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Louisiana All Categories > Places > United States > Midsouth > Louisiana
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4PM Just Easily Distracted. Look -- a Bug!
Accountant: It was my son's first day of second grade, and it took him two hours to do his homework.
Sales rep: Awww, poor guy. What kind of homework?
Accountant: It was a word search...
Sales rep: [Silence.]
Accountant: But he's not stupid or anything.
2100 Lafayette Street
Louisiana
1PM So You Might Want to Hold Your Nose
Accountant to another: Have I mentioned that I need to depreciate?
Anselmo Lane
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Carlen
5PM Hint: Last Year's Office Christmas Party
Merchandiser #1: Do you really want to name this catalog spread 'Circle Jerk'? Doesn't that sound a little porn-ish?
Merchandiser #2: Why? What do you think 'circle jerk' means?
Monroe, Louisiana
9AM I Can't Believe We Give Out an Award for That, Anyway
Suit to another: So I am supposed to feel vindicated because my father is a bigger liar than I am?
300 Block of Julia Street
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: dyslexicMot
10AM Plus, I'm a Cat Owner, If You Follow Me
Receptionist #1: Oh we're sorry.
Male customer, trying to pick up his cat from the vet: What?
Receptionist #1: We were talking about personal stuff.
Receptionist #2: Yeah, aren't we typical women? Talking about guys?
Male customer: Well, to be honest, like a typical guy, I wasn't paying attention.
Magazine Street
New Orleans, Louisiana
10AM And Each Evening I Hose Down the Sidewalk
Manager on phone: Yeah, I've got a little apartment on the gay side of the French quarter. Sometimes in the morning I have to beat them off to get out my doorway.
4621 West Napoleon Avenue
Metairie, Louisiana
Overheard by: PeauxBoy
11AM I Wouldn't Put That Off
Cajun: Now I'm thinking about filling the giant jar of babies I have with formaldehyde.
Goodwood Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Booyakish
5PM Dare to Dream, Buddy
Nurse: After you finish giving your sample, place it in the door in the wall and come to the lab where we'll do your pregnancy test.
Patient to man waiting with her: I'll be out in a minute.
Man to nurse, excited: There's a good chance that I'm the father!
616 Court Street
Oberlin, Louisiana
Overheard by: Vicky
12PM Oh, Okay. Tweetie.
Teen girl, holding a bag with a dead bird inside: My grandfather called earlier about getting this bird checked for West Nile virus. He found it in his yard.
Office clerk: Ok, I remember talking to him this morning. I need to get some information from you first. Now, what was his name?
The girl's eyes get big, and she looks at the bag.
Office clerk: No, not the bird's name. I need to know your grandfather's name.
616 Court Street
Oberlin, Louisiana
Overheard by: Vicky
2PM What You Just Snorted Two of?
Reading tutor #1: It's your turn.
Reading tutor #2: Shut up, I know. I'm thinking. [Places letter on Scrabble board] There.
Reading tutor #3: What's a gee-ram?
Reading tutor #2: Gram, you idiot.
Lusher Elementary School, Lowerline and Willow
New Orleans, Louisiana
3PM Slushie Run
Coworker#1: Okay, I'm back.
Coworker#2: Where did you go?
Coworker#3: We went to get a slushie.
Coworker#2: What? Where's mine?
Coworker#1: You didn't say you wanted one.
Coworker#2: Well, must my slushie needs be known to everyone? I just can't believe you went without even asking me.
Coworker#3: How is she supposed to know if you wanted a slushie?
Coworker#2: I always ask her if she wants one when I go. I even give her money if she wants one. Oh, and look now. Now your're drinking it in front of me.
Coworker #1: Dude! You never said you wanted one. You even saw me walk out. Do you even want one?
Coworker# 2: No, I'm fine.
19219 N 4th Street
Covington, Louisiana
10AM Mail Contracts
Warehouse worker: Can you fax this document to a P.O. box for me?
Shipping clerk: Usually I would "fax" this to a P.O. Box for you [Gina], but my fax machine is down right now. So maybe you should "buy" a stamp and use the Postal Service for this one!
Warehouse worker: Oh, okay, thanks for the help. Where do we keep the
stamps and who works in the Postal Service?
495 3rd Street
Pineville, Louisiana
Overheard by: Lesn N. Tothem
12PM Upgrade Software
Staff: Hey, can one of you help me fix--
IT: Go away before I replace you with a very small shell script.
7117 Florida Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: CP
4PM Man Support Desk
Customer: Hey, the spell checker is broken. When I type in complete
gobbledygook, it doesn't mark that as wrong. Can you fix that?
Tech: When you learn how to type real words and they are misspelled, then you are allowed to ask me questions.
9598 Cortana Place
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
2PM Review Candidates
District Supervisor: Wait, maybe I misunderstood him, but was he saying "Bachelor's Degree"?
Regional Manager: Actually, the words he used were "Bastard's Degree."
District Supervisor: Ha, ha! I thought so but I didn't think he could be that ignorant.
Regional Manager: Well, he is a retarded ex-con with personality disorders.
District Supervisor: Yeah, you're right.
3651 Cedarcrest Avenue
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Joshua Carpenter
9AM It's a Bright, Sun-Shiny Day
Boss: Those are pretty. Who are they from?
Secretary: Myself. Sorry men send flowers. I don't need any sorry men in my life.
8555 United Plaza Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
1PM Lunch
Co-worker #1: I mean he did a complete 360, and the worst part is I never saw it coming.
Co-worker #2: Well, you know they say that hindsight is 50/50.
112 Thomas Boyd Hall
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
10AM Set Up Booth
Interviewer: So, how long have you been at this address?
Applicant: All day until I heard about this job fair.
450 Clyde Fant Parkway
Shreveport, Louisiana
10AM Review Napoleonic Code
Attorney #1: The governor suggested that everyone not evacuating write their social security number on their arm in indelible ink. I'm going to go through our database and tattoo the SSN of our richest client on my chest with my children as beneficiaries.
Attorney #2: You better get that tattoo on your ass because you're going to be floating face down in the floodwater.
8555 United Plaza Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
4PM Keep a Straight Face Until 5
Co-worker #1: Does the administrator know that her hair looks like that? She looks like a mental patient!
Co-worker #2: Yes! She did that on purpose, I mean she used bobby pins and hair spray.
Co-worker #1: Everyone is laughing at her. Should we tell her?
Co-worker #2: Don't you dare! This is the best day of my life!
1024 N. Foster Drive
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
12AM Just Don't Ask About the Exit
A knock is heard and then the visitor asks: Hello, is this the entrance to this door?
1405 Admiral Doyle Drive
New Iberia, Louisiana
Overheard by: chris the toadie
