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Nebraska All Categories > Places > United States > Midwest > Nebraska
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3PM Unless He's in a Small, Enclosed Space -- That's Where He Does His Suicide and His Hurting
Grunt on phone: I have claustrophobia and am not suicidal. I am not going to hurt anybody.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: DB
12PM Something Wrong with Your Lap, Buddy?
Old sales associate: Can I help you find something?
Customer: Yeah, where are the TV trays?
Old sales associate: Huh?
Customer: TV trays -- which aisle are they in?
Old sales associate: I don't know what those are.
Customer: The trays you have in front of you while you watch TV. You know, TV trays. People eat on them.
Old sales associate: I don't think we sell those, but you might want to check Electronics.
Customer: Uh, sure.
Omaha, Nebraska
4PM Can I Go Home Sick Now?
Advising office applicant to interviewer: Yeah, advisors are worthless.
6001 Dodge Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Brandy
5PM What Do You Think "Gay" Means?
Patient: I'm going to see The Lion King tonight.
Nurse #1: Can you imagine doing shows like that every night, traveling all the time?
Nurse #2: Most of them are gay anyhow, so it's no big deal.
Red Cross van
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Taxman
4PM Just Demonstrate While I Take Photos
Woman holding inhaler: So I just cock it and suck on it?
Nurse: You might not want to put it just that way.
2955 Farnam Street
Omaha, Nebraska
2PM Not to Get Bogged Down in Technical Lingo...
Staff doctor to resident: You did a pelvic and you didn't charge for it? Girl, if you look at the coochie you gotta charge for it!
2955 Farnam Street
Omaha, Nebraska
4PM We're in a Roaring Metal Tube Full of Idiots -- It Couldn't Hurt
Flight attendant #1: I used to get high before studying for tests. Did you ever try it?
Flight attendant #2: No, no, I never did that.
Flight attendant #1: It really works... Hey, did you study the new rules for flights shorter than two hours? Lots of information.
Flight attendant #2: Are you high right now?
Flight attendant #1: ... Why do you ask?
United flight
Nebraska
Overheard by: Ken
12PM This Week I'm Speed-Reading a Case of Châteauneuf-du-Pape
Manager: Instead of wine night, we call it 'book club.'
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Doug's Mom
10AM And That's How She Won the Intel Science Competition
Student: But she did it with a chimera.
4200 Emile Street
Omaha, Nebraska
4PM So We Can Punish the Innocent
Employee to systems guy: So, first of all, we want the truth.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
5PM I Think They Start Dating the Owl
IT guy #1: When you work in a restaurant it seems like everyone starts dating each other. I once knew these two that worked at Subway, and they started dating.
IT guy #2: That's barely a restaurant.
IT guy #1: Do you think the girls at Hooters start dating each other?
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: DB
9AM They Can't Recruit, So They Have to Reproduce
College boy #1: She's engaged now.
College boy #2: What?!
College boy #1: Yeah, she just got engaged, like, a week ago.
College boy #2: That's gay.
12th & Q Street
Lincoln, Nebraska
Overheard by: Confused
5PM Because Sometimes the Purest Expressions of Love Need No Words
Coworker: Why won't any sex offenders talk to me?
1334 Dodge Street
Omaha, Nebraska
1PM I'd Say That's True of Anyone in Nebraska
White clerk to black clerk: What are you doing over in these parts? Slummin'?
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Doug's Mom
4PM Maybe You Should Try Singing with Your Mouth
Employee on phone: Church choir practice kicked my ass last night!
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: DB
9AM In the Same Way That Humans Are Made of 'Long Pig'
Dad: What are birds made of?
Little girl: Chicken?
505 Broadway
Scottsbluff, Nebraska
Overheard by: Chicken soup
9AM Won't They Need to Wait for Him to Get Back to Do That?
Employee #1: Is this Sammy's* or yours?
Employee #2: I think it's Sammy's.
Employee #1: I don't want to shuffle everything off to him since he's on vacation.
Employee #2: No, he's not here... let's screw him!
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: DB
12PM No One Intelligent Gets Married
Clerk #1: My nephew is getting married, and his mother is not happy.
Clerk #2: Why's that?
Clerk #1: Well she is Mexican, Italian or maybe from India. I don't know. They just don't like her. He's really intelligent, but they're worried about him quitting college now.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: unbelievable
11AM Personal Call
Coworker: Quit calling me at work, grandma!
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: DB
11AM Team Meeting (Cont'd)
Superintendent: We all know it is wrong, but this should make it not as wrong as it is now.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
9AM Back to Work
Clerk: I'm startin' the day with two "ah, shits" and not an "atta boy" in sight.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
3PM Smoke Break
Clerk #1: Hey [David], what are you up to?
Clerk #2: Working. You should try it sometime.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
9AM Back to Work
Clerk: I got an error message on that email I sent.
Manager: Well, then you aren't holding your mouth right, are ya?
Clerk: What?
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
10AM Staff Meeting
Manager: If we peed out our nose, then we wouldn't have this problem.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
3PM Smoke Break
Co-worker #1: So your wife works as a nurse in the ER at that new fancy hospital?
Co-worker #2: Yep. Has been for 6 months.
Co-worker #1: Do they treat people who come in without insurance there?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, treat them like shit.
1620 Dodge Street
Omaha, Nebraska
5PM That's a Wrap
CSR #1: What does IT stand for?
CSR #2: Idiotic tendencies.
CSR #1: Oh, so that's why we forward them all the stupid questions.
4800 NW 1st Street
Lincoln, Nebraska
Overheard by: customerserviceslave
3PM Coffee Break
CSR: Jesus, this coffee tastes like it was brewed in a colostomy bag.
Admin: I think it tastes delicious.
CSR: You would.
4800 NW 1st Street
Lincoln, Nebraska
Overheard by: customerserviceslave
4PM Double Check Figures
Co-worker #1: Hey [Rachel]: you're not a math person, are you?
Co-worker #2: Why, because I have breasts?
1014 Boswell Avenue
Crete, Nebraska
4PM Call [ColdCo]
Owner #1: We need to get the freezer fixed.
Owner #2: Well, we can call [ColdCo].
Owner #1: [ColdCo] raped us last time!
Owner #2: True. But this way at least we know our rapist.
201 North 78th Street
Omaha, Nebraska
10AM Cancel New Headset Order
Employee: My headset for my phone doesn't work. Can I have a new one?
Supervisor: Let me see that. Oh...you see what's wrong? Sometimes the data can get caught in the phone line...so just straighten the cord. That makes the voice data come through more quickly and it won't get all caught up.
11161 Mill Valley Road
Omaha, Nebraska
12PM Inventory
Employee: Hey, I have an open hour today. Is there anything you need?
Supervisor #1: Um, yeah. One of the ceiling tiles broke, and they don't make that type anymore, and in order to get an estimate redoing all the ceiling tiles, I need you to go around and count them.
Supervisor #2: Yeah...but in the corners: you know how they aren't full tiles? You need to measure them and figure out what percentage of a full tile it is. You know, so we can get an accurate assessment.
30 minutes go by.
Supervisor #1: Are you seriously counting all of those tiles?
Employee: Yeah, why? Oh, man. Fuck you guys.
11161 Mill Valley Road
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Bronxie
