Montana All Categories > Places > United States > California and Northwest > Montana

Recent | Best Of

 

11AM Then He'd Play with Them in His Crib

Disgruntled boy: ... And they put the birth control education flyer up on my locker! My locker! I'm pretty sure that violates--
Overeager Spanish teacher, popping up from behind desk: --Oh! Oh! My mother used to put condoms under my brother's pillow! We all called her the 'Birth Control Fairy'!

High school
Livingston, Montana


Overheard by: Finally appreciates the tooth fairy


Posted 2007-11-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

4PM Burt Bacharach: Dammit!

Worker bee: There's nothing more romantic than porn falling on your head...

Palmer Street
Missoula, Montana


Posted 2007-09-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

5PM Army Recruiters Are Born, Not Made

Little kid: Hey, you want to come to my birthday party? It's all about hunting and killing and stuff.
TA: Um, I'll think about it.
Little kid: Listen, your mom isn't your boss anymore.

Sherwood Street
Missoula, Montana


Overheard by: Casey


Posted 2007-06-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

3PM Dubya: Can We Get a Constitutional Amendment to That Effect?

Coworker #1: Tell me I'm crazy.
Coworker #2: You're crazy.
Coworker #1: Yeah, Helen* totally caught me checking out Bob* yesterday.
Coworker #2: You're crazy, 'cause he's gay...
Coworker #1: So, what? Gays aren't allowed to look good?

Missoula, Montana

Overheard by: Gaia


Posted 2007-05-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

11AM Montana Has All the Extremist Anti-Federalists

Travel agent #1: I can't find the District of Columbia brochures.
Travel agent #2: District of Columbia? Is that in Canada?

Billings, Montana

Overheard by: wow


Posted 2007-02-02 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

10AM Just Like Daisy Duke

Sunday school teacher: How's that new little kitten of yours?
Priest: She's doing well. We're taking her over to the vet tomorrow to be spayed.
Child #1: What's spayed?
Child #2: That's when they take off her overalls so she can't have babies.

Joliet, Montana


Posted 2006-11-13 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

11AM Solitaire Is a Conspiracy by the Black Man to Undermine White Productivity

Employee #1: Blacks, blacks everywhere! Stupid blacks! I can't do anything with them. They just take over.
Employee #2: Cletus*, quit playing solitaire and do some work.

Downtown
Missoula, Montana


Overheard by: non-profit ninja


Posted 2006-09-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

1PM That's Hardly a Reason. He Must Have Smelled Bad.

Customer: I would like to complain about the woman who works here. She was very rude to me for no reason, even yelling, and then made me leave.
Clerk: Are you the guy who was walking around naked?
Customer: Oh...ah, well... [Leaves quickly]

Porn store
Bozeman, Montana


Posted 2006-09-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

4PM If You Don't Have Lunch, When Will You Talk Smack?

Older woman: It isn't good for your metabolism to eat too little.
Younger woman: Yeah, I remember when I was a kid and saw those starving African kids on TV. I said, "They aren't fat, look at their bellies!" That's what happens when you don't eat enough, you get bloated.

1500 University Drive
Billings, Montana


Co-worker #1
: Do you want to go to lunch?

Co-worker #2: I'm on a diet.
Co-worker #1: But we're going to get ice cream afterward.

800 E. 96th Street
Indianapolis, Indiana


Posted 2005-06-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook