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9AM I Guess I Did Mean to Sound Racist
White coworker: Hey, I don't mean to sound racist or anything, but are you Haitian?
Black coworker: Yeah, I am... But why is that racist?
White coworker: Because Haitians are dirty.
Outside Palms restaurant
Okinawa
Japan
2PM My Career Is in Your Tiny Hands
Navy commander to his three-year old who's locked herself in the connecting bathroom again: Susie*, open this door at once! I command you!
Visiting officer's quarters, Tachikawa Air Force base
Tokyo
Japan
4PM So, Similar to Washing Down a Whole Bottle of Tylenol With a Fifth of Jack Daniels
IT nerd #1: Well, it's kinda like when you are on shrooms.
IT nerd #2: Um...
IT nerd #1: Okay, well, same thing as LSD.
IT nerd #2: I have never tried that either.
IT nerd #1: Peyote?
IT nerd #2: No...
IT nerd #1: Mescaline?
IT nerd #2: I have never tried illegal drugs.
IT nerd #1: Okay, well, it's kinda like quickly drinking 8 or 9 bottles of NyQuil.
IT nerd #2: Oooohhh, okay. That I've done. Now I understand.
Elevator
2-3-14 Shinagawa-ku
Tokyo, Japan
Overheard by: Brian Milvid
9AM Okay, People, You Are to Cease Using the Austin Powers Films in Management Training
Underling: Is that what you need?
Boss: I was asking for a shark with laser beams, and I got a manatee with flashlights? Thanks.
Kadena Air Base
Okinawa, Japan
Overheard by: R U Shittin' Me
12AM We Don't Have to Be Polite Because We Won
Japanese engineer: So how is Detroit?
American engineer: Well, Detroit is what Chicago would look like if a nuclear bomb blew up there.
Japanese engineer: Nuclear bomb?
American engineer: Yeah, you know, like what a city would look like after you dropped a nuclear bomb on it. Kinda like that.
300 Takatsuka
Hamamatsu, Shizuoka
Japan
