Or Be Safely Dead

Worker #1: Guys! I just heard! By 2050 there's gonna be ninety billion humans. I hope we can feed everyone!
Worker #2: Uh, I think that estimate is a bit high.
Worker #1: No! They said it on the radio, so it's true. Maybe we can colonize Mars by then, or something… University
Urbana, Illinois

Isn't That, Like, a Tittie Club?

Employee #1: I am trying to find Egypt on the map.
Employee #2: Me too, I thought it was in Cairo.
Manager: Come on, guys, it is not in Cairo, it is part of the Gaza strip! Las Vegas Office building

You Deserved That Look, Sweetie

Queer admin guy #1: They made another round of changes, so I had to go out and get more binders. Those thick ones are really expensive, too.
Queer admin guy #2: What were they, four inches?
Queer admin guy #1: I got the three-inch ones, I think.
Straight admin girl: But is three inches enough? Do you think?
Queer admin guy #2: (gives her a look)
Straight admin girl: No! No no no no no! Manhattan, New York Overheard by: Scooter

It’s Only a Paradox If You Intend to Do Any of That

Boss: So, the word from corporate is that we’re supposed to hang these on the windows as part of the new plan from Marketing?
Marketing assistant: Yeah.
Boss: But corporate service requirements say we’re not ever allowed to hang anything on any windows.
Marketing assistant: Right. Essentially, we have to figure out a way to put them on the windows without actually putting them on the windows.
Boss: Awesome. West Creek Drive
Richmond, Virginia