Audit manager: This must be the original! I can see some snow-flakey stuff on it.
Auditor: Eh?
Audit manager: You know, what do you call it... Correcting tape.
Auditor: Oh.
Wellington
New Zealand
Cubicle dweller on phone: Watching movies is my version of speed reading.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: notaduhme
Disembodied female voice: But there is cheese in China!
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Anon Y. Mous
Office drone, surfing the net: I can't find an image of a woman in a prison jumpsuit that would fit in a shopping cart...
Manhattan, New York
Coworker: The word "aural" just doesn't feel right in my mouth.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Trying not to be sent to HR
Cube dweller #1, on phone: "Yes, "h" as in "Hitler."
Cube dweller #2: Wow... Did he really just say that?
Kansas City, Missouri
Manager: Now why are we being sued on this one?
Employee: Because our client was at fault for the accident.
Manager: We have such idiots for clients! Where the hell do we find such morons to buy insurance from us in the first place?!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Coworker on speakerphone: He tried to put it in today, but he can't get it in the hole.
Boss: Didn't we give him dimensions, Chuck?
Coworker: Yes, we did, but they were too big.
Boss: Let's make a template!
South Carolina
Overheard by: AlyssaFaith
Coworker to another, whispering during staff meeting: And no sex... Not even anal... (room goes dead silent)
Las Vegas, Nevada
Office philosopher: Everyone's pretty much a lesbian bike messenger in Portland, anyway.
San Diego, California
Older rep approaching retirement to 30-something coworker: You have to tease it to get it to start squirting.
Manhattan, New York
Loud partner to secretary, giving his lunch order: I don't want it spicy, but I don't want it un-spicy.
Secretary, pretending she knows exactly what he means: Oh, sure, okay.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: first year associate
Senior programmer to slightly-less senior programmer: The thing is: every time we don't pay attention to you, you're right.
Berkeley, California
Laughing woman with young child: And then I just had to follow the cow around with a bag, waiting for it to poop!
Oakland Zoo
Oakland, California
Overheard by: lith
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