Archive for the ‘Students’ Category

And Let’s Face It, You Don’t Have Much Going for You besides Your Looks

Girl #1: He is so shallow!
Girl #2: Not at all, why would you say that?
Girl #1: ‘Cause he’s attracted to you. 3535 Monroe Drive
South Bay, California

… Impotence, Incontinence, Flatulence, Priapism…

Training instructor: You should not upgrade the software right when a patch comes out. Sometimes it may have bugs.
Student: So, it’s like when you take a drug, sometimes it can have side effects like—
Training instructor: Yeah, but let’s keep the discussion focused on software.
Student: —Throwing up, vomiting…
Training instructor: Uh, yeah. Madison, Alabama

Tell You What — Half Price for You. You Can Give the Six Dollars to Me

Girl #1: Ummm, we need to make copies, and we don’t want to spend a lot of money.
Student worker: The copier over there is 10 cents, same as everywhere on campus.
Girl #1: That’s so expensive!
Student worker: You could also scan the papers and print them out. That’s free.
Girl #1: What do you mean?
Student worker: Ummm, you can put them on the scanner, hit ‘Scan,’ and then when they pop up, hit ‘Print.’
Girl #1: I don’t know about this whole scanning thing — it sounds really complicated.
Girl #2: But that sounds better than making copies. I mean, we only need 12, and I don’t want to spend 12 dollars. Campus library, Bemidji State University
Bemidji, Minnesota

Patient: Hey! It’s Damn Cold in This Paper Gown

Physician: What can you tell me about this X-ray?
Student: It’s a male pelvis with two fractures.
Physician: It’s shaped like a male pelvis, but it’s not.
Student: How can you tell?
Physician: The lack of a penis outline on the X-ray helps. Emergency Room, University of Kansas Hospital
Kansas City, Kansas Overheard by: Stifling the Laugh