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Connecticut All Categories > Places > United States > Metro Northeast > Connecticut
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11AM Then I Want You to Stay on the Phone with Me 'til He Gets Here
Customer: Can you tell me if the installer is running on time today?
CSR: I have no way of knowing that, sir. Your appointment is scheduled between twelve and four today. If the installer is not there by four, then you can call back and we can tell you that he is running late.
Enfield, Connecticut
12PM What the Hell Am I Doing Up in This Helicopter?
Boss: ... And the first thing I thought was, 'I can't read this without liquor!'
6900 Main Street
Stratford, Connecticut
4PM Congratulations: You've Got the Job!
Peon #1: You know what I can't wait to do?
Peon #2: Let me guess -- dip, masturbate, take a shit.
Peon #1: And...?
Peon #2: Drink?
Peon #1: So you are listening.
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: anon
10AM If We Keep Talking in Circles, the Truth Will Throw Up
CR manager: The membership grade is effective for a year from the grad date that they told us, but I don't think they'll remember the grad date they said... But it's not actually a year...
Ad manager: But it's good for a year. Doesn't it update automatically?
CR manager: It is automatic, except when it isn't. It only gets updated once a year, so it may be good for over a year.
Ad manager: So we can't say a year if it isn't a year.
14 Fairfield Drive
Brookfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: all ears
11AM And Then Offered Us a Bite
Cube dweller #1: Oooh, Friday is in full swing.
Cube dweller #2: What makes you say that?
Cube dweller #1: You just used the phrase 'fetus piece.'
35 Thorpe Avenue
Wallingford, Connecticut
Overheard by: jesse
12PM Which Answer Will Get Me Change?
Cube girl #1: Do you have change for a ten?
Cube girl #2: Do I look like a stripper?
Stratford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Deek
1PM My Hard Drive's Been Zionized
Bored tech guy: Can I help you?
Bimbette: Yeah, um, I need an update on my anti-Semitic virus program.
Bored tech guy: You mean 'Symantec'?
Bimbette: Yeah, that's what I said -- anti-Semitic.
Quinnipiac University
Hamden, Connecticut
5PM So Other Than That, Things Are Good?
Counter guy on phone: Where are you? What is that sound? ... Oh! I knew it was a tornado!
Connecticut
12PM Yeah, the Cardinal's Vestments Totally Rocked
Cube girl: It was like Donald Trump in Hammer pants.
Stratford, Connecticut
2PM Urge to Know Fading... Fading...
Library patron: Can you help me? I don't remember how to turn the computers on.
Employee: Well, this one's already on, see? [Wiggles mouse to activate screen.]
Library patron: Oh... What about this one? I don't like that one.
Employee: Well, this one's off, so I'll turn it on [presses power button].
Library patron: Ah, so they each have a little trick. What about this one? [Proudly swishes mouse.]
Employee, frustrated: No, see, if the green light is off, then you press the button.
Library patron: Whatever you say...
130 Wall Street
New Haven, Connecticut
1PM It's Really More about Whether You Bring in Good Snacks
Supervisor: Why do you want to do this?
Mid-level worker: Because no one else is, and it needs to be done.
Supervisor: No one cares how hard you work! This isn't that kind of place!
State government building
Connecticut
2PM When Lactose Intolerants Dream
Weird coworker: I had a nightmare, too! I was standing in a pool eating taquitos, except they were filled with cream cheese and fruit!
111 Founders Plaza
East Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Bamber
11AM Women.
VP: They're all doable. We're just not able to do most of them.
Norwalk, Connecticut
Overheard by: Cautiously Optimistic
4PM By American Standards That Makes Him a Good Father
Office guy: He's married with two kids, but all he does is play Xbox.
Office girl: That's not good.
Office guy: Well, he does find time to do other things, like, you know, play with his kids and smoke weed.
Connecticut
4PM We Figured You Upgraded from Food Crumbs
Male coworker covered in cardboard: Thanks for telling me I've been walking around with box all over my chest.
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: K-Slim
5PM Amphibians Have Always Been the Key to American Wealth
Woman: What would you do with a million dollars?
Man: I would buy all the frogs in the world and start a frog farm!
111 Founders Plaza
East Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Bamber
3PM But If a Cops Film Crew Shows Up, the Shirt Is History
Seminar coordinator: Between keeping my shoes on and keeping my britches on, there'll be no running from me!
14 Fairfield Drive
Brookfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Marissa
10AM That's Really at the Heart of All of Our Marital Issues, Doctor
Cake decorator: It's because you hit me with the fish!
1 Kent Road
New Milford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Nik
5PM I'll Refer You to the Hackers' Bible...
IT guy: I don't know about your god, but my god says it's okay.
Stamford, Connecticut
1PM What Are You Getting At?
Nurse: How much do you weigh these days?
Patient: A hundred twenty-one pounds.
Nurse: And the scale you are using is accurate?
Doctor's office
Connecticut
9AM When Nuns Teach Sex Ed
Customer service rep: I don't know what that is, but let me explain it to you.
Wallingford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Cubicle Co-Worker
11AM Except for Some Reason I Keep Getting Pregnant
Coworker: If I ever have a kid, I'm going to send them to Catholic school. I went to Catholic school and I feel I got a gooder education.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
3PM No Problem, Then
Coworker #1 on speakerphone: How do I Google something?
Coworker #2: Go to W-W-W dot Google dot com. Then just use it like any other search engine.
Coworker #1: What's a search engine?
Coworker #2: You know, like when you use Yahoo or MSN to look something up.
Coworker #1: I've never Googled before in my life, and I never want to again!
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
Overheard by: it actually got worse
3PM 'Bobby Brown'
Boss to newbie: Yay! So, tomorrow's Casual Friday, so you don't have to wear a tie. I usually wear shorts. You know, you can get away with a lot of casual clothing, but a certain dress code does still apply. You've got to wear a shirt... Although, so far no one has tried a wife beater. Hey, that'd be a way for you to make a name for yourself!
Glastonbury Boulevard
Glastonbury, Connecticut
4PM Well, We're at an Impasse, Then
Controller to president: I'm ready, baby, what do you wanna do? You wanna do it in my office? C'mon baby, what do you wanna do?
President: I want for you not to touch me with your viral infections.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
11AM More of a Tax Shelter with a Police Force
Physics teacher: How thick do you think a steel pole would have to be that connected the Earth and the moon if there were no more gravity?
Student #1: 10 inches?
Student #2: Five miles?
Student #3: No, way bigger than that.
Physics teacher: It would be about the size of the state of New York.
Student #1: Damn.
Student #2: Ha! I was right!
Student #3: You think that New York is five miles across?!
Student #2: Okay, that's more like Delaware-sized. Is Delaware even a state?
Staples High School
Westport, Connecticut
10AM I Don't Know about You, but I Am Not Working after Death
Pilot over intercom: Sorry, folks. We've just lost power to one of our engines. Looks like our arrival time in Washington will be 40 minutes behind schedule.
Disgruntled woman: Better hope we don't lose that second engine.
Travel partner: Yeah, really.
Disgruntled woman: If we're 80 minutes late we'll miss that meeting!
Travel partner: Wait, what?
Flight from Bradley International
Windsor Locks, Connecticut
2PM Dude, If You Can Put It in Your Own Box, You Should Charge Admission!
Suit: We need to start putting our meat in someone else's box.
401 Merritt 7
Norwalk, Connecticut
10AM We'll Gladly Accept Deliveries at the Back Door
Principal over loudspeaker: We're looking for someone to give us wood.
4 Robert Holcomb Way
Plainville, Connecticut
Overheard by: for a good cause
5PM Not Something You Want to Interrupt
Guy to coworker sitting on exercise ball at computer: Well, I'll just let you get on with your ball massage.
39 Norwich-Westerly Road
Mashantucket, Connecticut
Overheard by: Calamity Canyon
4PM You Have to Cut Out Sugar
Guy on phone: Slim-Fast doesn't work if you eat half a cake every night.
Stratford, Connecticut
4PM Specifically, Vinegar and Onion Pringles
White girl: So, what do you mean you guys don't have stockings on Christmas?
Hispanic girl: Spanish people's Christmas is more about expensive electronic gifts.
White girl: I just don't understand -- you also use all new decorations every year.
Hispanic girl: Yeah, we don't really do tradition well.
White girl: Spanish people are weird.
Black girl: Yeah, well, white girls smell like potato chips.
789 Howard Avenue
New Haven, Connecticut
1PM On the Plus Side, I Got Almost All the Way Through My Signature
Female coworker: I pulled my butt muscle taking a whiz!
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
10AM Look, Next Time You Die, Just Handcuff Yourself to God
Manager: There's a sucker born every minute, and I keep getting born!
55 Railroad Avenue
Greenwich, Connecticut
Overheard by: CV
5PM Don't Have an AutoFit
Tech support assisting with Excel: Whoa! No, no, no, no! I said I was going to adjust your columns, not kill you!
Trilegiant office
Trumbull, Connecticut
Overheard by: Redfox Alpha
12PM That Depends on How Nice Your Car Is
Coworker: Let's go for a ride. Does your top come off?
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
Overheard by: smooth
10AM It's actually a Clever Piece of Performance Art Commenting on the Injustice of the Electric Chair as a Means of Execution
Cop: Put the knife down, you don't want to do this.
Depressed guy: Stay back! I'm serious I'll do it!
Cop: Come on, put the knife down so we can talk.
Depressed guy: Stay back!
Cop, pulling out his Taser: Ok, last chance, put the knife down or I'll Tase you!
Depressd guy: Stop, I don't want to get hurt!
Cromwell, Connecticut
Overheard by: CT Observer
3PM The Cops Are Helpless As Long As We Call Them 'Delis'
Guy: I was at this one place last night where I paid an extra $10 to get a tossed salad at 3am. What a great deli.
Wilton, Connecticut
Overheard by: Derek Paruolo
3PM Which Means I Don't Understand the Question
Mortgage rep: And, finally, may I ask you what race you are? Caucasian, African-American...
Customer: I'm Canadian.
Fairfield County, Connecticut
12PM And Conveniently Carries Enough Ice to Cover an Unconscious Body in a Bathtub
Engineer: Where do I put this cooler?
Scientist #1: You know what that cooler is?
Engineer: Um, no.
Scientist #1: That's my old date cooler.
Scientist #2: Huh?
Scientist #1: 'Cause it's tall enough for a bottle of wine.
Scientist #2: I had a cooler too, for organs.
Engineer: This one's tall enough for a whole lung!
Highland Avenue
Cheshire, Connecticut
1PM A Brain That Dresses All Seductive but Won't Put Out?
Receptionist: What's a brainteaser?
16 Bailey Avenue
Ridgefield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Nikki
3PM This Turkey Baster Says You Are Mistaken
Co-Worker: My wife's not too happy with me.
Client: Oh, I'm sure--
Co-Worker: --No, she's pregnant again.
Client: Ooooh, that's gotta be your fault. No woman would do that to herself.
Highland Avenue
Cheshire, Connecticut
5PM Colorado: It's Out of This World (Allegedly)
Worker #1: Oh, didn't I tell you I'm moving to Colorado?
Worker #2: Really? When?
Worker #1: I leave next week, but I decided I would move to Colorado when I was six. That's when I heard John Denver sing "Rocky Mountain High."
Worker #2: That's why you're moving to Colorado?
Worker #1: Well, and because it's so hot here because of all the global warming going on. You know, they don't have that in Colorado.
Fairfield County, Connecticut
Overheard by: she actually is moving
12PM That's Different From What He Said Last Week at the Office Party
Boss: Does anyone have any questions?
Employee asks involved question.
Boss: You know what? I have a million questions that you cannot answer.
Employee: But you asked if anyone had any questions.
Boss: Yeah, and if I asked if anyone had to go to the bathroom, I wouldn't expect you to whip it out and take a whiz right here.
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Spacing Out
10AM And If You Put Your Tongue in my Mouth, Does That Cure Cancer or Something?
Experienced woman: So, Chuck* came over last night and made me sit on his face.
Inexperienced woman: Why? Does that, like, help breathing or something?
21 Oak Street
Hartford, Connecticut
4PM Pulling in All Directions, Simultaneously
Exec: If we are going to succeed, we need strong leadership from everyone on the team.
50 Commerce Street
Trumbull, Connecticut
Overheard by: lowly
10AM Next You'll Be Reading Our Subpoenas and Overdue Bills
Young boy: Mom! We've been in line for a really long time!!
Mother: No, not really. Stop complaining.
Young boy: Yes we have! We got here at 10:00, and it's almost 12:30!!
Mother: Damn the public school system for teaching you how to tell time.
Petco
Enfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Dark_Kitty
11AM Really, Even a Creek Will Get You If You're Careless or Stupid
Guy in cubicle #1: What are you doing?
Guy in cubicle #2: Looking at rivers that can kill ya!
349 Mitchell Street
Groton, Connecticut
Overheard by: Livonthedge
4PM Wanted: Necromancer (This Position Is Part-Time)
Worker #1: Hi, Sally*, my ID has expired. How can I get it renewed?
Worker #2: I suppose the other people on our team will also be expiring soon, too. Do we need to address them now, or should we wait 'til they actually expire also?
55 East Hartland Street
East Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Linda BoBinda
3PM If You've Got a 'Brazilian,' You Can Lose the Pants Entirely
Manager: Jen*, what happened to dress code?
Jen: I just rolled my pants up. I was hot.
Manager: Did you shave your legs?
Jen: Yes.
Manager: Then it's okay.
3 Kent Road
New Milford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Nik
4PM Just Don't Put Them In the Third One From the Left; That's For Tax Evasion
Co-Worker #1: You said if I was bored, I could go through the packing slips, right?
Co-Worker #2: Sure, go ahead.
Co-Worker #1: And you want me to get rid of the ones that are older than six months, right?
Co-Worker #2: Right.
Co-Worker #1: So throw them out?
Co-Worker #2: Yup.
Co-Worker #1: In the garbage?
Co-Worker #2: Uh-huh.
Co-Worker #1: Should I bring them out back to the recycling cans?
Co-Worker #2: You could put them in that recycling bin right under your desk if you wanted to take the time to sort them. We only recycle white paper.
Co-Worker #1: So should I put them in the dumpster out back?
Co-Worker #2: Really, throw them out in any garbage can you want. It. Doesn't. Matter.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
1PM Cyber Flirting
Employee #1: How many innings are in a baseball game? Eight? Ten?
Employee #2: Are you serious?
Employee #1: Yeah. C'mon, how many?
Employee #2: Eight. Why do you want to know?
Employee #1: I'm talking to this girl and I just told her she's struck out at the bottom of the ninth, and then I wrote, "even though there's only eight innings in baseball." Ha ha.
Employee #2: Did you send the instant message?
Employee #1: Yeah.
Employee #2: There's nine innings in baseball.
215 Glenbrook Road
Storrs, Connecticut
Overheard by: trying to contain laughter
4PM Brainstorming Session
New training manager: Back in the day, I had a great idea. I know we're into this touchy-feely self-esteem human resource stuff, but I said: "Take the supervisor who has the highest rate of unqualified, untrained direct reports, walk him to the end of the pier, and shoot him!" They told me I couldn't do that. But it would have been effective!
75 Eastern Point Road
Groton, Connecticut
12PM Lunch
Coworker #1: If she had been paying attention, she would have caught that.
Coworker #2: Does she know to look for it?
Coworker #1: No, she doesn't know enough to look for it. I'm not ready to show her that, yet.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
5PM That's a Wrap
Attorney: This work shit has got to stop. It's really bringing me down.
301 Merritt Seven
Norwalk, Connecticut
1PM Call on Line One
Receptionist: [Jake] from Queer Image is on line one for you.
Coworker: [Jake] from where?
Receptionist: Queer Image.
Coworker: Queer Image?
Receptionist: Uh-huh.
Coworker, giggling, picks up call: [Jake], what company did you say you were calling from? Ohhhhh, CLEAR Image.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
Overheard by: She cracks me up, and she's not even trying
5PM That's a Wrap
Employee: I asked for tomorrow off, 'cause I don't feel like working in the rain. I'll probably go fishing, though -- I don't mind fishing in the rain.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
10AM Coffee Break
Employee is showing off her new belly-dancing outfit.
Supervisor: So, you're really going to belly-dance in public?
Employee: Yeah!
Supervisor: I never really liked going to strip clubs when I was younger.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
Overheard by: I love this place!
4PM Stress Management
Warehouse employee, furiously banging tools around: Happy place, go to your happy place.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
overheard by: I love this place!
12PM Lunch
Coworker #1: How was your vacation?
Coworker #2: Good, except my boyfriend got sick. We think it was on some sushi.
Coworker #1: That's what he gets for drinking that stuff!
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
Overheard by: I love this place!
1PM Making Copies
Secretary: Why are these reports formatted so weird?
Boss: Well, because the Germans made them. Those Germans are weird.
Secretary: Hey, now... Be careful, I'm German.
Boss: Uh oh, you're not a lesbian too, are you?
Secretary: Well, I'm not really German.
Main Street Financial Office
East Hartford, Connecticut
5PM That's a Wrap
Trim middle-aged President: I just received my soccer badge in the mail.
Young receptionist: I can't see you playing soccer.
President: I don't play, I referee.
Receptionist: Still, I can't see your fat ass waddling up and down the field.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
Overheard by: now I'm going to have to answer the phones again
12PM Lunch
Receptionist over the intercom: Obituaries...Mmmmmmm....
16 Bailey Avenue
Ridgefield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Nikki
1PM Lunch
Secretary: You look kind of like Bill Gates.
Specialist: I don't look dorky enough.
Secretary: How dorky do you not think you look?
25 Sigourney Street
Hartford, Connecticut
2PM Data Entry
Worker: No, it's not here. I have Wang in my box...What? What did I say?
40 Apple Ridge Road
Danbury, Connecticut
11AM Damage Control
Co-worker on phone: I'm sorry, can you say that again?...I'm sorry...I'm having some trouble understanding what you're trying to say...Why don't you have your boss call me and we can get this straightened out?
Hangs up.
Co-worker: Just go back to your motherfucking country...Christ.
839 Marshall Phelps Road
Windsor, Connecticut
Overheard by: Douchey Douchelton
10AM Exit Interview
Employee #1: So have you heard from [Amanda] since she quit?
Employee #2: No. I called her twice but never heard back from her.
Employee #1: That's because she's probably bitter.
Employee #3: You've tasted her?
138 Greenwood Avenue
Bethel, Connecticut
Overheard by: Dawn Saunders
9AM Back to Work
Analyst #1: We need something to make this tea better.
Analyst #2: Have you tried rum?
10 minutes later.
Analyst #1: Do you have any more rum?
Analyst #3: It's ten in the morning.
225 High Ridge Road
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: QRC
2PM Update Site
Manager: When you're finished with the accessibility development for the hotels path, start on rental cars site.
Programmer: Um...accessibility...for rental cars?
Manager: Yes.
Programmer: So, we want to make it easier for the blind to rent cars?
Manager: Yeah...I know.
800 Connecticut Avenue
Norwalk, Connecticut
11AM Interviews
Candidate: Do you have a listing of job openings?
HR Secretary: Yes, there is a list on the blue piece of paper on the table.
Candidate: Which one?
HR Secretary: The blue piece of paper.
Candidate: This one?
HR Secretary: Yes.
Candidate: I'm not qualified for any of these. Do you have any other positions open?
HR Secretary: Did you turn it over? There are more job listings on the back.
Candidate: Oh.
155 Deer Hill Avenue
Danbury, Connecticut
3PM Smoke Break
Business Officer: You remember when I told you that?
Editor: No, I was drunk at the time.
409 Prospect Street
New Haven, Connecticut
4PM Water Cooler
Co-worker #1: I don't like space, or astronauts.
Co-worker #2: Why?
Co-worker #1: Well, this one time I was at the Kennedy Space Center when I was a little kid and there was a statue of an astronaut at the end of the museum and when I got close to it, it moved and it really scared me.
Co-worker #2: Ooh, that's freaky!
Co-worker #1: Yeah. That's why I don't like space.
250 Harbor Drive
Stamford, Connecticut
1PM Lunch
Co-worker #1: Hey, what are you doing?
Co-worker #2: Nothing.
Co-worker #1: What time are you going to lunch?
Co-worker #2: I was gonna go in a little bit.
Co-worker #1: Know what? I was too. C'mon, let's go take a pee, then we'll go to lunch.
1450 Chapel Street
New Haven, Connecticut
9AM Work Makes Me Sick
Bean Counter #1: Opening the shades really changed the colors in the
room.
Bean Counter #2: Yeah, the walls are now a different color puke.
4 High Ridge Park
Stamford, Connecticut
3PM Hand Out Secret Santa
Co-worker #1: Hey, [Eric]. I know what I'll get you for Christmas.
[Eric]: Oh yeah? What?
Co-worker #1: Some wifebeaters to wear with white shirts so I don't have to see your boobs through the shirt anymore.
Co-worker #2: All right...I've heard enough about [Eric]'s manboobs.
839 Marshall Phelps Road
Windsor, Connecticut
11AM Finalize November's Numbers
Account manager: Do you get the monthly reports and messages?
Office worker: No, I don't get anything. I'm so lonely.
409 Prospect Street
New Haven, Connecticut
5PM Get a Ride Home
Co-worker #1: I don't want to drive you home; it's way out of my way. Just take the company van home.
Co-worker #2: If I had a dick I would tell you to suck it.
General Manager: Hey, not in the office.
Co-worker #2: You too.
839 Marshall Phelps Road
Windsor, Connecticut
5PM Calling It a Day!
Underling: You've got mail!
Financial Analyst: I don't know that person. All right, I'll take it.
Underling: There was some white powder in there, but I smelled it; it seemed fine.
Financial Analyst: Well, that's good. Terrorists don't use anthrax anymore.
Underling: Just family and friends now, huh? Excellent.
27 Terrace Drive
Vernon, Connecticut
4PM I Declare Today Over
Co-worker #1: Isn't it true that a tick can get into your ear and work its way into your brain?
Co-worker #2: No.
Co-worker #1: I'm worried that a tick or some kind of bug has worked its way into my brain...I've had an awful earache for about two weeks now.
3 Berkshire Boulevard
Bethel, Connecticut
2PM Pick Up Mail
Mail guy #1: He said he smoked crack at work?
Mail guy #2: Yeah.
Mail guy #1: How did he do that?
Mail guy #2: He said he did it in the bathroom.
Mail guy #1: But how?
Mail guy #2: How?
Mail guy #1: Yeah. He has to walk past about 2 guards to get in the building. Those people are trained to smell shit and they know if you're coming in here dirty.
281 Tresser Boulevard
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Brenda Fate
3PM Chai Break
New guy #1: Exotic kay? I'm keeping away from that!
New guy #2: What?
New guy #1: Exotic...kay?
New guy #2: Key?
New guy #1: Khi?
New guy #2: Chee?
401 Merritt 7
Norwalk, Connecticut
12PM Update Records
Man: I'd like to change the name on the account. She's been dead for a while now.
CSR: For how long?
170 Utopia Road
Manchester, Connecticut
Overheard by: Mellen
11AM Get New Budgets
Boss: Do you receive that on paper or Excel spreadsheet?
Employee: I receive it on electronical format.
285 Primrose Lane
Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Sam
1PM Pick Up Facsimiles
Co-worker on phone: I will send it V. I. A. fax.
285 Primrose Lane
Fairfield, Connecticut
5AM Especially at that Special Olympics Race
Intern #1: I walk funny in high heels.
Intern #2: Everyone looks retarded in heels.
200 Orange Street
New Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: Samurai Jacqueline
12AM I Didn't Realize the Disgruntled Were So Anal
Employee: I wanted to know where the line for disgruntled employees starts.
HR Secretary: Right behind me.
500 Federal Road
Brookfield, Connecticut
12AM That's About As Funny As I'd Expect a CEO to Get
VP: It's not working. I can't get it up. I can't get it up.
CEO: They make a pill for that now, you know.
28 Crescent Street
Middletown, Connecticut
6AM That's Quite a Cyberporn Collection
Manager: There is something on the drive that is taking up 5 gig of space.
Employee: What's taking it up?
Manager: I don't know.
Employee: Things that make you go hmmmmmm.
Manager: What?
777 West Putnam Avenue
Greenwich, Connecticut
Overheard by: Ballsalamode
4PM You're Just Usurying That as an Excuse
Loan originator: Hi, Mark.
Techie: Hi, Cheryl.
Loan originator: It's Cathy.
Techie: Oh, sorry. You loan people all look the same.
1 Wall Street
Madison, Connecticut
Overheard by: ^chi^
8AM Terry Schiavo? The Pope?
Yard worker: I raked the yard yesterday and I figured I'd be sore but I'm not.
400 lb. woman: I would be. You're in better shape than I am.
Co-worker: Who isn't?
246 Scoville Hill Road
Harwinton, Connecticut
8AM At Yale University, To Boot
Boss lady: Wait a second...February....February...
Gay underling: Feb-ROO-ary
Boss lady: It has an R?
Gay underling: Two, in fact.
Boss lady: Great. I work in publishing.
302 Temple Street
New Haven, Connecticut
8AM "Tech support; can you help me?"
Techie #1: You know what's better than eating girl scout cookies?
Techie #2: Eating girl scouts?
Techie #1: Um, I was going to say, "eating girl scout cookies with milk".
Techie #2: Yeah, that's pretty good too.
Techie #1: You're a fucking sicko.
1 Wall Street
Madison, Connecticut
Overheard by: ^chi^
8AM "I didn't wake up on time this morning. The Jews again."
Lunching lady #1: It's the fault of the non-Catholics and non-believers that Terri Schiavo didn't wake up Easter morning.
Lunching lady #2: It's so true, you're so right. They just don't believe.
401 Merritt 7
Norwalk, Connecticut
Overheard by: Not a Catholic
12PM The Tech Guy: So Bright, and So Bitter
Office guy: Hey [Scott]! My laptop screen is off.
Tech: It helps if you push this button.
As the tech walks past my desk I hear him saying: Great, another fucking genius!
440 Wheelers Farm Road
Milford, Connecticut
9PM "Listening to you?"
Floor supervisor: To begin, I understand some of you have complaints. First, can anyone tell me exactly what it is we are asking you to do that we are not paying you to do?
20 Alexander Drive
Wallingford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Jody Ruskouski
