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5PM And the Cocaine's All Stuck in It.
Audit manager: This must be the original! I can see some snow-flakey stuff on it.
Auditor: Eh?
Audit manager: You know, what do you call it... Correcting tape.
Auditor: Oh.
Wellington
New Zealand
4PM How Texans Admit Stupidity
Cubicle dweller on phone: Watching movies is my version of speed reading.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: notaduhme
3PM ...Have You Ever Seen One Of Their Action Movies?
Disembodied female voice: But there is cheese in China!
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Anon Y. Mous
2PM Sigh. Story Of My Life.
Office drone, surfing the net: I can't find an image of a woman in a prison jumpsuit that would fit in a shopping cart...
Manhattan, New York
1PM I'm Also Reluctant to Stick It in My Ear
Coworker: The word "aural" just doesn't feel right in my mouth.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Trying not to be sent to HR
11AM ...To an Israeli Customer?
Cube dweller #1, on phone: "Yes, "h" as in "Hitler."
Cube dweller #2: Wow... Did he really just say that?
Kansas City, Missouri
10AM Well This One Is Your Wife, Sir.
Manager: Now why are we being sued on this one?
Employee: Because our client was at fault for the accident.
Manager: We have such idiots for clients! Where the hell do we find such morons to buy insurance from us in the first place?!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
9AM BP Has Problems Everywhere Lately
Coworker on speakerphone: He tried to put it in today, but he can't get it in the hole.
Boss: Didn't we give him dimensions, Chuck?
Coworker: Yes, we did, but they were too big.
Boss: Let's make a template!
South Carolina
Overheard by: AlyssaFaith
5PM That's Like Going Without Water!
Coworker to another, whispering during staff meeting: And no sex... Not even anal... (room goes dead silent)
Las Vegas, Nevada
4PM If Dark Angel Had Been Shown on the Logo Channel
Office philosopher: Everyone's pretty much a lesbian bike messenger in Portland, anyway.
San Diego, California
3PM Why Is There a Cobra in the Conference Room in the First Place?
Older rep approaching retirement to 30-something coworker: You have to tease it to get it to start squirting.
Manhattan, New York
2PM Translation: "I Don't Want to Quit, But I Don't Want to Work Here."
Loud partner to secretary, giving his lunch order: I don't want it spicy, but I don't want it un-spicy.
Secretary, pretending she knows exactly what he means: Oh, sure, okay.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: first year associate
1PM ...Cassandra.
Senior programmer to slightly-less senior programmer: The thing is: every time we don't pay attention to you, you're right.
Berkeley, California
11AM Best. Job. Ever.
Laughing woman with young child: And then I just had to follow the cow around with a bag, waiting for it to poop!
Oakland Zoo
Oakland, California
Overheard by: lith
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