Boss to intern: The gym is a great place for networking. You tend to have a bit more pull with your colleagues when you see them naked in the locker room every morning. Bellingham, Washington
Coworker #1: Hey, Shaniqua can you hand me that coffee?
Coworker #2 (very angry): My name is not Shaniqua–that's racist. Just because I'm black doesn't mean I have a name like that.
Coworker #1 (defensively): That isn't racism–it's a joke. Calling someone by a name that isn't theirs isn't racist. You shouldn't be so quick to call someone a racist.
Coworker #3 (after some consideration): I thought about what you said earlier and you're right. Besides, everyone is racist to some degree. Even myself. I find that I'm racist against fat people even though I don't mean to be. Duluth, Georgia
HR employee to another: Does she look like she's been hanging out with Bob Dylan? Dunmore, Pennsylvania Overheard by: Can't imagine what this could entail
Employee #1 on audit day: Did you notice the unnaturally large head of the male accountant?
Employee #2: Oh my god, I noticed that last year during audit! Menasha, Wisconsin
Secretary: I’ve been meaning to ask you a question.
Lawyer: Sure, what’s up?
Secretary: So you’re Indian, right? I’m going to an Indian funeral today. And I’m not sure how to act.
Lawyer: Well…you’re not supposed to laugh.
Secretary: But they’re so Indian that they’re going to have her cremated.
Lawyer: That doesn’t mean you can laugh. Also wear all white. 1425 K Street NW
Washington, DC Overheard by: callmeahab
CEO: [Frank] and [James] go way back. And when they start on a bid, [Frank] doesn’t shave. He grows a moustache, and when we get the deal the moustache comes off. So when I see it start coming back, I want it off. Either way, he’s still the ugliest bastard we have on the team.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Woman #1: I haven’t had a haircut since my friend died.
Woman #2: Why not?
Woman #1: She used to do my hair for nothing.
Woman #2: Well, it looks like a fucking Brillo pad now. I’d throw some money at your head, and fast! 365 W Passaic Street
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Cube chick #1: I thought you put that up so everyone could see.
Cube chick #2: Nope. This is just for me. (deep sigh) I don't know why they made her bald.
Cube chick #1: I think they're trying to make her look 3-d. Carol Stream, Illinois Overheard by: eh what?
Nurse: Is that a paper clip in your hair?
Receptionist: Yeah, I couldn’t find a bobby pin
Nurse: God, you’re such a secretary. 800 East 28th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota Overheard by: killerboots
Girl: Omigosh, I learned something today. Did you know that bras have an adjustable strap? Well, the one I’m wearing today was always loose and showing my boobies a little, but then I adjusted the strap, and whoa, let me tell ya, my boobs are like five feet higher in the air, and they are fully covered.
Winston-Salem, North Carolina Overheard by: azn