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Kentucky All Categories > Places > United States > Midsouth > Kentucky
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2PM But That Was Just with Money.
Supervisor: Good job!
Needy peon: Really?
Supervisor: Yes, of course! Why don't you ever believe me?
Needy peon: 'Cause last week I said, 'I trust you,' and you said, 'Oh, God, don't do that!'
Supervisor: Oh, yeah...
Louisville, Kentucky
9AM Now, Would You Stop Bench-Pressing Me?
Supervisor to file clerk: You know, I really don't see you in the corporate workplace at all... I see you somewhere doing something violent like the American Gladiators or something.
101 South 5th Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Candice
4PM Geez, Don't Be Such an Eyeore.
Bank assistant VP #1: It all comes, said Pooh, of not hiring the right people.
Bank assistant VP #2: Exactly... Wait, did you say 'said Pooh'?
9th Street
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
9AM If You Know What I'm Saying
Female customer: You know, Walt Disney was afraid of mouses.
Friend: Yeah, he also had one in his house.
501 West Lincoln Trail Boulevard
Radcliff, Kentucky
9AM Keeps Trying to Have the Bakery Slice Her Dog
Assistant manager: Ma'am, you can't bring that puppy in here. We're going to have to ask you to leave.
Lady carrying puppy: What? It's a goddamn puppy! Suck my dick!
Assistant manager: You're going to have to leave.
Lady carrying puppy, leaving: Fuck you, bitches!
Assistant manager, cheerfully: Goodbye! Shop again!
7747 Mall Road
Florence, Kentucky
10AM He's Modeled after That Guy from Chasing Amy
Peon #1: Where's Kevin* today?
Peon #2: What is it, Thursday? Guess it depends on whether he's black or gay today.
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
11AM It's the Stooges, on Conference Call
Tech on phone: Hello, sir, I'm calling to-- Yes, hello, this is Aaron* from-- Yes, hello, I'm calling to verify an order you placed wi-- Don't say 'hello' again! I know you can hear me!
216 Mitch Lane
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
4PM Hey, Listen, I Gotta Go Fly a Plane. Talk to You Later?
Loud guy on cell: No way! Last time they didn't charge me with a felony!
Blue Grass Airport
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: Glad to be leaving the States
5PM Why Larry Got the Shaft
Branch manager looking for small, hand-held calculator: I need one of those hand jobs in the lobby.
808 South Main Street
Elkton, Kentucky
Overheard by: will66
2PM I Myself Am a Pepperoni-American
Professor: America is a melting pot.
Dude: America is not a melting pot... It's more of a Lunchable. We are all in the same place, but we keep to our own little compartments.
1906 College Heights Boulevard
Bowling Green, Kentucky
Overheard by: hyacinth_hunter
9AM Do You Really Want to Go There, Madame Days-of-the-Week?
Female manager to frustrated sales rep: Just put your big girl panties on and deal with it!
Business owner, over her shoulder: Oh, oh! Stern words from Miss Kello-Kitty-pants!
4th Street
Louisville, Kentucky
2PM I Could Let Her Hurt Feelings Control Me. But No.
Coworker #1, distraught: I'm leaving now. I probably won't be back till tomorrow.
Clueless manager: Okay, have fun! [Distraught coworker sobs and runs out.]
Coworker #2: Um... You know she's having her dog put to sleep, right?
111 Madisonville Street
Crofton, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
2PM It's Just Confusing Me
Media agency lady: Yeah, I met one of your constituents last week.
Sales rep: Well, that would be Ted*, I'm guessing.
Media agency lady: No, it was some sweet young thing.
Sales rep: Oh, well, then that would be Mindy*.
Media agency lady, laughing: Yeah, it was Mindy. Mindy is a piece of work [laughs harder].
Sales rep, chuckling nervously: Wow, that makes me want to ask you so many questions!
Media agency lady, wiping tears from her eyes: Yeah, I bet it does... None of which I would answer, but the fact that you want to ask them should tell you something.
Louisville, Kentucky
1PM Oooh, Little Cuts!
Husband: They have fajitas.
Wife: I don't like ordering Mexican food from non-Mexican restaurants.
Husband: You don't like anything.
Wife: I like lots of things!
Husband: Liar!
Wife, after repeatedly hitting husband with menu: I liked that!
TGIFriday's
Bowling Green, Kentucky
4PM Diagnosis: Stupidity, Aggravated by Shame
Caller: I was trying to complete my request with your voice automated system, but it would not accept my diagnosis code.
Phone rep: Okay... what is your diagnosis code?
Caller: Oh... I don't have a diagnosis code.
201 West Main Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Juice
9AM You're Just Too Macho to Say 'I Love Her'
Guy #1: She was hurt pretty bad in a car wreck a few years ago. She told me she hurt her knee, her back, and her brain.
Guy #2: Wait... So you have been pursuing a girl that has brain damage?
Guy #1: Hey, her vagina works.
571 South Floyd Street
Louisville, Kentucky
12PM Many Bosses Communicate Only by Email
Boss interrupting employees: What's going on?
Girl employee in middle of conversation: Are you circumcised? [Boss turns and leaves, shaking his head.]
4th Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Amazed Colleague
11AM Oh, You Worked for the Government?
Male employee: I had an uncomfortable experience with someone putting something in my butt.
Louisville, Kentucky
5PM When Total Immersion Goes Too Far
Anthropology student: Hey, I got the turds for the ass game!
Locust Lane
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: don't want to know
11AM Personally, I Mastered the Whole Fork-to-Mouth Thing over a Year Ago
Blonde: Oh, you can't make the appointment tomorrow?
Older lady: No, I have a rehearsal dinner tomorrow.
Blonde: Oh, wow! What play are you in?
Older lady: No, a rehearsal dinner is for a wedding.
Blonde: Oh! ... Why do you have to rehearse dinner?
Westport Road
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Glad I'm not blonde
12PM Nothing but the Finest Flowers and Candy for My Girls
Chicken farmer introducing new business partner to bank teller: This is Jose*. I teach him to love my chickens.
808 South Main Street
Elkton, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
4PM She Fell for Midas Muffler's Free Breast Exam Promotion
Black woman on cell: All he did was look at my vagina, and I owe him 300 dollars?
Federal Credit Union, 2nd Avenue and Chestnut Street
Louisville, Kentucky
10AM The Nexus of the Late '80s Savings and Loan Debacle
Bank teller supervisor: She started working there when she was 18, and now she's 46. Yeah, she's been there 36 years.
1813 E 9th Street
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will66
5PM Especially When it Leaks out the Hole in my Side
Student: Ooooh, grape juice! I love drinking grape juice. It makes me feel like Jesus.
Eastern Kentucky University Dining Commons
Richmond, Kentucky
4PM Unveiling the Official Phallic Status Symbol for the Twenty-First Century
CSR: Hey, your phone's open!
Courier: [looks at his crotch]
1813 East 9th Street
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
3PM There Are Two Schools of Parenting, But Only One Wins Football Games
Guy #1: I can't believe parents starve their kids to make weight for football! I mean, what would you say to your kid?
Guy #2: "You better make weight, you fat little bitch!"
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: CB
5PM Should I Wait to Be Invited to the Celebration or Just Invite Myself?
Male employee to female employee: Now hold on. You just wait until I whip it right out...Then we can celebrate.
Nearby male co-worker: I feel so uncomfortable right now.
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: CB
9AM Anyway, We're Not Sure You're the Sort of Sales Rep We Want at Dead Cat in a Basket, LLC
Older woman: Yes, I have fifteen years of commission-only sales experience, and I'm accustomed to traveling four days out of the week.
Interviewer: Oh, um, well that's great. Um, yes, some of our new hires don't like traveling because it's so lonely and can be far from home and, um, you know, like solitudish and lonely.
Older woman: That's okay with me. Travel is fine, but I can't travel for three weeks out and one week home. I have two cats. I can leave them for four days at a time but not three weeks.
Interviewer: Oh. Well, that's unfortunate 'cause we really would like you for the job. Well, um, if something would happen that would mean you could take this job, um, like I won't get into what that would be or anything morbid or sad or anything...but you could always re-apply.
6500 Matalin Place
Louisville, Kentucky
2PM Or 'That Was Lovely, Your Honor. Let's Get Some Sleep'?
Attorney: What are we supposed to say when withdrawing? "I'm sorry, Your Honor, but it seems my client has fled the country"?
319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: J.C. Tabler
12PM It's the Color Your Heart Turns When You Reject God's Will
Sales manager: So as of our next issue, the logo will no longer be purple.
Rep: How come?
Sales manager: Because purple is associated with homosexuals.
Rep: I thought rainbow colors were the gay color tip-off?
Sales manager: No, it's purple. And I know that's true because that's what they paint their front doors.
Rep: I have never heard that. Why would they do that?
Sales manager: So they can identify themselves to each other.
Rep: Oh, I get it. So when they're driving around the city they can say, "Oh look, Dwayne, a purple door! Let's stop in and get some decorating tips!"
600 East Main Street
Louisville, KY
9AM Back to Work
Employee: Welcome back. Are you feeling better?
Supervisor: Well, I am fully clothed.
1930 Bishop Lane
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Eve's Dropper
5PM That's a Wrap
Coworker #1: She was such a bitch to me for no reason! I think I'm beginning to hate people.
Coworker #2: You used to like people before working here? That's so freakin' cute!
430 W Vine Street
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: I Heart Condescension
11AM Smoke Break
Bookseller: I cleaned up all the damn puppets. All of them! Then, watched as a father allowed his children to throw all of them on the floor, play for an hour, then leave them. He grinned at me, said 'Kids, right?', then left. It took all I had not to tear that grin off his face, and shove it so far up his fucking ass that I could then reattach it backwards...Wow, four hours really is too long to go without a cigarette!
Cashier: That was the best image I've had all day. Go smoke so that I can savor it alone.
430 W Vine Street
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: Laughing coworker
12PM Lunch
Attorney's wife: I'm getting so fat.
Attorney: You're not fat.
Attorney's wife: Aw, well...
Attorney interrupts: You're old. You just look fat.
319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky
9AM Back to Work
Teller: I haven't decided yet if I'm going to see The Da Vinci Code. I want to see it, but if I do I'll feel like I'm. . . supporting. You know?
Bank AVP: . . . Supporting?
Teller: The Devil!
Long pause
Bank AVP: Tom Hanks is the devil?
48 Clifty Kirkmansville Road
Clifty, Kentucky
9AM Back to Work
Attorney #1: I stepped on a baby bird this morning on the way into the courthouse.
Attorney #2: The jokes are right. We don't have souls.
319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky
10AM Client Meeting
Boss: You know that project we just finished?
Lackey: Yes.
Boss: We need a project plan that details what we did, how we did it, and how long it took.
Lackey: Um, I don't know that.
Boss: Me neither, but the client will be here in an hour and they want to see a plan.
10000 Linn Station Road
Louisville, Kentucky
9AM Back to Work
Co-worker #1: Looks like [Sara] broke her foot.
Co-worker #2: I think her footbones just buckled under the pressure.
1939 Dixie Highway
Fort Wright, Kentucky
4PM Retreat Planning Committee
Boss #1: So this year's convention will be at the MGM Graham in Las Vegas...What?
Boss #2: Did you say "graham" like graham cracker?
Boss #1: It's not "graham"?
3411 Pinnacle Gardens Drive
Louisville, Kentucky
10AM Division Meeting
Division Manager: I hate it when logic happens.
1930 Bishop Lane
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Doug Whitworth
2PM Hearing
Secretary: How'd things go with the Sixth Circuit?
Paralegal: Hold on, let me re-enact it. You be Tuck, I'll be the judge. Now get me a ballbat and stand still while I beat you with it for thirty minutes straight.
Tuck: Ha...ha...ha.
319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Tuck's Boss who he thinks doesn't know about this site
11AM Hearing Prep
Attorney: My head hurts, my mouth tastes like crap, I haven't shaved in four days and my suit is wrinkled. I think I'm hung over.
Secretary: Well, what do you have to do today?
Attorney: DUI hearing to try and get [Leonard] off the hook.
319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky
10AM Post Job Listing
Secretary: I can write memos like it's my job.
Boss: That is your job.
100 East Rivercenter Boulevard
Covington, Kentucky
4PM Rightsizing Committee
Consultant: This meeting is just too important to involve company employees.
100 East Rivercenter Boulevard
Covington, Kentucky
3PM Coffee Break
Accountant: Why did you switch from coffee to green tea?
Analyst: Tea is easier on my throat and it has more antioxidants.
Accountant: What are antioxidants?
Analyst: They keep me from having oxidants...Come on! That's funny, dammit!
100 East Rivercenter Boulevard
Covington, Kentucky
12PM Project Meeting
Employee: I figured out a good way to make our guests happy.
Manager: How's that?
Employee: Remorseless lying.
1939 Dixie Highway
Fort Wright, Kentucky
9AM Back to Work
Junior Partner: I'm leaving at noon today because I think I put my underwear on backwards this morning.
Senior Partner: I really don't know how to respond to that.
319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Tuck Tabler
9AM Back to Work
Supervisor: Okay, let me give you some advice. I've seen a lot of Lifetime movies, and--
Employee: You know, I think I gotta ask someone else about this. Thanks, though!
107 Jackson Street
Berea, Kentucky
9AM Back to Work
Attorney: Did you spray the air freshener after you used the bathroom?
Secretary: ...We're getting to know each other too well in this office.
319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Tuck Tabler
4PM Call [the Client]
Secretary: [The client] keeps calling and asking for me. And you know what? The next time he does that, I'm going to tell him that you lied to him.
Boss: What? Why?
Secretaty: Because you tell him you're going to do all these things for him, and you don't!
Boss: That's because he's an idiot!
527 West Jefferson Street
Louisville, Kentucky
7PM Imagine Trying to Explain Semi-colons to Her
Supervisor: Yes?
Temp: Are the dot by the letters and the dot by the numbers the same thing?
11405 Bluegrass Parkway
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: powerof3
1PM Separating the Boys from the Mens' Room
Guy #1: Why did you only wash one hand?
Guy #2: I only peed on one hand.
Guy #1: You're an idiot.
737 S. 3rd Street
Louisville, Kentucky
6PM Christ's Business Cards Were English-only
Woman on phone: I was supposed to make the business card English on one side and Japanese on the other, and I put Chinese...and I apologize for it, it was dishonest of me...I didn't think anyone would notice...but I'm a Christian person and I don't want to die and go to hell, I'd rather apologize and make it right and go to heaven...I know it's a little thing but I'm a Christian...
2301 South Third Street
Louisville, Kentucky
8AM The Email Never Came
Girl tech: We are blocking emails to our customers with the word disbursement in it because of "semen".
Head tech dude: Semen?
Guy tech #1: Are you sure semen isn't somewhere else?
Guy tech #2: Semen? Like the nasty stuff?
Head tech dude: We'll have to adjust the filter, we are blocking reimbursement too.
Girl tech: Jeez, this blocking could cause all sorts of problems.
9001 Shelbyville Road
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Andy Goss
