Take This Job and McShove It

Manager: You have to keep your collar buttoned unless your undershirt is white. I can see that yours is black.
Cashier: That’s not how we did it before.
Manager: That wasn’t this McDonald’s. 1983 86th Street
Brooklyn, New York

Paging Donald Trump

A bagel left unattended in a microwave sets off the fire alarms. The microwave, charred and smoking, is carried outside and is placed on the sidewalk. Fireman: Is this the object that started the fire?
Office Worker: No. When we take a break, it takes a break. 626 Thayer Road
West Point, New York

4PM Kill Andrew Ridgeley

HR Manager: Hey guys, I’m starting a new club in the office. Do you want to join?
Employee: Um sure, what kind of club is it?
HR Manager: It’s a club for people with Wham!’s song “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” stuck in their heads. Congratulations, you are all now members! 85 E Street
South Portland, Maine Overheard by: Brian Brinegar