Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category

I Have Some in My Trunk

Fat old creepy guy interrupting three Asian girls: So how old is this guy?
Asian girl #1 (looking awkwardly at friends): 18.
Asian girl #2: Yeah. (laughs) She likes them young.
Fat old creepy guy: Oooh! (pause) You can train him! Get a collar and a leash and a big stick like the ones my kids use to whack their pigs! Sacramento, California

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Why “Employees Must Wash Hands” Signs Exist

Gay server #1: We’ll be meeting that non-lesbian who looks just like a guy.
Gay server #2: Dibs on her anus.
[pause]
Gay server #1: It’s always about the anus with you, isn’t it? Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana Overheard by: Shatmandu

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