus, Ohio
3PM Your Honor, There Are No Files in These Drawers
Employee: These file drawers are really getting overloaded.
Supervisor: Yeah, time for some perjury.
Westlake, Ohio
Overheard by: Giddy-up!
1PM Why the New York-Ohio Worker Exchange Program Fell Apart
Elderly customer: I'd also like a two-liter of Coke.
20-something cashier, smiling: Certainly.
Elderly customer: You know, I really like your demeanor and attitude.
20-something cashier: Up yours, old man.
Elderly customer: [Stunned silence.]
20-something cashier: Have a nice day!
6780 Goshen Road
Goshen, Ohio
Overheard by: Delivery Expert
5PM For Bernard, the Processes of Digestion and Elimination Had Become Suboptimal
Greasy suit as his chili is served: ... And that's exactly why I go in to get colonics.
Skyline Chili
Cincinnati, Ohio
11AM Blade 4: The Retirement
Loud guy in lobby: I mean, I love sharp knives a lot, but not that much. That's just too much!
495 Metro Place South
Dublin, Ohio
Overheard by: Wondering How Much Is Too Much
12PM It's Cooler Than That, but I Don't Want You to Envy Me
Investor: Forget about it, I've got to go, because it's almost Shabbos.
Realtor: What happens when the sun goes down? Are you, like, a vampire or something?
Investor: We just chill.
Cleveland, Ohio
3PM And That's How Daddy Lost His Ear
Eight-year-old boy looking at DVD: Carnival.
Father: Read that again.
Eight-year-old boy: Car... Carb... Cannibal.
Father: Yeah, that means 'meat eater.'
Eight-year-old boy, after pause: Another word for that is 'carnivore.'
Father: Oh, I guess that actually means, 'One who eats their own'. [Longer pause] You know, once at a job site I was working at we had a guy who was arrested and taken away for cannibalism... But that wasn't in America.
Video Store, 5600 Bigger Road
Kettering, Ohio
9AM Fox Unveils Its New Advertising Strategy
Student walking into class late: The bad news is, I am late. The good news is that my intramural football team won the championship.
Professor: What is your team's name?
Student: The Jack Bauers.
Professor: Is that the guy from 24? I can't get into that show...
Student: Because you hate freedom?
Capital University Law School
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: captain awesome
3PM Also Like... What's the Word? ... Real Life
Coworker #1 watching pep rally pass by: Why aren't any of the guy cheerleaders hot? The girls are all pretty -- the guys should be hotter.
Coworker #2: It's kind of like... What do you call it? ... Porn.
328 W Lane Avenue
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: (Snort)
5PM Just the Grilled Water, Then
Server: Are you ready?
Customer: I don't know what I want. What do you like?
Server: When the customer makes up his mind and orders.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: I Like the Grilled Tuna
9AM I Could Have Been Strung-Out in the Corner Weeks Ago!
Coworker #1: Dude, you know that your nose is bleeding?
Intern: Shit, thanks for the heads-up.
Coworker #2: Damn, kid, I wish I woulda known -- you could have gotten me some blow.
Government building
Dayton, Ohio
12PM Yes, Ask Him Why He Never Returns My Calls
Client on phone: May I talk to Mr. Ackerman*, please?
Receptionist: I'm sorry, but Mr. Ackerman doesn't work here anymore. Would you like to leave a message?
Toledo, Ohio
Overheard by: jullylully
5PM 'Benny and the Jets'? Perfect for Cardio
AP woman: You look like you're getting your figure back.
AR woman: I'm trying -- I've become obsessed with BJs.
Richmond Road
Bedford Heights, Ohio
3PM A Whacking Good Reason
Female customer #1: They have lotion in the women's bathroom that is phenomenal.
Female customer #2: There was a line for the women's room, so the owner let me use the men's room when nobody was in it. They didn't have any lotion in there.
Man: There's probably a good reason for that.
3520 Erie Avenue
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Please tell me you washed your hands
12PM Because Their Secretary Told Me They're Missing Page 47 over There
Boss: I've got part of the Kama Sutra on my wall.
Employee: Do we need to talk to H.R.?
175 South 3rd Street
Columbus, Ohio
9AM What Was the Question Again?
Coworker #1: What happened to the mailbox?
Coworker #2: What about it?
Coworker #1: It's gone!
Coworker #2: Oh, yeah...
2201 Commerce Drive
Fremont, Ohio
2PM But Only by Going Further in Can We Acquire Cheese
Board member: There has got to be a way out of this place.
175 S. 3d St
Columbus, Ohio
12PM I've Voted for Them in Every Election Since 1992
Designer: How are you on vaccuum-packed sausage wieners?
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
12PM Dead Men Tells no Tales, Says I
Designer: It's National Talk Like A Pirate Day!
Writer: I know.
Designer: You already knew? And you didn't tell me? I should smack you.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
1PM He Gets Smarter When He Drinks
Frat boy: Gimme something like a whiskey sour but dont put Jack Daniels or anything like that in it. I dont like whiskey!
Bartender: Well what you want in it instead of whiskey?
Frat boy: Use Jim Beam, I fucking love Jim Beam!
Evolution Nightclub
Athens, Ohio
Overheard by: Melvin
5PM Probably Far Enough
Guy: I put on the tutu and that was as far as I got.
4900 Tiedmann,
Brooklyn, Ohio
Overheard by: marko
3PM Eventually, Sure
Manager #1: So did you have a nice birthday party?
Manager #2: Not yet. My older brother's birthday is two weeks after mine, so we always just have one big party that weekend.
Manager #1: Oh, wait, wouldn't that make you the older brother?
Panera, 3043 Glendale Avenue
Toledo, Ohio
2PM Either Way, Really
Plumber: What do I have to do to install gas lines?
Admin: You have to take our class and enroll in a drug and alcohol testing program.
Plumber: You mean I gotta be on drugs to install gas lines?
Admin: No, sir, you have to NOT be on drugs.
Plumber: Oh, OK. I can do that.
5461 Southwyck Boulevard
Toledo, Ohio
Overheard by: Emily
2PM And Stick It up His Nose
Lady: What's his new obsession with cocaine? Is that, like, his new drug of choice or something? 'Cause I'm telling you, I'm about ready to have this baby just to spite him.
1548 Lee Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Fin
5PM I Clung to the Ceiling Until the Board of Regents Granted Me Tenure
Japanese professor: The peroxides are very volatile. If you drop them, we have to be out of the building before they hit the floor.
Grad student: I won't drop them.
Japanese professor: And only Japanese ninja can move that fast.
Grad student: OK.
Japanese professor: I am well trained in the art of the ninja.
10900 Euclid Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
9AM Lame Duck Car Buyers
Old woman: How dare you pick me up in a truck? I drive a Cadillac and you pick me up in a truck?! This is the last Cadillac I ever buy from you!
Manager: That's not much of a threat, now, is it? Seriously, look at you. I mean, there's not a lot of Cadillacs left in you, is there?
Car dealership
Ohio
2PM Her Resume Comes with a Centerfold
Boss: Did you talk to that girl Rachel*?
Male employee on phone: Yes, I have her resume in front of me now.
Boss: She's very pretty... she has big boobs.
Male employee on phone: Really.
Boss: Something to think about.
6671 Eastland Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: melessa
5PM I'll Bet the Fax Machine Will Be More Understanding
Speaker on fax machine: Listen, you freakin' idiot, this is the third time in five minutes you're tryin' to fax something to a phone number.
Employee in adjacent cubicle, two minutes later: Yeah, hi, this is the freakin' idiot... [loud squelching]... shit, now I dialed their fax number.
Georgesville Road
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: laughing in next cubicle
2PM It All Started Back in My Mother's Fallopian Tube...
Boss: Why do you look so sad?
Employee: You really want to know?
Boss: No.
Toledo, Ohio
Overheard by: jullylully
5PM NewsFlash: Crime Wave Linked to Font Addiction!
Co-Worker: Fonts are like my heroin.
820 West Superior Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
12PM What the Fire Said
Guy over PA system: May I have your attention please. There has been a fire reported in the building.
Co-Worker: Well, that's just an excuse to go smoke.
East 13th Street
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: blocking the exit
5PM And You're 'About' the Most Intelligent Woman I've Ever Met
Male co-worker: Check out this photo.
Female co-worker: This is an old photo of you.
Male co-worker: Yeah, it was taken around 1991.
Female co-worker: Wow! That was about 27 years ago!
6606 Tussing Road
Reynoldsburg, Ohio
Overheard by: Someone that can add & subtract
5PM But You Will Need to Bring in a Wire So I Can Hang Myself Later
Desk clerk on phone: No, ma'am, you don't need a cable for the wireless network.
328 West Lane Avenue
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Amused, if I wasn't dealing with the same idiot
12PM He Already Has Plans For Them
Employee #1: Dave*, you're what, 27? You're too young to get married. You need to wait until you're 35 and then marry a 23 year old. Birthing is just "bam! bam! bam!"-- brutal on them. So you need to marry young.
Employee #2: So I need to work here for 8 years and marry a girl who is just graduating from here?
Employee #3: Start looking, man. She's in high school now.
Employee #2: She'd be what, 15? Hey, Jim*, how old are your daughters?
Employee #1: 13 and 15...Shut up!
3800 Victory Parkway
Cincinnati, Ohio
1PM Well, It's a Huge Job to Turn the Glass Around
Five maintenance engineers stand staring at a window with rain pouring down on the inside of the glass.
Engineer: If we all knew about this, why didn't we fix it?
6th and Sycamore
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Alice
10AM When Art History Majors Enter the Workforce
Admin #1: There is a 30% chance that it will rain today.
Admin #2: Wow! That means there is a 60% chance that it won't.
6606 Tussing Road
Reynoldsburg, Ohio
10AM Dear World, I'm Killing Myself at This Time to Inconvenience Cousin Bob
Co-Worker: My cousin died in a car accident yesterday.
Boss: Oh, I'm sorry.
Co-Worker: Yeah. The funeral is Saturday in St. Louis.
Boss: Will you be going?
Co-Worker: Oh no! That's not enough time for me to get everything around and make it down there! I mean, maybe if they had given me a week's notice...
Olentangy River Road
Columbus, Ohio
5PM In Death Everyone Gets a Little Classier
Laywer: So you were locked in a room that had a gas leak?
Client: Yeah. Man, we was trying to get out quick as we could. I mean, if we didn't make it out when we did, we could've been sophisticated!
Lawyer: Asphyxiated?
Client: Whatever.
Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio
4PM Well, At That Point a Small Night Demon Gets Onto a Treadmill Under the Hood...
Dude: If you really want to save money on gas then you should get a hybrid car.
Chick: Hybrid? Does that mean it runs on electricity?
Dude: Uh...yeah
Chick: Well what happens when the sun goes down?
317 West Main Cross Street
Findlay, Ohio
Overheard by: Crut
9AM This Problem Was to Follow Charlie Sheen Into Adulthood
Mother: Do they sell headboards here? I think you should get one that's attached to the wall. They look better.
Young child: I don't think I'm ready for that kind of commitment.
Home Depot
Perrysburg, Ohio
Overheard by: Treesha
11AM Hey, Tara Reid Is Just Trying to Make It Through Her Day Like the Rest of Us
Trader: If you're drunk or high come over and share, but if you're retarded I can't help you.
1801 East 9th Street
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: her boss
5PM It's 'Mothyr-Fuckynge' in the Constitution
Person on phone, in next cube: Does "motherfucking" have a hyphen in it?...Well, in all these criminal cases I see "motherfucking" without a hyphen and spell-check doesn't recognize it.
8891 Gander Creek
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: Snorting coffee out my nose
1PM And I Really Only Need a Few Extra...for the Organs
CFO: Some days I'm amazed at your talent. Other days I just feel like I have forty extra children.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
10AM Copyright Infringement
Lawyer: So you actually filed a copyright application?
Creative director: Oh, no, we just slapped a circle "c" after everything.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
12PM Lunch
Lunchbreaker: Do you want half my cheeseburger?
Worker: No.
Lunchbreaker: Oh, d'oh. I forgot.
Worker: If I'm going to eat meat again, I wanna eat a slab of beef that is over thirty dollars. I want to make sure that when I'm in the bathroom with cramps, that it is worth it.
1 Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
4PM Maternity Leave
Worker: What's up with Charlotte*? Is she okay?
Supervisor: I honestly don't know.
Worker: When I was pregnant, I worked all the way up 'til I dropped the load, and then I came back. Kids these days...
1 Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
2PM Smoke Break
Guy: I'm so beat. I stayed out till 4am drinking last night. I was going to go take a nap in the car, but I think that would be too obvious.
Girl: You can take a nap on the picnic table over there. Then maybe a cop will show up and arrest you because he thinks you're homeless.
Guy: Bitch! This is business casual!
23825 Commerce Park
Beachwood, Ohio
4PM Smoke Break
Coworker: When you were younger, growing up in Mexico, you hated America because they had everything. You guys had everything. Then you grew up and you realized "the Joneses" were living right next to you and your parents were just poor.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
5PM That's a Wrap
Male developer: I want to make sure the data loaded correctly, pardon me if I'm a bit anal
Female project manager: I enjoy anal.
2025 Euclid Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
11AM Next Generation of Workers
Mother to son: Don't play with that stapler!
Passerby: Happy take your kid to work day.
One Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
5PM That's a Wrap
CFO is spouting gossip at happy hour.
Copywriter: How many have you had?!
CFO: What, wives or martinis?
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
4PM Snack Break
Co-worker #1: Well do you want to eat these peeps or not?
Co-worker #2: Hell no... They are hella stale
Co-worker #1: Well. okay. I guess we'll just have to set them on fire.
50 Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio
10AM Editorial Meeting
Designer: Do you ever wonder if some of the girls here were hired for their looks? Oh, I'm not talking about you -- I know you were hired because you're a good writer.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
2PM Debriefing
Creative director: Alright, nice work, guys.
Designer: Before you leave, can I grab you real quick--
Creative director: Depends on where.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
1PM Editorial Meeting
Editor: It's not chaos theory, it's fractions.
8787 Orion Place
Columbus, Ohio
12PM Lunch
African-American co-worker to Caucasian co-worker: You just walked a block through the ghetto to get some chicken? Did you get a five-piece and some biscuits? That's so black of you.
1555 Central Parkway
Cincinnati, Ohio
1PM Lunch
Co-worker #1: How do people get mirrors to stay on the ceiling?
Co-worker #2: Not sure.
Co-worker #3: We used rubber cement. We put up a few four foot square mirrors, without frames.
Co-worker #1: Rubber cement? Did it hold good?
Co-worker #3: They've stayed up for four years, but my husband is too afraid to have sex without being covered with a blanket. He thinks they might fall and cut his dick off.
4150 Belden Village Street NW
North Canton, Ohio
Overheard by: Kyosho
12PM Call Clients
Portfolio Manager: She's pissed that I didn't sell the stock before it
went down.
Trader: Don't you know that you are supposed to know when that's gonna
happen?
Portfolio Manager: I guess not...
1900 East Ninth Street
Cleveland, Ohio
9AM Back to Work
Underling: Can I borrow your scissors?
Boss: Depends if you're going to committ any crimes.
Underling: Just crimes against filing.
1 Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
3PM Smoke Break
Worker #1: Wow, is that the moon over there?
Worker #2: No, no, that's the sun.
16530 Commerce Court
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: matt
5PM That's a Wrap
Co-worker #1: We have so much more room in the office now, [Erin] and I can dance.
Boss: Let's see you dance
Co-worker #2: Naw, she can't do it without a pole.
50 Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio
3PM Smoke Break
Banker: Yeah, he's losin' his eyesight...He can barely see now. He's got that immaculate degeneration or whatever it's called. But he still builds things with power tools. It's pretty amazing...but kinda scary.
200 Nationwide Boulevard
Columbus, Ohio
4PM Check Classifieds
Boss: You shouldn't keep your desk so clean.
Analyst: You want me to make a mess on my desk before I leave every night?
Boss: It's a perception thing.
1 American Road
Cleveland, Ohio
10AM Application Performance Testing
Tester #1: This kinda seems like that Olivia Newton-John video for Let's Get Physical, don't you think?
Tester #2: No.
901 Lakeside Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: mr.doitall
9AM Back to Work
Manager: I should send you guys a screenshot of my desktop. It looks like Bill Gates threw up all over it.
17601 Brook Park Road
Brook Park, Ohio
1PM Lunch
Worker #1: Did you know that Big Lots closed all of its furniture stores down? It was no IKEA but it sure had a few nice things in there. Damn I am full of gas this afternoon.
Worker #2: I didn't know they had furniture stores...
Worker #1: Yeah...They have surely came a long way since I was a kid. They always had like the crappiest food stuff. They are a close-out store, right?
Worker #2: I didn't know they had food.
Worker #1: Well, not food food, but like cereal.
Worker #2: Oh, shelf food. Yeah.
Worker #1: Yeah..I would totally not buy discontinued bananas. That's just rank.
1 Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
9AM Back to Work
Help Desk #1: If I'm going down it ain't gonna be for rocks. It'll be a bank or something.
Help Desk #2: Or manure.
1900 East 9th Street
Cleveland, Ohio
10AM Sales Meeting
Sales #1: That customer just called to thank me for doing my job. That's better than a kick in the nuts.
Sales #2: Just so you know, that offer is still on the table.
9772 Princeton Glendale Road
Cincinnati, Ohio
10AM Pre-meeting Prep
VP: Wow that sounds bad. Do we need to have a pre-meeting about that meeting?
3415 Vision Drive
Columbus, Ohio
1PM Lunch
Worker #1: Today was like International Day at McDonalds this morning. Not one person spoke with a Midwest accent...I was gonna be like, "Oh, they are so fucking up my breakfast."
Worker #2: Did you hear that there are more terrorists in Ohio?
Worker #1: Yeah? First they want to blow up our malls here in the city, now kill the President. They are always in Ohio. You never hear about them in like, Montana. That's where the Nazis are.
Worker #3: Yeah, the terrorists are up there on the 4th floor...You should go up there.
Worker #2: I'm not going up there.
Worker #1: They do have a nice floor up there.
1 Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
12PM Sitdown with HR
Art Director: What did you mean when you said that HR is going to work differently?
Exec: Oh, it's going to work now.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
9AM Back to Work
Cube #1: Did you know you can type "deferred" with one hand?
Cube #2: Couldn't you type any word with one hand?
Cube #1: Yeah...but you can type it with one hand.
Cube #2: Yeah...couldn't you type any word with one hand?
Cube #1: No...I mean, it means you can type it with one hand; the letters are all within one inch of each other. D-e-f-e-r-r-e-d.
Cube #2: Oh!...I definitely spelled that wrong.
One Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
4PM Reports Due at Printer
Editor: We don't have time to review the files. Have the vendors send their files directly to the printer. At this point, we're approving crap.
8787 Orion Place
Columbus, Ohio
4PM Retreat Planning Meeting
Committee Lead: Okay, how about some pros for holding the picnic at the zoo?
Committee Member: Monkeys slinging poo!
20800 Harvard Road
Cleveland, Ohio
1PM Lunch
Account Manager: I totally disagree with this, with every fiber of my being.
Creative Director: Wow, thats a lot of fiber.
720 East Pete Rose Way
Cincinnati, Ohio
4PM Order Supplies
Co-worker #1: You have a thing for my stapler, don't you?
Co-worker #2: I have to play with something. Better the stapler than myself.
127 Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio
4PM Department Meeting
Designer: Have you seen [Dustin] around?
Writer: Nope.
Designer: Hmm. I haven't checked his office yet.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
11AM Order Safe
Tech #1: Can I have the key to the IDF closet?
Tech #2: I don't have it, it's in the lockbox.
Tech #1: Well then, can I have the key to the lockbox?
Tech #2: It's not locked.
20800 Harvard Road
Cleveland, Ohio
5PM That's a Wrap
CSR on phone: Call back tomorrow and we'll see if we can get the world to revolve around you.
175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
10AM Staff Meeting
Manager: Don't send information; it just confuses me.
8787 Orion Place
Columbus, Ohio
5PM That's a Wrap
Co-worker #1: I just want to confirm that this is your fault.
Co-worker #2: Yeah.
Co-worker #1: Great. Thanks.
1932 Highland Avenue
Cincinnati, Ohio
10AM Staff Meeting
Director: If there is amy way to complicate things, we will find it.
8787 Orion Place
Columbus, Ohio
5PM Happy Hour
Editor #1: Why would they ding you?
Editor #2: They have to ding. Even if there is nothing wrong, they have to ding. It's psychological.
Editor #1: I need a beer.
8787 Orion Place
Columbus, Ohio
11AM Schedule Counseling
Boss: She's gone? And you're not going to be here tomorrow?
Secretary: Correct.
Boss: But I need counseling.
Designer: I agree!
175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
12PM Server Upgrades
Server support: The server is still taking errors?
Network support: Okay?
Server support: Did you run the new cable we asked for?
Network Support: Yes.
Server support: Are you sure you ran it to the correct server?
Network support: Yes.
Server support: Did you test the cable?
Network support: Yes.
Server support: How did you test it?
Network support: I farted on one end and I could smell it on the other.
1600 Dublin Road
Columbus, Ohio
12PM Fax Info
Supervisor: I need you to fax this enrollment form to the dental insurance company right away.
Peon: Shouldn't I make a copy first?
9111 Duke Boulevard
Mason, Ohio
2PM Client Meeting (Off-site)
Doctor's wife: You guys are going to get my husband's pracitice flagged by the insurance companies.
Biller: We only enter in the system what you have written on the charge ticket.
Doctor's wife: Well you guys are the billing company. You should know better not to trust everything you see.
221 West 21st Street
Lorain, Ohio
10AM Prepare Proofs
Manager: How many did [the client] say he wanted?
Secretary: He said none for this month, but he'll print next month, so send him a proof for March.
Manager: February?
Secretary: No, not this month, next month: March.
Manager: February?
11071 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
10AM Fill Out Forms
Worker #1: I made copies of these forms and highlighted what areas need to be filled out and why.
Worker #2: Oh, that's nice. I already know how to fill these forms out, but I need a guide.
221 West 21st Street
Lorain, Ohio
10AM Meeting with HR
Manager: So, is your girlfriend taking you out for your birthday?
Accountant: No, I'm going out with my friends.
Manager: If I were your girlfriend, I wouldn't put up with that shit.
Accountant: Well, you're not, and you don't have to.
Manager: ...It's not like you're allowed to marry your friends and have kids someday...
Accountant: Well, in some places you can.
Manager: That's it, you're fired!
6801 Brecksville Road
Independence, Ohio
10AM Order New Camera
Boss: Damn it! My camera is dead again!
Receptionist: Didn't you just replace those batteries a couple of days ago?
Boss: Yes.
Sales: Maybe you're out of megapixels.
1003 Distribution Drive
Columbus, Ohio
1PM Lunch
Employee #1: Did you smell that?
Employee #2: Why would he call us in there after doing that?
Employee #1: I don't think he knows; my grandma would fart all the time and nobody said a word. We figured she did not know.
Supervisor: I am going to White Castle, anybody want some sliders?
4501 West Mitchell Avenue
Cincinnati, Ohio
11AM Sign Off on Blueprints
Director: Hey, you got a tape measure?
Ops Coordinator: What do you need a tape measure for?
3 Nationwide Plaza
Columbus, Ohio
3PM Snack Break
Co-worker #1: I really want to go get a cookie from the food cube, but [Anne's] using the computer in there
Co-worker #2: Well, go get one anyway. And tell her to pull her pants
down.
127 Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio
9AM Back to the Office
Worker: It took me forever to get to work today. I don't mind the snow so much, but I wish it would only snow on the grass.
25101 Chagrin Boulevard
Beachwood, Ohio
11AM Close Deal
Sales: You quoted 3 different prices to this customer.
CEO: You're not calling me an idiot, are you?
Sales: I'm saying that having been given all the facts you made 3 incompatable decisions.
CEO: That's sufficiently blameless.
12819 Coit Road
Cleveland, Ohio
9AM Rise and Shine
Sales Manager: You are really getting on my nerves today!
General Manager: Good, I can cross that off my list!
2700 Corporate Exchange Drive
Columbus, Ohio
1PM Lunch
Designer: So I took the dead cat by the tail and chucked it over the fence and I thought, "Man. If the people at work could only see what a bumpkin I am."
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
1PM Christmas Party
Co-worker #1: Can you make those changes I requested?
Co-worker #2: Did you ever email me the information?
Co-worker #1: No. I'll have it to you in 10 minutes.
Co-worker #2: Sorry, party starts in 4 minutes.
1932 Highland Avenue
Cincinnati, Ohio
9AM Only One More Day...
Worker #1: Did you see the sign on the copier?
Worker #2: No, what did it say?
Worker #1: "Don't Touch Craig".
175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
4PM Tinsel Everything
Worker #1: Must be nice to have so much time to put up all these friggin christmas decorations.
Worker #2: You have time. You just never decorate.
Worker #1: That's right, everyone knows not to touch my area. I'd be pissed if they did.
Worker #2: Hmm...wait till tomorrow, I think I'll piss you off with some holiday cheer.
Worker #1: Go ahead, I'll just take it down. What a waste My husband does that crap at home too!
3949 Jefferson Road
Ashtabula, Ohio
1PM Lunch
Co-worker #1: Hey, tell them that story you were telling me the other day. The one about Burger King.
Co-worker #2: What story about Burger King?
Co-worker #1: You know...you were with your dad or your father-in-law...
Co-worker #2: The story where my father had a heart attack because of a Burger King sandwich?
Co-worker #1: ...Yeah.
Co-worker #2: That's the story.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
3PM Smoke Break
Co-worker #1: And with my right hand out of commission, you know what I figured out I couldn't do last night?
Co-worker #2: Uh...
Co-worker #1: Yeah.
175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
10AM Finalize Vacations
Co-worker #1: Where's [Kate]?
Co-worker #2: She's off all week.
Co-worker #1: I'm off Wed through Fri. What are you off?
Co-worker #3: Her rocker.
7000 Cardinal Place
Dublin, Ohio
Overheard by: Thenodrin
2PM Back Up Hard Drive
Student: Can you back up my papers and stuff?
Technician: Sure, how much is there?
Student: About four gigabytes...it's mostly porn but there are some papers mixed in there somewhere.
16 Petrarca Drive
Kent, Ohio
4PM Work on Audit
Manager: This audit is driving me crazy!
Receptionist: Oh, you won't have to drive there. For you, it's just a short walk.
50 East Exchange Street
Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: Ed Poe
9AM Where's My Tums...
Co-worker: She said I was giving her an ulcer...But I don't even have ulcers!
1127 Euclid Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
3PM Shannon's Goodbye Party
Admin: We're going to miss you around here.
Employee: Well, I'd like to say that I'll miss being around here, but that would be untrue, so I'm not going to say it.
6111 Oak Tree Boulevard
Independence, Ohio
4PM Software Upgrade Project...Kill Me Now
Manager: Since most of these are not used, let's go through and upgrade those first, then we'll see what's left.
Programmer: If they're not used, we don't need to upgrade them, right?
Manager: Right, but we need to figure out which ones are used.
Programmer: Can't we figure that out by eliminating the ones that aren't used without upgrading them?
Manager: No, we need to upgrade the obsolete programs first.
580 Walnut Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
3PM Coffee Break
Co-worker #1: How do you put up with that constant gossiping right next to your office?
Co-worker #2: I have a door.
1370 Ontario Street
Cleveland, Ohio
12PM Prepare Reports
Co-worker #1: You know that copier sorts on its own...
Co-worker #2: I know, I just like to press buttons.
2990 Mack Road
Fairfield, Ohio
Overheard by: Kimmie
4PM Market Research
Co-worker #1: I'm just not sure that the average person will be interested.
Co-worker #2: Hey, I'm interested, and I think I'm pretty average.
Co-worker #1: Yes, I'd have to agree with that.
264 Main Street
Wintersville, Ohio
3PM Coffee Break
Banker: You can't leave your coffee cup on the edge of my desk. A client almost drank out of it today.
Secretary: You know you want to lick my rim.
2 South Main Street
Youngstown, Ohio
2PM Hang Magazine Rack
Nurse #1: Do you want me to go through your legs?
Nurse #2: I can't believe you don't want to go through my legs to find the lower hole.
Nurse #1: Well, pull out the first one so I can see!
Nurse #2: Is it in?
Nurse #1: I don't know, I can't feel anything!
Nurse #2: I'm gonna pee my pants! I can't believe there's no one here to see this!
2990 Mack Road
Fairfield, Ohio
Overheard by: Kimmie
9AM Why, Monday, Why?
Co-worker #1: I'm really tired this morning.
Co-worker #2: Why don't you try Red Bull?
Co-worker #1: That stuff doesn't work for me.
Co-worker #2: Well, have you ever tried it without the vodka?
2783 Lancashire Road
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
9AM Doctor's Appointment
Doctor: Did you put the drugs in the drug room?
Nurse: No! I can't find where they are supposed to go. Every time I try and find the drugs in that room I want to kill somebody!
Doctor: Please don't. We shouldn't be killing any more patients anyway.
250 West Bridge Street
Dublin, Ohio
9AM They're At It Again
Phone drone #1: So this guy's going to call the Better Business Bureau because I suck.
Phone drone #2: You suck?
Phone drone #1: I don't just suck, I suck!
Phone drone #2: You suck what? Don't answer that.
175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
11AM Distribute Nameplates
Co-worker #1: Peter? Since when do you go by Peter?
Pete: Well, it was a more formal thing, so we used that.
Co-worker #1: I'm not used to seeing Peter.
Co-worker #2: That's not what we heard.
5450 Frantz Road
Dublin, Ohio
11AM Cancel Doctor's Appt.
Mental Health Advisor: He's crazy. He's gone off his meds because he thinks the doctors are trying to shrink his penis.
240 Calhoun Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
9AM Just One More Day
Co-worker: ...I like doing things like hiding grape soda and going into the women's bathroom after work to put up all the seats and write Missy's name on the wall.
1932 Highland Avenue
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Leigh
1PM Lunch
Butcher #1: What does that bacon look like to you
Butcher #2: An abortion?
Butcher #1: Exactly. So fix it!
1177 W. Market Street
Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: Nate Kelly
10AM Set Up Meeting
Employee: I have a few questions about wrapping up this project.
Supervisor: Great. Set up a meeting, I'm free all day.
Employee: How's 11AM this morning?
Supervisor: I can't make it then.
1111 Chester Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
12PM See If Jack Came
Man #1: Jack off today?
Man #2: No, not yet.
1 Air Cargo Parkway E
Swanton, Ohio
3PM Cancel Joe's Surprise Party
Receptionist: Joe Barnes, please come to the office, you have a phone call.
Employee: You might have to speak up. And also? If he shows up, I'm leaving.
Receptionist: Why, don't you like him?
Employee: No, it's not that, it's just that he's been dead for two years.
5900 West Chester Road
West Chester, Ohio
3PM Just So Long as You Don't Throw a Surprise Party
Co-worker: How much are you supposed to give when someone's mom dies? Because all I have is a five.
300 N. Commons Boulevard
Mayfield, Ohio
9AM Don't Put Him to Sleep Until After the Raise
Employee: Why can't you just install that for me?
Supervisor: Because I'm not going to spend an hour out of my day installing this on your crappy computer only to find out that it still doesn't work and end up spending even more of my precious time trying to fix something that isn't fixable and wind up making my life hell by hearing you bitch about this all the time. Only to make you happy.
Employee: So, is that a no?
Supervisor: You're damn right it is.
Employee: Well, then can I just get a new computer so I won't have this problem?
Supervisor: Fine. Anything to get you off my back.
Employee: Can I get a raise?
Supervisor: Don't push it.
Employee: I think you need to take a nap.
1801 E. 9th Street
Cleveland, Ohio
9AM Is That a BlackBerry in Your Pocket?
Employee: Is that you vibrating?
Supervisor: Yeah, I'm happy to see you.
1801 E. 9th Street
Cleveland, Ohio
12AM A Jewish Vampire, Apparently
CSR: Is Mike there?
Man: Do you know what day it is?
CSR: What does that have to do with anything?
Man: Well it's Sunday!
CSR: I know that! Can I talk to Mike?
Man: No it's Sunday and he isn't alive on Sunday because he's a vampire!
375 Ghent Road
Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: No Longer Employed
12AM The Wonders of Turning on Your Monitor
Co-worker #1: I just got a brand new internet!
Co-worker #2: A new internet? Is that possible?
Co-worker #1: Yeah! Looks totally different!
8100 Tyler Boulevard
Mentor, Ohio
Overheard by: Dana
1PM And It'll Never Be "The Boss"
Clerk: What is your occupation, ma'am?
Girl: Umm, a co-worker.
1 S. Maple Street
Jamestown, Ohio
1PM Dude, You're Not Getting That Dell!
Customer: Yeah, like I need to get this purchase authorized for school supplies and stuff.
CSR: Yes, sir. Can you tell me the primary cardholder's name?
Customer: Yeah, that would be me. My name is on the card.
CSR: No sir, you are on the account. I need the primary cardholder; is he available?
Customer: No, he is in Florida or Georgia or something. Dude call my Dad, he can tell you all about it.
CSR: I need to ask you some security questions first. Do you know the primary cardholder's date of birth?
Customer: Uh, dude, this really sucks...I can't remember his birthday...Dude that's pretty sad I don't even know my father's birthday.
CSR: OK, sir can you give me the last 4 digits of the social security number on the account for the primary cardholder.
Customer: Dude, are you kidding? I will tell you anything about me that you want to know I just want to get this stuff going, y'know?
CSR: Sir, can you hold?
Customer: Sure.
2 minutes pass.
CSR: OK sir, I have blocked the card. Please inform your father that he will need to give us a call to take the block off the card.
Customer. Dude, this fucking sucks. I have any information you need about me, why can't you call my dad?
CSR: I am not calling your dad sir, please inform him that he will need to give us a call to have the block taken off the card.
Customer: Dude you are really starting to piss me off, dude.
CSR: Sir you can't verify any of the security questions, and I can't approve this transaction.
Customer: ...Dude call my dad! He will give you anything you want to know.
CSR: I am not calling your dad, sir.
Customer: Dude, you have so just lost 4 accounts!
3615 Brotherton Road
Cincinnati, Ohio
1PM Now Does Everyone Know What a Dramasexual Is?
Jewish Co-worker: Yeah, my Grandpa owns a jewelry store,
Boss: Do you think there's any connection to the fact that a lot of Jews are Jew-elers?
Jewish Co-worker: Uh, no...
Boss: Because if that was the case, they should start calling landscapers...ital-scapers.
Jewish Co-worker: Wow.
32100 Solon Road
Cleveland, Ohio
7PM Only the Ones With Hearing Aids
Two nursing assistants were feeding old men at the home.
Nursing assistant #1: Wow, you're a really awesome chewer.
Nursing assistant #2: I bet you say that to all the guys.
694 Isaac Prugh Way
Kettering, Ohio
12AM Yes, But They Go Left to Right
Drone #1: This is one thing I didn't miss last week.
Drone #2: What? Elevators?
Drone #1: Yeah.
Drone #3: Don't they have them in West Virginia?
175 S. Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
12AM You Just Shouted It Across the WWW
Worker: Why do professional people talk so loud in an office environment? You know what I love? "Kitty-cats!" shouted down three offices.
175 S. Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
12PM Maybe He Can Put You on Overheard...Again
Co-worker: I figure, if he sends me to jail, I'm just going to call the judge a cocksucker. 'Cause at that point, what can he do?
6111 Oak Tree Boulevard
Independence, Ohio
12AM You Don't Have to Be Stupid to Work Here, But It Helps
Woman: I thought I was a smart person, but no, I'm not.
175 S. Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
8AM Sounds Like a Motivational Poster
Woman #1: I feel bad he's stuck talking to her. I feel like I should rescue him.
Woman #2: Oh, they deserve each other; they're both full of shit.
Woman #1: But his is a different kind of shit.
Woman #2: Yeah; his is bull, hers is horse.
175 S. Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
12AM When Racial Sensitivity Videos Come to Life
Black co-worker: You smell good; what are you wearing?
White co-worker: White Shoulders. I've worn it since I was sixteen.
Black co-worker: Do they make Black Shoulders?
White co-worker: Oh, we'll let you wear the White. This is America!
175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
8AM "...and don't expect a gift."
Coworker on phone: Are you getting married?...Well, I heard you was gettin' married...'Cause if you're getting married, I need to know about it and I don't want you to be my life insurance beneficiary anymore! I just want someone to feed my goddamn cats if something happens to me!
100 East Broad Street
Columbus, Ohio
