Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
12PM ...But, Seriously, I'm a Witch.
Old Australian man trying to flirt with young female barista: Remember back in the old ages when we could burn women at the stake? That was lovely!
Young female barista: Hahaha!
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: jerry
11AM When Academics Go Into the Private Sector
Employee: You look like a hobo office worker! Can I take a picture?
Los Angeles, California
10AM When Lifestyles Collide
Receptionist: I slept a lot this weekend, 'cuz I drank a lot, you know? I woke up at 5:30 yesterday afternoon, which, you know, just hurt my feelings.
Boss: What?
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: freudian flip
9AM By Watching Porn All Day at Work
Coworker, arguing against gun regulations: They say that easy access to guns leads to mass killings. Well, there's easy access to prostitutes but I don't have syphilis. I restrain myself.
Nashville, Tennessee
5PM You Can't Teach Talent
Program manager on phone: Have you thought of marrying this chick? (pause) Does she give good head? (pause) Okay, is she willing to learn?
North Carolina
4PM Why I Don't Talk to My Co-Workers: Explained.
CSR on phone with customer: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't cover vehicles outside the United States.
(five minutes later)
CSR to coworker: I think I told the customer the wrong thing. Is Hawaii part of the United States?
Southington, Connecticut
3PM We Prefer Weaponry to Punctuation
Boss on phone with tech support: Wait... What is a colon? (pause) The dot and the squiggle line or the dot and the dot? (pause) Hello? Are you listening to me? (pause) No, I'm not stupid, I'm German.
Ocala, Florida
Overheard by: Mystique
2PM ...Or Am I Thinking Of The Breakfast Club?
Dental assistant: What was the name of that movie? The one about Pearl Harbor? You know, the one where they bomb Pearl Harbor?
Dentist: Um, I think it was called Pearl Harbor.
Dental assistant: No, it was a romantic movie... Where they bomb Pearl Harbor.
Dentist: Yeah, it's called Pearl Harbor.
Dental assistant: Oh, yeah! Pearl Harbor!
Dental Office
The Bronx, New York
1PM Regarding Our Perennial Problems Of Friction, Lubrication and Wear
Young engineer #1: Hey, dude, how are you?
Young engineer #2: Oh, man, Johnson is killing me today!
Greenville, Texas
12PM Because, If So, You're Right!
Boss: So, what do you like about working here?
Employee: Well, I really like that working here, you have your hands on the pulse of campus.
Boss: I'm sorry, did you say "the balls of campus"?
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Didshereallythinkshesaidthat?
11AM Seriously, Dude. Stop.
Production manager, loudly, to graphic artist nearby: Michael! You are just whipping it out today!
Van Nuys, California
Overheard by: Just walking on by
10AM Um, All I Said Was "Hello"
Loud secretary on phone: Ohhh, you said "Laurie." I thought you said "Willie Nelson."
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: jim from the office
9AM ...Mission Complete
IT guy #1: Hey, you want to hear something ironic?
IT guy #2: Yes! Tell me something erotic!
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
4PM Oh, I Know You're a Fan Of My Hard Candy?
Attractive female employee: Hey Steve*, do you have something hard that I can suck on to keep me awake?
Steve*, after 15 second pause and in disbelief: Jane*, you really don't know how long I have been waiting for you to ask me that.
Attractive female employee, turning red: I meant did you have candy, like Jolly Ranchers or something.
San Luis Obisbo, California
| Food Delivery
Order delivery food online from 2000+ NYC restaurants. Save 20%. |
| Gift Ideas
Find the perfect gift idea for any occasion at Gifts.com. |
| Computer Chair
Find the perfect Computer Chair at seatingzone.com |
| Bar Stools
Add some contemporary style to your kitchen or home bar.
|
| Birthday Gifts
A great selection of Birthday Gifts at 1800-Flowers. |
| Bookcases
Find a wide array of Bookcases at Home Decorators Collection. |