Archive for the ‘Students’ Category

Tell You What — Half Price for You. You Can Give the Six Dollars to Me

Girl #1: Ummm, we need to make copies, and we don’t want to spend a lot of money.
Student worker: The copier over there is 10 cents, same as everywhere on campus.
Girl #1: That’s so expensive!
Student worker: You could also scan the papers and print them out. That’s free.
Girl #1: What do you mean?
Student worker: Ummm, you can put them on the scanner, hit ‘Scan,’ and then when they pop up, hit ‘Print.’
Girl #1: I don’t know about this whole scanning thing — it sounds really complicated.
Girl #2: But that sounds better than making copies. I mean, we only need 12, and I don’t want to spend 12 dollars. Campus library, Bemidji State University
Bemidji, Minnesota

Patient: Hey! It’s Damn Cold in This Paper Gown

Physician: What can you tell me about this X-ray?
Student: It’s a male pelvis with two fractures.
Physician: It’s shaped like a male pelvis, but it’s not.
Student: How can you tell?
Physician: The lack of a penis outline on the X-ray helps. Emergency Room, University of Kansas Hospital
Kansas City, Kansas Overheard by: Stifling the Laugh

He Can Be Ready in 60 Seconds

Teacher: Can you tell me what states I might find on the West coast of the United States?
Student: The big one on the bottom. Mexico is part of the United States.
Teacher: No, that is wrong. Mexico is a country, try again.
Student: Look, my parents live here and they said we’re American and they came from Mexico. It’s part of the United States.
Teacher: I am telling you, you are wrong. Mexico is a country — it has its own government.
Student: Look, if it was its own country then why is everyone just walking over here? That’s what I did and I’m still here.
Another student pulls out cell: Not for long. School, Desert Marigold Lane
Las Vegas, Nevada