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Oklahoma All Categories > Places > United States > Midsouth > Oklahoma
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9AM The Kind of Art Installation My Grandma Would Call "Unsavory"
Project manager: So, did you get it erected?
Yard coordinator: Yeah, the bed jumped off the platform during the release.
Project manager: Well, at least the piece was solid this time. I take it the vibrators worked better?
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Love my job
1PM What Smoke-Free Non-Coffee-Drinkers Do on Work Breaks
Reporter to another on deadline day: Hey, you wanna go kick each other in the balls and forget it's Thursday?
81st Street and Harvard Avenue
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: I don't have balls, but I know the feeling
4PM And I Meant What I Said about the Mullet
Sales assistant on phone: What? I thought you were a boy. Well, as long as they don't match.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: what?
2PM Clears That Cancer Right Up
Nurse: People just keep calling me and calling me about getting pain pills called in. They just need to be a little sauced up -- then they'd be fine!
14100 Parkway Commons Drive
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
5PM Just Accept That Some of Your Colleagues Will Be Scumbags
Male peon in restroom: Hey, I didn't know we had soap in here!
8110 South Harvard Avenue
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Icked out female coworker
4PM Psh, Like That Matters
Secretary: Wait, don't you have to be in the military to run for president?
Worker: No. I've taken karate in the past, so I get to skip that step.
Secretary: Oh... But do you really think you'd get enough votes?
5000 South Lewis Avenue
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Whoa Now
10AM But I Guess It's Not Like Anyone's Listening
Child welfare worker on cell: I won't be over at my client's place long. I just need to go there real quick and see her child naked... Maybe I shouldn't say this in the middle of a mall.
Woodland Hills Mall
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Bob
1PM And by "Worked" I Mean They've Learned to Live with It
Cube dweller: I don't see why people need fertility counseling. They should just buy some cheap liquor and rent a Camaro. It worked for everyone I know on the South Side.
Norman, Oklahoma
4PM Without Laughing My Ass Off
Coworker angrily hanging up: Geez! What is wrong with these customers?! I'm trying to watch a colo-rectal comedy on UTUBE!
2600 Van Buren Street
Norman, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Nina
5PM Before I Order I Want You Both to Wash Your Hands, Okay?
Cube rat to another: ... Or you could try masturbating five times in one day!
Customer, entering moments before: [Clears her throat.]
Cube rats: ... Shit.
NW 39th Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
4PM Dude, People Drink Out of That!
Office engineer #1: Why are you washing your hands in the water cooler?
Office engineer #2: Oh, I was playing with my dirty, failed parts.
Oil pump company
Claremore, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Tony
5PM Like Bob?
Former military guy: Yeah, back when I was enlisted we used to joke that if we ever won the lottery that we would take off all our military owned equipment and walk out the front gate of the base in nothing but our underwear.
Senior admin: Oh my gosh! Wouldn't that mean you would be considered AOL?
North MacArthur Boulevard
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
9AM We Need to Be Disoriented and Dangerous
Boss: We need to be the blind kids with the M16s playing soccer.
Suit: [Silence.]
Boss: You understand what I'm saying?
64th Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
9AM The Game's Decided -- They're Just Running Out the Clock
Election board office manager: I don't know if you're aware, but every election you need to contact all the local funeral homes about absentee voting.
Worker: Ummm, funeral homes? Don't you mean nursing homes?
Election board office manager: Oh, yeah. Whatever.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Xanadu
9AM The Things We Underwear-Users Take for Granted
Old lady on cell: Well, I went commando once, but the whole day I was just super paranoid. What if it got flies in it or something?
3501 Quail Springs Parkway
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
3PM I'm Just a Sub and Usually Teach Calculus
History professor after a long explanation: But I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, though.
University of Tulsa, 600 South College Avenue
Tulsa, Oklahoma
1PM They Come in Handy in Many Other Situations, Though
Boss commencing presentation with safety information: In case of fire, there are two exits to my rear.
411 Keeler Avenue
Bartlesville, Oklahoma
5PM I Don't Have to Imagine. Wait, Did I Say That out Loud?
Editor #1 watching CNN: Can you imagine how hot JonBenet would be by now?
Editor #2: What?
333 N Meridian Avenue
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
11AM The Resident's Box Has Always Been Public
Resident: Patient was seen today at his home. He's still complaining that the beams from Oregon are bothering him, but he said they aren't affecting him too badly right now. In fact, he said that they don't affect men too much in general - it's really women who should be worried about the beams, especially, he said, when they're aimed at women's private boxes.
Social worker: Did you just say private boxes?
Psychiatric clinic
Tulsa, Oklahoma
1PM And She Was So Smart for Figuring That Out
Girl: Did you notice the way their baby looked?
Guy: Um, yeah.
Girl: It's because she didn't do drugs or alcohol when she was pregnant. It makes a big difference, you know? That's why the baby is so smart.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
1PM Too Bad It's Another Part That Got the Clap
Girl #1: My boyfriend is in the pen.
Girl #2: For how long?
Girl #1: He's been there for three years.
Girl #2: Wow! You've been faithful to him for three years?
Girl #1: My heart has been...
2720 Villa Prom
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: FrancesDanger
5PM She Has Trouble Hearing When She's Going 'BLURGH!'
Guy #1: I was talking to Megan the other day. She is pretty cool.
Guy #2: Yeah, she is, but man, she is really bulimic.
Guy #3: Bulimic? What does that mean? Does that mean she's deaf?
YMCA
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: T
4PM Then I Got to Thinking That Maybe I Am Julie and Don't Know It
Co-Worker: Hello?
Voice on phone: Is Julie there?
Co-Worker: No. I'm sorry, but you have the wrong number.
Voice on phone: Oh, okay. Sorry.
Co-Worker: No problem.
Phone immediately rings again.
Co-Worker: Listen, man, you have the wrong number.
Voice on phone: Are you sure this is your number? I checked, and this is the same number that my friend Julie gave me. Could you call your number and ask her to call me back?
Co-Worker: Sure, just as soon as I get off the phone with you. [Hangs up phone] Jackass.
1200 Sovereign Row
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
5PM It's Either That or Get One of Those Helper Monkeys
Editor #1: I have finger toes.
Photographer: You mean like long and bony?
Editor #1: Yeah, I can, like, pick stuff up with them.
Editor #2: Do you pinch people with them?
Editor #1: Yeah. I always pinch [my wife]. She hates it.
Editor #2: God is just preparing you for when you lose your arms.
333 North Meridian
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: fransen comes alive
4PM Why IT Dude Is Regularly Beaten Up
Deputy: There was a wreck this weekend where a guy hit a tree at 60 miles per hour. Ripped off the right side of his head. You could actually see inside his skull. We never could find his brain, though.
Project manager: Did it kill him?
IT dude: Nope, he is walking around, managing projects.
US Highway 69/75
Oklahoma
Overheard by: Firewall
3PM Somehow, Terminated in Tulsa Doesn't Quite Have the Right Ring for Schwarzenegger's Next Vehicle
Co-Worker, on phone: When were the children terminated?...Were they terminated here in Tulsa? I'll need to see a copy of that order.
41st and Mingo
Tulsa, Oklahoma
5PM That's a Wrap
Coworker: I love that movie Dazed and Confused! It's one of those that you don't have to be smart to enjoy.
1200 Sovereign Row
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Jayce
1PM Sensitivity Training
Coworker: It's easy to determine who needs to take a sexual harassment class; just ask the person if "harass" is one word or two. If they say two, they need to take the class.
1200 Sovereign Row
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Not the guy who needs the class
4PM Internal Memo
Coworker: Not only am I an asshole here, I'm an asshole at home, too!
1200 Sovereign Row
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: shaun
1PM Dessert
Boss: Never put two cranky diabetics in the same room together. All you'll get is '"fuck this," "shit this," and "blood sugar that!"
1200 Sovereign Row
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: shaun
2PM Personal Call
Coworker on phone: You live in the country, they were there first! If you didn't want any animals you should have lived in the city!
333 North Meridian
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: fransen comes alive
4PM Performance Reviews Meeting
Exec: Hey [Nick], I've got a question for you.
Tax Manager: Yes?
Exec: I was thinking about you while I was in the shower this morning and--
Tax Manager: You probably shouldn't be thinking about me in the
shower [James]; you're a newly married man.
Exec: ...
123 Robert S. Kerr Avenue
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
2PM Budgeting Meeting
Co-worker: I swear, if this keeps up I'm going to throw myself on a bridge.
315 South Boulder Avenue
Tulsa, Oklahoma
2PM Review Candidates
Boss #1: We can use [Derek] as our field supervisor; he knows how to do the work.
Boss #2: Is he still a drunk?
Boss #1: Yeah. His wife left him.
Boss #2: He has always been a drinker.
Boss #1: So we'll put him in charge of everything and he can run the crews. We'll pay his expenses and give him the company truck.
Boss #2: Okay. Sounds good to me. Maybe stuff will start getting done now.
8221 NW Expressway Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
12PM Foreign Office Debriefing
Photographer: So there I am in my hotel room and there's hundreds of malaria mosquitos just flying around, and I'm thinking, "Well, isn't this great?"
333 North Meridian Avenue
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: fransen comes alive
11AM Work on RFP
Office Worker: This file won't unzip! Unzip, you! Dammit, unzip!
Supervisor: You should try sweet talking it a little bit. Maybe you should buy it dinner first.
105 North Hudson Avenue
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
2PM Server Update
Co-worker: Well, it's an intermittent problem that won't reoccur until it reoccurs.
333 North Meridian Avenue
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: fransen comes alive
3PM Smoke Break
Producer: So you're from Iowa?
Consultant: No, Ohio.
Producer: Illinois?
333 North Meridian Avenue
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
9AM Yet I Still Wish It Were Sunday...
Support Desk: I wonder why preachers are so hateful? Out of all the customers I've dealt with, preachers are all so mean. They're worse than Canadians
5330 East 31st Street
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: donrae moore
11AM Customer Service Retraining
Co-worker #1: Did you just say you asked the location to give the
customer a little ass?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, ass...ya know, assistance.
Co-worker #1: Um...once again...ass is not the abbreviation for
assistance.
Boss: What's going on?
5330 E. 31st Street
Tulsa, Oklahoma
6AM We're Not As Stupid As You IT A-holes Think...
IT guy: Do you have a license to install Photoshop?
Employee: You need a license?
IT guy: Yeah.
Employee: It's not that hard to install, you just double click on the icon.
IT guy: You don't understand.
Employee: Yeah I do, I'm just fucking with you. Jokes are funny.
2 W. 2nd Street
Tulsa, Oklahoma
12PM The Religious Right Have Taken Over the Old Testament, Too
Co-worker #1: Hey, what movie was that from?
Co-worker #2: I don't know. Let's hear it again.
Co-worker #1: No "let's hear it again!" It was a great movie, made in 1959. Something about a Jew. Got falsely accused of attacking a governor.
Co-worker #2: I don't know.
Co-worker #1: It had Jesus or someone in it. Great movie.
Co-worker #2: Ten Commandments?
192 S. Utica Avenue
Tulsa, Oklahoma
