Oh, I Know You're a Fan Of My Hard Candy?

Attractive female employee: Hey Steve*, do you have something hard that I can suck on to keep me awake?
Steve*, after 15 second pause and in disbelief: Jane*, you really don't know how long I have been waiting for you to ask me that.
Attractive female employee, turning red: I meant did you have candy, like Jolly Ranchers or something.

San Luis Obisbo, California

You're Not Making Me Want to Help, Doreen

Female HR, struggling to pick up carton of printer paper: Can you help me with this?
Male HR: This would be a good time to use the new hand cart.
Female HR: Okay, yes, but I can't even get it up off the floor.
Male HR: So, you can't get it up, huh?
Female HR: No, that's you.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Men Aren't Supposed to Have Feelings, but They Do

Sales guy #1: He said you didn't run stairs, and you're saying you did run stairs. So did you run stairs or not?
Sales guy #2: What else did he say?
Sales guy #1: Well, I didn't want to tell you… but he called you fat, and said you were too fat to run stairs.
Sales guy #2: (shuffling noises)
Sales guy #1: Are you going to cry and move your desk away from mine again? I'm not the one who said it, he… c'mon man, don't move, come on back over here… Fine. Whatever.

Irvine, California

Overheard by: Fred