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Dorks, Geeks, & Nerds All Categories > People > Dorks, Geeks, & Nerds
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4PM The Next Ben Stiller Movie
Employee geek #1: Where are those boxes that UPS brought earlier?!
Employee geek #2: The brown ones with white labels?
Employee geek #1: Yeah, those! I need them ASAP!
Employee geek #2: I saw them next to your mom's bed last night! [Laughs.]
Employee geek #1: What? How did they get there?! Shit!
200 Sampson Place
Seattle, Washington
10AM ... In a Cardboard Box Labeled "Sports Equipment"
40-ish cube dweller #1: Hey, do you have a Star Trek costume I can borrow?
40-ish cube dweller #2: Why are you asking me? Why didn't you ask Kevin*? What makes you think that I have one?
40-ish cube dweller #1: Well, do you?
40-ish cube dweller #2: Yes. [Very long pause.] But only the shirt. It's a blue one like Spock wore. I also have the tricorder and the gold sash from the 'Mirror, Mirror' episode. I'll bring it in tomorrow.
Lexington Street
Baltimore, Maryland
12PM A Ninja Pirate Robot Bunny?
Nerd #1: Done! Like a bunny, I am quick!
Nerd #2: Like a ninja bunny!
Nerd #1: ... A ninja, pirate bunny!
Telephone company
Iowa City, Iowa
Overheard by: Jesus Christ
11AM I'm Having One Now
Office girl: This magazine says that men, on average, have sex 84 times a year.
Older math geek: Hmmm. That's like one and a half times a week.
Office girl: What do you mean, 'half'? There are no half-times when it comes to sex.
Older math geek: Trust me, there are.
Chantilly, Virginia
11AM I Knew It!
Engineer #1: So, what do you think?
Engineer #2: About what?
Engineer #1: I never knew that they made clip-on ties in such a variety of colors.
Tech lead, wearing bright purple, non-clip-on tie: Haha... Aye. Very funny.
Engineer #2: Yeah, I need to strap one on this weekend.
Cranberry, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Slappy
2PM ... In a Hypothetical World Where I Play D&D
Coworker #1: We should start a D&D game.
Coworker #2: Yeah. Let's ask Ben* if he wants to play, too!
Coworker #1, yelling to Ben: Hey, want to play D&D later?
Ben, yelling back: No! I don't play D&D!
Coworker #2: We thought you'd be a good Druid.
Ben, yelling back: Fuck that, I'm a thief acrobat!
Oshkosh, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Will
3PM "Real" Means Different Things to Different People
Trekkie coworker: Dude, at the convention they had light sabers for sale for two hundred dollars.
Bored coworker: So?
Trekkie coworker: They were just plastic, they weren't even real!
County Road 427
Auburn, Indiana
Overheard by: Doesn't have a real light saber either
11AM Chinese Hamster Gynecologists?
Minion: Do you seriously want to go off on a Chinese hamster ovary tangent? I mean, who gives a crap?
1959 NE Pacific Street
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: snickerpants
1PM Someday He'll Have His Own Interns to Torment
Scientist #1 to intern, smacking him in the face with a latex glove: I challenge you to a duel! [Intern rolls his eyes and walks away.] Interns these days -- they don't have a sense of humor.
Scientist #2: Does it really matter? He could be a psycho serial killer, but as long as he does my work for me I don't really care.
701 East Pratt Street
Baltimore, Maryland
10AM Hard to Believe
Geek #1 with barrettes in his hair: Do you have any tape?
Geek #2: I don't give tape to guys who wear barrettes.
Geek #1: They're sparkly butterflies.
Geek #2: Whatever. I don't have any.
Geek #1: Do you have anything that works similar to tape?
Geek #2, rummaging in desk: I have some deodorant... and some mouthwash.
Tremont Street
Boston, Massachusetts
9AM Apparently They Go to the Same Waxer
Man: Answer me this -- just what the fuck does Chewbacca know about Tarzan, anyway?
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: pleasekillme
3PM He's Anterean-Curious
Male coworker: But Anne Heche is oddly hot, and she'd be okay with another woman in the bedroom. Plus, she's insane, which makes her fun.
Female coworker: Well, guess if you're fantasizing about someone bi and crazy she could be interesting...
Male coworker: See? See? I think she might actually be an alien. That'd be even better! Aliens are sexy.
Female coworker: No, no, now you're just getting weird and nerdy. Aliens are not sexy.
Male coworker: I always imagined the female alien from Cocoon to be really sexy. She had a great body when the skin was on her, but there was something scary and yet awesome about the glowing part. I'd want her to keep her human skin on, but I imagine sex with her to be like nothing else you've ever imagined. And I imagine her kisses to taste like candy and electricity, like pop rocks or something.
Female coworker: Okay, now you've let me know too much information, and you're still getting all nerdy.
Male coworker: Okay, you're right. This is starting to sound weird.
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
11AM She Doesn't Like Doing Either, She Just Likes Talking About Them
Nerd #1: All Brittney* talks about is food and sex.
Nerd #2: Yeah, what do you think she likes doing more: talking about eating while having sex, or talking about fucking while having lunch?
333 Pfingsten Road
Northbrook, Illinois
Overheard by: deltar
12AM If Only Monsters Were Still a Fantasy, There
Office guy #1: Dude, you're making me nervous with that letter opener.
Office guy #2: Why's that?
Office guy #1: Because you look like you played too much Dungeons & Dragons back in the day.
18 Adam & Eve Mews
London, England
12AM Presenting: The Nerdiest Coversation Ever Held
Engineer #1: A charred, dark husk of evil smoldering into infinity would be cool.
Engineer #2: I'd prefer the Dyson Sphere. Though I personally find Niven ringworlds much more aesthetically pleasing.
Engineer #1: But a husk!
Engineer #2: A Dyson sphere could be kind of a husk.
Engineer #1: Come on! Spooky husk!
Engineer #2: No! No spooky husk!
Engineer #1: Aww.
Engineer #2: ...We can make the Dyson Sphere kind of spooky if you insist.
401 Elliott Avenue W
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Bjorn Townsend
