12PM Sometimes He'd Euphorically Do Body-Shots Off of me and Ned From Accounting

Female coworker: I'm so tired of being alone but it's impossible to meet any available men here. I should have taken John* up on his offer.

Male coworker: Who?

Female coworker: You know, John Smith*. The guy who was here about eight years ago and got booted, then came back a few years later, then got booted again a couple of years ago.

Male coworker: Oh he's been booted more times than that! What are you talking about?

Female coworker: Didn't I tell you? He came back last fall trying to get reinstated and stopped by to see me. He said he'd been thinking about me. He wanted to know if I was interested in getting together but I didn't want to get into that so I lied and said I was seeing someone. Now I wonder why I did that.

Male coworker: Maybe because he's a bipolar bisexual alcoholic?

Female coworker: There is that...But I bet he wouldn't have bored me.

Small town, Washington

Overheard by: i'm lonely too - but not that lonely