1PM For the Record, I Call My Vibrator "The Bird"

Supervisor: I think my bird is dying. What should I do?
Coworker #1: Put it in a bag and tie it to your car exhaust.
Coworker #2: Put it in the freezer.
Coworker #3: Put in a bag and whack it.
Supervisor: You people scare me... Go back to work.

Chicago, Illinois