You Know, the New Ride at Six Flags

Office manager, talking about video intercom at front door: Jimmy's too short for the camera.
Jimmy: I had the same problem when I did porn. Manhattan, New York Overheard by: Lindsay

For Your Comfort and Safety, Remember That Kids Are Pretty Literal

School social worker, to kindergartner on lap: So what happened right before you ran out of your classroom?
Kindergartner: I’m peeing.
Social worker: What do you mean, you’re peeing?
Kindergartner: I’m peeing.
Social worker: [jumps up, displaying huge wet spot on her pants]
Kindergartner: I TOLD you I was peeing. 5130 Roxbury Road
Indianapolis, Indiana Overheard by: Fair warning given

11AM Interviews

Interviewer: Are you persuasive?
Candidate: I call it force of personality. Like, I read people and
then I get them to do things by acting different ways. Like some people, I yell at them. I’m not mean but I yell at them. But like my boss, I can’t yell at him.
Interviewer:Because he’s your boss?
Candidate: No. He does better if I do like, a little girl act. You know? Like, “Oh please.”
Interviewer: Um, okay. So, who is your favorite designer?…This isn’t a trick question. I just want to know.
Candidate: My favorite designer is United Colors of Benetton. 721 5th Avenue
New York, NY Overheard by: mean girls