Airline worker: I'm clear at gate 20 and that flight attendant is a bitch. Denver International Airport, Colorado Overheard by: Headed toward the Flight Attendant
Older woman: Yes, I have fifteen years of commission-only sales experience, and I’m accustomed to traveling four days out of the week.
Interviewer: Oh, um, well that’s great. Um, yes, some of our new hires don’t like traveling because it’s so lonely and can be far from home and, um, you know, like solitudish and lonely.
Older woman: That’s okay with me. Travel is fine, but I can’t travel for three weeks out and one week home. I have two cats. I can leave them for four days at a time but not three weeks.
Interviewer: Oh. Well, that’s unfortunate ’cause we really would like you for the job. Well, um, if something would happen that would mean you could take this job, um, like I won’t get into what that would be or anything morbid or sad or anything…but you could always re-apply. 6500 Matalin Place
Tech: Did you speak a lot of German?
Office girl, just back from England: Um, I don't speak German.
Tech: Oh, so they all speak English over there?
Office girl: No, I just didn't go to Germany. Fresno, California
NYU Professor: Being a visiting professor has its good points: I don’t give a shit what I say!
19 University Place
New York, NY
Coworker #1: Did you have a good vacation?
Coworker #2: Of course! Is there any such thing as a bad vacation?
Coworker #3: Well, my friend fell off a train once… in Thailand. Boston, Massachusetts Overheard by: jessie
Coworker #1: Has anyone ever been to Hoover Dam?
Coworker #2: No, but I hear that the Canadian side is much better than the American side. Pendleton, Indiana Overheard by: Watching for invading Canadians
Caller: I am calling about a claim that was denied last week.
Insurance customer service: Which claim is that, ma'am?
Caller: The one from my doctor's visit while we were in Hawaii.
Insurance customer service: Well, ma'am, your policy doesn't cover international medical claims–so your doctor's visit in Hawaii wouldn't be covered. Denver, Colorado
Air steward, during safety demonstration: We are expecting some turbulence during this flight. Please remain seated with your seat belt buckled. Remember, we have worker's compensation and you don't. San Diego, California Overheard by: Kirstoona
Lady coworker: I don't like the direction “west.” Dallas, Texas
Coworker #1: I went to the black rodeo.
Coworker #2: Black rodeo?
Coworker #1: Yeah, all the cowboys are black.
Coworker #2: Ohhhhh…where was that?
Coworker #1: Alabama. They had mini cows.
Coworker #3: I think those are baby cows…calves.
Coworker #1: I thought they were premature big cows.
Coworker #3: What the fuck is a premature big cow? Newspaper