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1AM Don't Piss Off Jesus. Just Don't Do It.

Customer: Well, maybe I could find something at a lower price that needs fixed up. I do a lot of remodeling work.
Real-estate agent: Sir, if you're a carpenter you won't be able to afford anything in this area.
Customer: I'm a contractor and I have more money than I know what to do with. If I say I'm going to climb into your ass and renovate, that's what I'm going to do.

109 Lafayette Street
New York, NY


Overheard by: Dirtpatch

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf? |
Posted 2005-07-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

3PM Just Take It! What's He Going to Do, Tell You You're Shoplifting?

Customer: I'm looking for one of those things where I can plug it into my TV's video and plug like four video game systems into it and push a button to switch between them.
Employee: Yeah, I don't think we sell those.
Customer, picking up item: I'm looking for this.
Employee: Oh, we don't sell those.
Customer: You... don't... sell these?
Employee: No.
Customer: You're sure?
Employee: Yeah, we definitely don't sell those.
Customer: You don't sell these? This thing that I picked up off your rack with a price tag on it?
Employee: No. Circuit City might carry them, though.

Best Buy
Astoria, New York

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf? |
Posted 2006-10-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

9AM And Gently Style It

Female patron in upscale salon: My friends do everything their stylist says to. I'm like, 'Grow a set, already'!

Springfield, Virginia

Overheard by: James

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf? |
Posted 2007-12-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

1PM If It's Too Hard to Process, Just Pretend You Didn't Hear It

Avis clerk: I just love your little beanie!
Jewish guy: It's actually called a yarmulke. I'm Jewish, and all Jewish men wear them.
Avis clerk: Oh! Well, you have yourself a merry Christmas!

Charlotte Airport, North Carolina

Overheard by: Renjeau

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf? |
Posted 2006-10-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

9AM It's Going to Be One of Those

Buyer: How you doin'?
Vendor: I'm good! How you doin'?
Buyer: Oh, I'm doin' everybody.

525 Rudder Road
Fenton, Missouri

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf? |
Posted 2005-11-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

11AM Jesus: The Way You People Treat Each Other, I Hate You All!

CSR, sighing at computer: Jesus hates me. [Alarmed when notices customer] I didn't mean that.
Customer: No, it's okay. He probably does.

1400 Apalachee Parkway
Tallahassee, Florida

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf? |
Posted 2007-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook