Woman to coworker: And I was like, “Whatever, you don't pay my bills!” (pause) Well, actually, he pays all of my bills. Buffalo, New York
Older woman: This is the first day since you started here that I haven't talked to you!
Younger man: I know! I'm going to go home and write about it in my diary! Anoka, Minnesota Overheard by: Will he use his sparkly pen?
Coworker: Derek’s* married? To a WOMAN?!
165 West 46th Street
New York, New York Overheard by: Beth
Suit #1: Good morning, pal!
Suit #2: I'm not your pal…
Suit #1: Well, sure you are, buddy!
Suit #2: Look, my day would be far less painful if you'd stop referring to me using synonyms of “friend.” M'kay?
Suit #1: Sure thing, friend!
(Suit #2 storms out)
Suit #3: That's a new record…fifteen seconds! Bank
Young guy to girl: I see you everyday and I'm completely unaffected. Valparaiso, Indiana Overheard by: jake
Woman #1: I feel bad he’s stuck talking to her. I feel like I should rescue him.
Woman #2: Oh, they deserve each other; they’re both full of shit.
Woman #1: But his is a different kind of shit.
Woman #2: Yeah; his is bull, hers is horse. 175 S. Third Street
Woman #1: Hey! Look at you! I didn’t know you were back from maternity leave.
Woman #2: Yeah, I just came back yesterday.
Woman #1: I saw the pictures you emailed. She’s adorable. I remember you were worried about labor. How’d it go?
Woman #2: Not too bad, actually. Kind of what I expected. Although I punched my husband and threatened divorce during the worst of it.
Woman #1: Are you serious? What did he do?
Woman #2: Right when my contractions were about two minutes apart, he got nervous and attempted to distract me. So he kept making that ooohbah, ooohbah noise that those robot things made in Revenge of the Sith.
Woman #1: Omigod! I know what you’re talking about. What a jerk! That’s so funny, though.
Woman #2: Yeah, I know. We laugh about it now. But at the time I punched him in the stomach and called him a bastard. I told him if he opened his mouth again even to cough, we were getting a divorce. Poor guy wouldn’t even talk to the nurses after that. 777 Eisenhower Parkway
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Owner: Have you proposed to her yet? When are you gonna propose to that girl? You're not getting a bonus, a raise, or a review until you get down on your knees.
Owner: For her! Rogers, Arkansas
Older office guy: Every day I'd go in, moon her, and she'd throw candy at me. Jeannette, Pennsylvania
Worker #1: Congratulations on your engagement and your new job! When is your last day?
Worker #2: Next Wednesday, thanks.
Worker #3: Are you leaving so soon because of that pooper ring on your finger?
Worker #2: “Pooper ring”?
Worker #3: Yes, you know…You had to take it in the pooper to get a ring that big. 1600 21st Street NW