9AM He Should Ask to Speak to a Buddhist CSR, Fluent in the Language of Reincarnation

Heated caller: So let me understand this: if I die, I get $100,000?
CSS rep: No. If you pass, your beneficiary will receive $100,000.
Heated caller: But it is my money. I am paying the premium for it. I should be able to get my money. Why can't I have my money?!
CSS rep: Because you will be dead, ma'am.
Heated caller: That's ridiculous. I want to speak with a manager.

1 Sartan Way
Merrimack, New Hampshire

Overheard by: CSS Nightmare