Woman wearing glasses straining to read document: Ugh! I need glasses. San Diego, California
35-year-old man at post office: I'd like to buy some stamps, please.
Postal employee: Here you go. (hands him generic stamps)
35-year-old man: Do you have any stamps that are a bit… cooler?
Postal employee: What did you have in mind?
35-year-old man: I don't know… Ninjas? Post Office
California Overheard by: Jamie
Job interviewer: So, when exactly are you moving here?
Job interviewee: As soon as we find a place to live. We’re looking for an apartment or a condom. 602 West University Avenue
Worker bee: Sorry, I got my lesbian juices all over it.
200 West 7th Street
Cincinnati, Ohio Overheard by: Phone Slave
Office drone: A monkey could do my job. At least he'd be able to fling poo when he heard a stupid idea. Phoenix, Arizona
General manager: I’ve got a small favor to ask you…
Sales guy: I am not getting in a chicken suit and dancing on the roof again! 8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland Overheard by: Stayin’ until 5…
Liberal cube dweller #1: I have so much to celebrate next week. My sister's birthday and the anniversary of Roe v. Wade.
Liberal cube dweller #2: You celebrate that?
Liberal cube dweller #1: Yes, I absolutely do.
Liberal cube dweller #2: What kind of cake do you get?
Liberal cube dweller #1: A fetus cake.
Liberal cube dweller #2: I have seen the fetus cookies, but I have never seen a fetus cake.
Liberal cube dweller #1: I'm kidding. Not about celebrating Roe v. Wade, but about having a fetus cake.
Liberal cube dweller #2: I'd eat a fetus cake. Albany, New York Overheard by: We are NOT Reception
Co-worker #1: Morning [Etienne].
Co-worker #2: Morning. It’s going to be hot today, it’s already 80 degrees out there.
Co-worker #1: My weather station said it was -15 degrees.
Co-worker #2: What is that, in celsius or something? 1345 Monroe Avenue NW
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Sales manager: I don't think we can work with this guy.
Director: It was like 30 years ago, right?
Sales manager: Come on, he beat a two-year-old kid to death!
Director: Unforgivable, I know. But you don't have kids, so you don't understand. I have four kids. There are times that I totally see how that might be a reasonable thing to do. Fort Mill, South Carolina
Worker #1: Did you vote?
Worker #2: I can’t vote.
Worker #1: Why not?
Worker #2: I’m not a citizen.
Worker #1: You’re from here, no?
Worker #2: No, I’m from Canada.
Worker #1: Oh… You don’t look like a Canadian. 45 Rockefeller Center
New York, New York