Guy exiting bathroom to coworker: Seriously, you could have measured first downs with that. Lititz, Pennsylvania
Writer muttering to himself: Do I have the hiccups? Do I actually have the hiccups? Is that actually what’s happening to me? Renton, Washington
Coworker #1: I had the worst case of diarrhea while I was gone.
Coworker #2: Ohmigod! Where at?
Coworker #1: On the plane.
Coworker #2: Did you go in your pants?
Coworker #1: No, I went to the bathroom.
Coworker #2: The bathroom on the plane?
Coworker #1: Yes, it was horrible! I was in there for 40 minutes. People were pounding on the door, asking if I was alright, while I had repeated bouts of diarrhea.
Coworker #2: That's sounds terrible!
Coworker #1: It was! I was so embarrassed. Battle Creek, Michigan
Security guard, teaching “harassment in the workplace” class: We want to look professional in front of the patrons. So don't run around playing grab-ass at the security podium. Western New York Overheard by: Niteowl
Girl #1, eating lunch: You are what you eat.
Girl #2: Are you calling me a prick? Boca Raton, Florida
Guy #1: Man it stinks in here.
Guy #2: HR should offer training in the courtesy flush. 12545 Riata Vista Circle
Crazy coworker, nonchalantly: I knew a guy who killed his girlfriend. Stuffed her in the wall…
Gay server #1: We’ll be meeting that non-lesbian who looks just like a guy.
Gay server #2: Dibs on her anus.
Gay server #1: It’s always about the anus with you, isn’t it? Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana Overheard by: Shatmandu
CSR: Could you guys not talk while I’m on the phone?…And could you not breathe either?
1650 Bobali Drive
Harrisburg, Pennsyvania Overheard by: Erin Spohn
Coworker on phone: No, no, they want to build a better mousetrap. We want to take the mousetrap, dismantle it, and build an aircraft carrier. It's completely different. San Francisco, California Overheard by: Melissa