So It’s Not All Bad

Lady peon #1: If we keep working at this rate we are A — going to get sick, B — going to be tired, and C — going to hate each other!
Lady peon #2: … You forgot D — divorced. Tallahassee, Florida

How International Incidents Begin

Maintenance guy #1 on cell: Hello? Uh-huh… Uh-huh… Si. Sure, okay [hangs up].
Maintenance guy #2: Who was that?
Maintenance guy #1: I don’t know — some Mexican dude. He was talking Spanish and I just agreed with him. I think it was a wrong number. 7160 Riverwood Drive
Columbia, Maryland Overheard by: Bored Receptionist

Engineers Are Notoriously Hedgehogeronormative

Engineer #1 to #2: What the hell is up with your hair?
Engineer #2: Nothing, leave me alone!
Boss to engineer #2: Don't you shower? You look like a bush hog.
Engineer #1: Yeah, you look like a bush hog.
Engineer #2: Of course I showered. I washed my hair last night. Leave me alone. What the hell is a “bush hog”?
Engineer #3: A homosexual hedgehog.
Engineer #2: Does my hair really look that bad? Coolidge, Arizona

Who Was That, by the Way?

Suit #1: Good morning, pal!
Suit #2: I'm not your pal…
Suit #1: Well, sure you are, buddy!
Suit #2: Look, my day would be far less painful if you'd stop referring to me using synonyms of “friend.” M'kay?
Suit #1: Sure thing, friend!
(Suit #2 storms out)
Suit #3: That's a new record…fifteen seconds! Bank
Glasgow
Scotland