Archive for the ‘Gossip’ Category

At the End of a Stalk

Girl #1, after male coworker receives huge bouquet of flowers: You know, I wonder if he’s doing something to egg her on.
Girl #2: Nah, some girls are like that, you know? It’s called stalking.
Girl #1: You know, I knew a girl like that once. She had a glass eye. 5718 Westheimer Road
Houston, Texas Overheard by: the things i hear around here

Or Possibly a More Competent Lawyer

Programmer #1: I don’t think my brother has been out of jail for Christmas or his birthday for the last six years.
Programmer #2: Maybe you should get him a subscription to Playboy?
Programmer #1: I was thinking cigarettes. Tech center
Denver, Colorado Overheard by: so glad I’m not related

5PM That’s a Wrap

Accounting #1: I’m so excited! My boyfriend gets back today after being gone for five weeks!
Accounting #2: So what you’re telling me is that you’re gonna be late tomorrow because you’re gonna be up all night having sex.
Accounting #1: No, he’s more of a one-hit wonder. We’ll be asleep by 10. 1001 G Street NW
Washington, DC

It’s Amazing He Can Be Such a Good Lawyer, Despite Being Blind

Female staffer #1: You know what David* said to me? He said, “In case you know anyone who’s having a vasectomy, I have some advice for you to give them.” And then he told me about how they gave him a jock strap to wear after his surgery to keep everything in place, but that the one they gave him was too small. And I said, “David! I don’t want to hear any more!” But he kept talking about how uncomfortable it was to wear a jock strap that was too small for him after having his vasectomy. I was afraid he was going to start describing exactly how his balls were getting squeezed.
Female staffer #2: See, that’s a perfect example of how David is always so passive. If he weren’t so passive, he’d just say, “I want everyone to know I’m hung like a horse.” 10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina