Boss to intern: The gym is a great place for networking. You tend to have a bit more pull with your colleagues when you see them naked in the locker room every morning. Bellingham, Washington
Human resources rep, bringing in files: I am the depositor of things to be scanned!
Peon: I don't like you.
Human resources rep: Hahaha! I don't like you, either. Bayonne, New Jersey
Peon: So, why did you come in if you're sick?
Sick secretary: I came in because my boss needed me.
Peon (looking around office): But he's not even here!
Sick secretary (grimly): Oh, he's here. Believe me. He's here. He's definitely here. Kansas City, Missouri Overheard by: hope he's not here
Attorney to departing secretary: If I had known you get cake when you leave, I would have quit years ago! Indiana Overheard by: If only we'd known sooner…
Receptionist #1: Is tomorrow your last day?
Receptionist #2: Yes.
Receptionist #1: Good. Park Place
Cardiff University, United Kingdom Overheard by: stranded_in_UK
Secretary: You can’t do that!
VP: I’m like Bush. I answer to God.
Secretary: You answer to me!
VP: Isn’t that what I just said? 10559 Citation Drive
Brighton, Michigan Overheard by: Abigail Fisher
Kind supervisor: I just wanted to ask you to lower your voice a little bit. You must have gotten some good news on the phone, but you were a little rambunctious with the language. I think you said (whispering) “shit” three times during that call.
Embarrassed secretary: You ask so little of me, and I still can't do it. I mean, who has to tell a grown woman not to yell “shit” in a crowded office? Government Office
Boss: Do you live to give me shit everyday?
Employee: No, but that's a great question!
Boss: Alright, let's just put our cards on the table.
Employee: Can you beat a full house? Bellevue, Washington
Loud office lady: I don’t need to learn no more. You know money, you know dick, you know pussy — you don’t need to know no more.
Government office, 400 Maryland Avenue SW
Employee #1: I just don’t understand the point of Martin Luther King Day.
Emoloyee #2: Come on! It’s a big day! It celebrates when Martin Luther King freed the slaves.
Employee #1: That was Abraham Lincoln.
Employee #2: Oh. Well, it celebrates when Martin Luther King gave the Emancipation Proclamation.
Employee #1: That was also Abraham Lincoln.
Employee #2: Oh. I’m not very good at history. 821 Benvenue
Rocky Mount, North Carolina