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11AM And She's Part Mayan
Broker's assistant: What is today's date?
Current office manger: It's the 30th, according to Jennifer.
Gulfport, Mississippi
Overheard by: Office Manager In Training
10AM But First We Reduce Him to Tears With Cross-Examination
Messenger: Hey, I'm just the messenger.
Receiver: Do you know where the phrase "Don't shoot the messenger" came from?
Messenger: Cause they use to shoot the messenger.
Receiver: You know why they still have that saying? Cause we still shoot the messenger.
Lyndhurst, New Jersey
9AM We'll Also Hire a Chimp to Press Random Buttons, and See If That Helps.
Colleague, on phone to is help desk: Hi, I'd like to report that we haven't had access to the internet for two days now.
Help desk: Okay, we'll log it as an issue.
Colleague: What happens now?
Help desk: We'll report it to security to look at.
Colleague: And what will they do?
Help desk: They'll look at it.
Manchester, New Hampshire
5PM ...Using Duct Tape
Cube monkey #1: Who would've linked Paul McCartney and Renee Zellweger together?
Cube monkey #2: Kevin Bacon.
Las Vegas, Nevada
4PM Just Hold Still, Mr. Senator.
Cube rat #1: These nuts taste old.
Cube rat #2: What did you just say?
Cube rat #1: Nothing.
Detroit, Michigan
3PM Eventually the Boss Will Come Back from Vacation and Find Her in His Office
Lady screaming on cell in cubicle: And then I told him, "we are gonna go with that one!"
I know, it's like there's seven of us and we can't decide which nursing home to put mom in!
Chattanooga, Tennessee
2PM And the Workplace Dynamics Consultant Swore By It.
Coworker to another: The group sex didn't change anything.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
1PM Amazing How Men Die Before Women Do
Female coworker #1: Yeah, I didn't come into work the other day because I was bleeding so bad, I mean I was in the bathroom every hour changing my pad.
Female coworker #2: I know, I bleed extremely heavily! I'm in there at least every 20 minutes.
Female coworker #1: At least I'm not like Patti*, she was bleeding like the Niagra Falls. When I'm bleeding all over myself, I just don't feel like working.
Cecil County, Maryland
12PM Does That Come with Itching and Peeling?
Woman on bus: You've gotta be careful in life and not let your mishaps turn into haps!
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Evan
11AM Too Late! Here's Your Gag.
Surveyor #1: Ray is top; I am bottom.
Surveyor #2: Uh...
Surveyor #1: Wait. that didn't come out right!
Rockville, Maryland
10AM You Wanted the Beef a La Mode, Right?
Lady in large party: How can you remember all of this?
Waiter: The longer I stand here, the less I remember.
Restaurant
Placerville, California
9AM So You Can Read It Aloud.
50-year-old female #1: Oh my god! You have to hear this! (reads entire e-mail aloud)
40 year-old female #2: Oh my god!
50-year-old female #1: I know!
40 year-old female #2: Oh my god!
50-year-old female #1: I'm forwarding it to you now.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: NoRest4TheWicked
5PM Makes Me Want to Bust a Click-and-Move
Suit #1: Yo, you tried that new Office?
Suit #2: What?
Suit #1: That new Microsoft Office 2008, 2009 or whatever.
Suit #2: Yeah.
Suit #1: That shit is hot!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: algernon
4PM I'm So Glad We Can Talk Like This.
Executive in meeting: Oh, you brought cold water?
Assistant: Yes, ice water.
Executive: Very nice! Where'd you find ice?
Assistant: In the freezer.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Christine
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