Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category

1PM Lunch

Co-worker #1: How was your lunch?
Co-worker #2: It was okay. We had an old Greek waitress. I didn’t care for her too much.
Co-worker #1: Was it the fact that she was old or Greek?
Co-worker #2: It was a combination. Greeks are a weird people. 444 Park Avenue South
New York, NY

I Never Should’ve Shown Grandma How to Use the Internet

Employee: Hi, can I help you? Customer’s cell rings. Customer: Hold on a sec… [answers cell] Hey! did you talk to Jeremy*? He is pissed at you… Why? ‘Cause you put gay shit all over his MySpace! There is a guy with a huge dick on his MySpace! Yeah! You better help him get it off ’cause he doesn’t know how! Okay, bye.
Employee: Uhhh…
Customer: Yeah, can I get a sundae, please? 1050 Montauk Highway
Copiague, New York Overheard by: i hate customers…

It’s Amazing He Can Be Such a Good Lawyer, Despite Being Blind

Female staffer #1: You know what David* said to me? He said, “In case you know anyone who’s having a vasectomy, I have some advice for you to give them.” And then he told me about how they gave him a jock strap to wear after his surgery to keep everything in place, but that the one they gave him was too small. And I said, “David! I don’t want to hear any more!” But he kept talking about how uncomfortable it was to wear a jock strap that was too small for him after having his vasectomy. I was afraid he was going to start describing exactly how his balls were getting squeezed.
Female staffer #2: See, that’s a perfect example of how David is always so passive. If he weren’t so passive, he’d just say, “I want everyone to know I’m hung like a horse.” 10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina

2PM Client Meeting

Manager #1: Do you think Christmas carols are appropriate for when the
prospective client comes in at 2?
Manager #2: What’s wrong with Christmas carols?
Manager #1: I just feel like it doesn’t represent us.
Manager #2: You’re asking the wrong person, because I love christmas carols.
Underling: Well, [the CEO] is the one who put this playlist on.
Manager #1 & #2: Oh, okay. 552 Broadway
New York, NY

10AM Department Meeting

Boss: This is not an interactive meeting, so no feedback of any kind. Every customer who gives a commitment today will get a $350 Home Depot giftcard. This is only until the end of business today.
Loan Officer: But I got a customer commitment yesterday. Can I tell her that we will send her one?
Boss: Didn’t I just say that this meeting is not interactive? I won’t answer your stupid questions.
Loan Office: …So what’s the answer? The boss storms out. Loan Officer: I’ll just ask him later. 2700 Westchester Avenue
Purchase, New York

3PM Slushie Run

Coworker#1: Okay, I’m back.
Coworker#2: Where did you go?
Coworker#3: We went to get a slushie.
Coworker#2: What? Where’s mine?
Coworker#1: You didn’t say you wanted one.
Coworker#2: Well, must my slushie needs be known to everyone? I just can’t believe you went without even asking me.
Coworker#3: How is she supposed to know if you wanted a slushie?
Coworker#2: I always ask her if she wants one when I go. I even give her money if she wants one. Oh, and look now. Now your’re drinking it in front of me.
Coworker #1: Dude! You never said you wanted one. You even saw me walk out. Do you even want one?
Coworker# 2: No, I’m fine. 19219 N 4th Street
Covington, Louisiana