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12PM Have You Noticed My Guard Dog and Electric Fence?
Coworker #1 to coworker #2: I wish I was holding your Magoo.
Coworker #2: Ummm... I'm gonna leave you two alone.
Coworker #1: Close the door on your way out.
Coworker #2: You don't have a door, you have a cube.
Coworker #1: So... What's your point?
Milford, Connecticut
11AM He Prefers to Be Called "Santa," by the Way
Boss to web developer: Didn't we do that site for... For... Ugh... You know... Dick bag motherfucker...
Web developer: Um... No... I don't remember doing anything for Dick Bag motherfucker.
Red Bank, New Jersey
10AM Or We Could Just Expand Our Coverage to Baghdad
News guy working on obits: I never thought I'd see the day when we're out of dead people.
Traffic chick, during slow shift: Well, maybe someone will crash and solve both our problems!
Gainesville, Georgia
9AM Regardless, Let's Wear Bikinis.
Dumb blonde #1: Is there a pool at the swim gym?
Dumb blonde #2: I think so...
Hastings
New Zealand
5PM Heh, You Said "Electrical Arc"
Electrical foreman on radio to electrician: Okay, here goes.
Electrician: We've got a huge electrical arc goin' on here!
Electrical foreman: Well, don't touch it!
Electrician: Well, fuckin' duh! Er, I mean... 10-4.
Phoenix, Arizona
4PM Viggo Mortensen!
Maintenance worker: Word association-- linoleum!
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Overheard by: Rhys
3PM ...Kill All Humans?
Boss to office: What does a robotics team do?
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: stuck in cube neighbor hell
2PM The Two Of Them Would Go on to Become Ear Buds for Life
Male sales VP, looking over sales rep's shoulder at computer: Oh yeah, I have that on my iTunes too: Quando, Quando, Quando, by Englebert Humperdink.
Male sales rep: Yeah, this is my gym mix.
Santa Barbara, California
1PM Has the Millionaire Matchmaker Gotten Too Full Of Herself? Discuss.
Coworker to another: You should let him go first, he has a bigger one to pull out.
Los Angeles, California
12PM You Can't Run and You Can't Hide, Guys
Consultant: Menopause is not a one-day thing!
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: M@
11AM More Like I Played Hockey with It-- Was That Wrong?
Secretary: My mouse stopped working.
Tech guy: Was this after you dropped it?
Secretary: Yes.
Public University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Clark W.
10AM He Still Doesn't Do It as Homosexually As Possible, Though
Case worker: My husband was laying around like a little faggot last night.
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Spazzy
9AM And If You're Interested in the Other Thing, I Have Some Diagrams That May Help.
Female director to peon about to leave to celebrate anniversary: I hope you have plans to do your wife right this weekend. (five second awkward pause) And by that I mean "do right by your wife this weekend." I gotta go, bye!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: r
5PM Tell Her That We'll Supply the Loofahs.
VP: They were used to our company being Mr Goodbar, Mr Good Humor guy, but not anymore. If I want her to embrace it, she gotta have more skin in the game.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Redacted
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